MALE LOGIC AT ITS BEST

Woman: Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes

Woman: How many beers a day?
Man: Usually about 3

Woman: How much do you pay per beer?
Man: $5.00 which includes a tip

Woman: And how long have you been drinking?
Man: About 20 years, I suppose

Woman: So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400 …correct?
Man: Correct

Woman: If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?
Man: Correct

Woman: Do you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man: Do you drink beer?

Woman: No
Man: Where’s your Ferrari?

(Doug strikes again.)

NAG, NAG, NAG

Fellas, I know some of you Mr Fix-its get right to the job, and I don't mean you.  I do the job myself if I can.  In fact, I am generally the handyperson around the house, but I live the message on the sign if the job is beyond me.

TODAY'S LESSON

And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world.

Then he made the earth round....and laughed and laughed and laughed...

 Don't blame me. Blame Doug.

KIDS START YOUNG

A little girl and a little boy were at daycare.

The girl approached the boy and said, "Hey, Stevie, wanna play house?"

He said, "Sure! What do you want me to do?"

The girl replied, "I want you to communicate."

He said to her, "That word is too big. I have no idea what it means."

The little girl smirked and said, "Perfect. You can be the husband."


Cheers,

Paul (A.)

Of course, Paul (A.) is in no way included in the characterization of men as poor communicators.

IF MEN GOT PREGNANT. . .

* Maternity leave would last for two years . . . with full pay.

* There'd be a cure for stretch marks.

* Natural childbirth would become obsolete.

* Morning sickness would rank as the nation's number-one health
problem.

* All methods of birth control would be improved to 100 percent effectiveness.

* Children would be kept in the hospital until they were toilet trained.

* Men would be eager to talk about commitment.

* They wouldn't think twins were quite so cute.

* Fathers would demand that their sons be home from dates by 10:00 p.m.

* Men could use THEIR briefcases as diaper bags.

* They'd have to stop saying, "I'm afraid I'll drop him."

* They'd stay in bed for the entire nine months.

* Menus at most restaurants would list ice cream and pickles as an entree.

* Paternity suits would be a line of clothes.


Cheers,

Paul (A.)

Thanks, Paul. You should know. :-)