Monday, February 13, 2012

BRITISH HUMOUR IS DIFFERENT

These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old,
Hateful little bastard.
Bites!

FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.

FREE PUPPIES.
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.

**** And the WINNER is... ****

FOR SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

STATEMENT OF THE CENTURY

Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker--Billy Connolly.

"If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"
Don't blame me. Blame Erika if you wish, but I don't blame her at all, because I laughed.

7 comments:

  1. Self-hating woman that I am, I laughed hardest at Billy Connolly's contribution.

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  2. What about that famous British hospital sign: "Birth Control Advice: Use back entrance".

    ReplyDelete
  3. Far be it from me to be naughty, Grandmère Mimi. It's an actual NHS sign at an actual hospital..

    Of course, I did get the wording wrong, but the sense is the same.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Are these from Erika? Excellent. I laughed. I like the gay bull.

    I once saw an ad in a Lost and Found column in the classifieds, from a bloke to his girlfriend, that read: "You've lost that loving feeling, now it's gone, gone, gone, whooh-ooh-oh." Never have been able to work out if he was a person with a very silly sense of humour or no sense of humour at all.

    ReplyDelete

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