Friday, July 3, 2020


Scatter Garden at St John's Episcopal Church, Thibodaux, La.

In the latter part of March, on a Saturday near the first anniversary of Tom's death, my family had arranged with Fr Stephen, the rector at St John's Episcopal Church, for the brief ceremony to scatter Tom's ashes in the lovely Scatter Garden at the church. The prayers in the Episcopal Church "Book of common Prayer" for spreading ashes are the same as for burial with the substitution of a word or two.

We had planned for the attendance of the immediate family, spouses and partners, and grandchildren who could come to be there and to gather for a meal in a restaurant afterward. That was not to be. Right around that time the numbers of cases of COVID-19 were increasing, and Governor Edwards issued a stay-at-home order. We postponed the ceremony.

When Edwards moved the state into Phase 2, we rescheduled the ceremony for Wednesday, June 5, with only Fr Stephen, our three children, Patrick, Tim, and Alison, and me present. When we arrived at the church rain poured down. We waited under the shelter at the door of the parish hall until the rain slacked. After the ceremony, my children and I shared a take-out meal on the patio at my house.

The pictures show the Scatter Garden at St John. It's a beautiful, peaceful place. In the background raised tombs in the church cemetery are visible. Julie, a member of the congregation carved the lovely Celtic cross that stands in the middle of the Scatter Garden.

The memorial plaque with Tom's name and dates was already in place for the ceremony. The brick in the wall next to Tom's is reserved for me when the time comes.


  1. In a peaceful garden, the last milestone on Tom's walk of life. Lovely. Bless you.

  2. May your memories be as lovely as the garden.

  3. What beautiful trees.

    I had a talk with my niece last week, the 4th of July was the eighth anniversary of her mother's death, when my niece was 15. I was very close to both of them, she was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer during the final week of her pregnancy with my niece - you can imagine the issues that come with that for my niece. I pretty much had full time day-care of my niece most days for the unexpected fifteen years her mother got with great and very a aggressive treatment available through the teaching hospitals in Boston.

    Talking with her, I found out that we're just beginning to get to the stage when we can talk about it.

    1. I find Tom is fading away, and I don't like it at all.


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