Dolly Parton
and Queen Elizabeth
die on the same day and they both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven. Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the angel must decide which of them gets in. The Angel asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should get into Heaven.
Dolly takes off her top and says, 'Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure the angels will be pleased to see them every day, for eternity.'
The Angel thanks Dolly, and asks Her Majesty the same question.
The Queen takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, shakes it up, and gargles. Then, she spits into a toilet and pulls the lever.
The angel chuckles and says, 'Okay, Your Majesty, you may go in.'
Dolly is outraged and asks, 'What was that all about? I show you two of God's own perfect creations and you turn me down. She spits into a commode and gets in! Would you explain that to me?'
'Sorry, Dolly,' says the angel, but, even in Heaven,
a royal flush
beats a pair - no matter how big they are.
Don't blame me, blame Doug.
Dolly Parton is Dolly Parton, but the Portrait has got some shevelled hair... Not in style, no likeness.
ReplyDeleteWell, Göran, I didn't paint the portrait. I just posted the joke. Do Swedish folks love Queen Elizabeth more than the Brits themselves?
ReplyDeleteGood old Doug!
ReplyDeleteI just watched a video posted at Elizabeth Kaeton's place and it reminded me of my daughter. It's a powerful poem, made me sad for my daughter. I needed a pick-me-up!
Bad joke Doug, but it made me giggle. Now to bed.
Thx Mimi
Sara, you giggled. That's what counts.
ReplyDeleteSleep well.
dear, dear Mimi
ReplyDeleteyou can blame Doug if you will, but I thank you both
it's been a taxing 24 hrs, and the laugh did me a world of good
merci, chere amie
David@Montreal
Bon, mon cher David! Maintenant, je suis contente.
ReplyDeleteAs an aside, and way back in the days of Western Airlines, I once spent a couple of hours in their Denver Airport club room sitting across from an un-made up Dolly Parton. What impressed me the most was her calm, gentle graciousness with each person who intruded on her time and space to say something to her. That was maybe thirty years ago, but it sticks in my mind, especially when I get annoyed by someone intruding on my time and space.
ReplyDeleteWe are not amused.
ReplyDeleteWow! Dolly Parton posted here!
ReplyDeleteAhem.
Country Parson, I always thought Dolly Parton was a great(!) lady.
ReplyDeleteDolly! I love you. I really do.
And Doug Blanchard posted here, too!
Ahem.
Dolly was simultaneously on a couple of cable TV stations a few weeks back - live on Larry King, and her twenty-year-old self (time certainly flies) in Steel Magnolias, on another station. Comparison of her current and her 1989 self was surreal.
ReplyDeleteI remember the first time I saw Dolly on "The Porter Waggoner Show". She was dressed modestly in a western shirt and vest, but the grands tetons were obvious. I called Grandpère into the room to see. This would have been in the 1970s, before breast enhancement surgery became so common, and I assumed they were real, which, I believe, they are.
ReplyDeleteLapin, you should have seen me 20 years ago! Surreal.
No, Mimi - that would be the Americans.
ReplyDeleteGöran, not this American. She's a nice lady and all, but....
ReplyDeleteI've lined up HRH for your trip. Hope that's O.K. She was so keen she sounded needy. What could I say?
ReplyDeleteDP, that's fine. We'll meet as equals, although HRH has a few years on me.
ReplyDeleteGreat joke!
ReplyDeleteAnd let me say that I love Dolly Parton.
I'd love to see you in the same room as HRH, Mimi.
Jane, I think HRH and I would probably get along quite well.
ReplyDeleteAnd this, of course, is why your blog has such a reputation.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to know what folk think you have in common.
ReplyDeleteI can understand Grandmere's ignorance but D-P started it and I am shocked, he should no better. Elizabeth 2 is HM not HRH that is for the rest of her family.
ReplyDeleteThis Australian Royalist.
Yeah, maybe...but oh what a pair! ;)
ReplyDeleteLindy, me! A reputation? Oh noooo!
ReplyDeleteBrian, thank you for not blaming me. I copied DP, and he should know these things.
DP, we could talk of our children and grandchildren, and of how the price of everything has gone up. I'm sure she's having to cut back, too.
David, ya think?
My mom was 6 months older than HM, but proudly insisted she looked younger {*} . . . practically up until the time she was in her death-bed. Good ol' mom.
ReplyDelete{*} Mainly because my mom used that which "only her hairdresser knew for sure" until she was on her death-bed, and HM seemingly never did.
When's your trip, Mimi? Have a suuuuuper time! ;-D
[You MUST say "allo" again to my favorite cathedral, Lincoln. And have lunch there in the Tudor pub overlooking the pond w/ the swans. I'll trust it's still there, after almost 30 years...]