tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174812066017196444.post8794431605463263607..comments2024-03-22T12:57:57.273-05:00Comments on WOUNDED BIRD: Confessions of a Recovering HomophobeJune Butlerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01723016934182800437noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174812066017196444.post-46041435220907055652008-12-18T14:04:00.000-06:002008-12-18T14:04:00.000-06:00Debbie, thank you so much for your comment.I can o...Debbie, thank you so much for your comment.<BR/><BR/>I can only imagine what it was like growing up around here. I recently met a young lesbian woman who is originally from Thibodaux. She is a singer and lived in New Orleans until Katrina and can't wait to get back to live there. At dinner, she told her story and cried while telling it. She has two gay brothers. Her very Catholic family finally came round once she told them, but it took about two years for them to adjust.<BR/><BR/>Since I started my blog, I've heard so many stories similar to yours, and each one of them brings tears to my eyes. With one or two exceptions, they are not happy coming-of-age tales.<BR/><BR/>For what it's worth, although Thibodaux is a nice enough town, I'd rather have been living in New Orleans, my home town, for all these years.June Butlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01723016934182800437noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174812066017196444.post-61084710744545883922008-12-18T13:42:00.000-06:002008-12-18T13:42:00.000-06:00Grandmére, I printed out and read your Confessions...Grandmére, I printed out and read your Confessions, and I wanted to thank you for this essay.<BR/><BR/>I grew up near Thibodaux (and sometimes Baton Rouge) in a good Catholic family. While none of my immediate family could be considered homophobes, there was such an overwhelming culture of homophobia in the area.<BR/><BR/>When I was in my mid-20s, I had to face up to the hard fact that I was a lesbian, and that I was never going to fit in with what was considered right and proper in South Louisiana culture.<BR/><BR/>I had a choice. I could leave, or I could die. I'm not being melodramatic--my desire for suicide during that time was much higher than my desire for life. Even if I had stayed alive physically, living such a closeted, self-hating existence would have killed me slowly.<BR/><BR/>Much has changed since the early 90s when I left Louisiana. In some ways, gays have become more accepted and understood. I am openly gay at my workplace, and my partner is considered my spouse by my company and my coworkers.<BR/><BR/>However, hatred against gays has not let up--in fact, in some ways, the strides we have made have served to polarize the two sides into even greater extremes.<BR/><BR/>One of the groups (here in Kentucky and back in Louisiana) that always had the worst problem with homosexuality was Christians. It wasn't just my lesbianism that cause me to leave the Christian faith (I had many problems with Catholicism and Christianity in general), but I certainly wasn't made to feel welcome because of it.<BR/><BR/>Reading this--you are so obviously Christian and so obviously decent--reading this gives me hope. Not that gays will be accepted completely in my lifetime--I'm not that delusional.<BR/><BR/>But with people like you out there, speaking frankly and compassionately, removing the labels and reminding your readers that we're all just people...I have hope.<BR/><BR/>Thank you for your courage in posting this. I'm very glad I found your blog.<BR/><BR/>PS: I don't get gay Republicans, either. Seriously--what are they thinking?DebbieBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08814385252339387712noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174812066017196444.post-53783536478335246742008-11-08T18:10:00.000-06:002008-11-08T18:10:00.000-06:00PadreRob and Alexandra, thank you. I have not rea...PadreRob and Alexandra, thank you. I have not read this series since soon after I posted them. I tried to read them the other day, and I had to stop, because I have changed so since I wrote them. They made me cringe.<BR/><BR/>However, I'm pleased that you found them worthwhile. What I found transformative for me was hearing the stories of GLTB folks, and I've heard so many more stories since I wrote those pieces, that I'm a long way from where I was then.<BR/><BR/>Thanks again.June Butlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01723016934182800437noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174812066017196444.post-87267542363042989892008-11-08T12:34:00.000-06:002008-11-08T12:34:00.000-06:00This is a great series of posts.I like your statem...This is a great series of posts.<BR/>I like your statement about the soft intervention.<BR/><BR/>It is all about personalizing minorities. Once we get past the nameless, faceless "other", and meet individuals, it is a world of difference.<BR/><BR/>Thank you for recognizing that we are all God's children -- he wouldn't make people queer if he didn't love them! :PAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174812066017196444.post-65204730116114231692007-04-15T12:05:00.000-05:002007-04-15T12:05:00.000-05:00I've just started reading your "Confessions", and ...I've just started reading your "Confessions", and I wanted to thank you for having the courage to write them. You give me hope again. (and after reading that disgusting Virtue post I needed some)<BR/><BR/> Tikkun Olam!Padre Rob+https://www.blogger.com/profile/13077275225848119534noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174812066017196444.post-30671304916928486512007-01-26T10:40:00.000-06:002007-01-26T10:40:00.000-06:00Mumcat, thank you.
Luiz, you are already mon cher...Mumcat, thank you.<br /><br />Luiz, you are already mon cher petit-fils adopté, and you are très doux yourself.June Butlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01723016934182800437noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174812066017196444.post-10980474420264515752007-01-26T10:03:00.000-06:002007-01-26T10:03:00.000-06:00Mimi, you're lovely! Adopt me please... ;)
xoxox...Mimi, you're lovely! Adopt me please... ;)<br /><br />xoxoxoLuiz Coelhohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14482291073983264328noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174812066017196444.post-58412014300422840982007-01-26T09:20:00.000-06:002007-01-26T09:20:00.000-06:00I appreciate your journey, having been on a simila...I appreciate your journey, having been on a similar one myself some years ago. I appreciate the honesty and gentle nature of your writing. Looking forward to hearing more of your thoughts.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174812066017196444.post-47886248834282396592007-01-25T14:31:00.000-06:002007-01-25T14:31:00.000-06:00And, I should add, some who aren't Anglicans at al...And, I should add, some who aren't Anglicans at all!Tim Chestertonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13676859074652475474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174812066017196444.post-64706521776156355582007-01-25T14:29:00.001-06:002007-01-25T14:29:00.001-06:00Ho - what was I thinking - busy here chatting inst...Ho - what was I thinking - busy here chatting instead of adding Grandmère Mimi to my 'long distance blogging friends' list.<br /><br />It's done. And I hope my list will increase dialogue, as it includes people on all sides of the current disagreements in the Anglican world!!!Tim Chestertonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13676859074652475474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174812066017196444.post-89823478999159619172007-01-25T14:29:00.000-06:002007-01-25T14:29:00.000-06:00C'mon down, Susan.
KJ, tell Grandpère that to get...C'mon down, Susan.<br /><br />KJ, tell Grandpère that to get a decent meal, he has to cook. Actually, he already knows that and does most of the cooking now. I raised my family on hot meals every day, cooked by me, for twenty-something years. Take-outs and fast food were a rare treat, because we could not afford them for a family of five. I got little respite from the kitchen for many years.<br /><br />A few years ago, I retired from regular cooking. I cook only when the mood strikes, which is not very often.<br /><br />Allen, thank you for understanding. I did, after all, come out of the closet as a recovering homophobe, and I was worried about the response.June Butlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01723016934182800437noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174812066017196444.post-48934292425142318362007-01-25T14:15:00.000-06:002007-01-25T14:15:00.000-06:00Mimi,
Thank you for posting this 2005 essay.
I ...Mimi,<br />Thank you for posting this 2005 essay. <br /><br />I can't imagine how anyone could be offended, but I know what you mean by posing it "in fear and trembling of offending" your friends. <br /><br />AllenAllenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04082981127553205332noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174812066017196444.post-32207691572409518322007-01-25T13:58:00.000-06:002007-01-25T13:58:00.000-06:00Grandmére,
I have received an e-mail from Grandpé...Grandmére,<br /><br />I have received an e-mail from Grandpére. He's wondering what a fellow has to do around your house to get a decent meal anymore.KJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15701224049914946896noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174812066017196444.post-60706595673579809662007-01-25T13:46:00.000-06:002007-01-25T13:46:00.000-06:00Ah, (((Mimi))). You are such a lovely woman. I am ...Ah, (((Mimi))). You are such a lovely woman. I am glad to know you here and at MadPriest's place.<br />I wish I were close to you so we could have red beans and rice and maybe some coffee with chickory. <br />Perhaps I shall take a train ride into the Deep South some day soon. There's something about the humidity that grows good folks! And it's good for the skin, too. ;-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174812066017196444.post-34054335845485918852007-01-25T13:06:00.000-06:002007-01-25T13:06:00.000-06:00Gettin' ready for my blogmeter to start spinning!
...Gettin' ready for my blogmeter to start spinning!<br /><br />You are already on mine, and I can see the deluge of people that are now flocking here!episcopalifemhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18092579249862725163noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174812066017196444.post-16973357152504360592007-01-25T12:43:00.000-06:002007-01-25T12:43:00.000-06:00My dear, Eileen, thank you. You are a blessing to...My dear, Eileen, thank you. You are a blessing to me, too, and you make me laugh. I love it when you join in my nonsense and fantasies at MadPriest's place.<br /><br />I am adding you to my blogroll, which, no doubt, will draw a host of readers to your site.June Butlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01723016934182800437noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174812066017196444.post-42627736519507989762007-01-25T12:32:00.001-06:002007-01-25T12:32:00.001-06:00(((Mimi)))
See, you prove to me that the Holy Spi...(((Mimi)))<br /><br />See, you prove to me that the Holy Spirit is alive and well and dwelling among us.<br /><br />What a blessing you are!episcopalifemhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18092579249862725163noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174812066017196444.post-64222847366677783812007-01-25T12:32:00.000-06:002007-01-25T12:32:00.000-06:00Thanks, Tim. I'ts likely that we have more in com...Thanks, Tim. I'ts likely that we have more in common than you and I know, and we must keep talking, despite the disagreements.June Butlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01723016934182800437noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174812066017196444.post-69130273385700150462007-01-25T11:38:00.000-06:002007-01-25T11:38:00.000-06:00Grandmère Mimi, even though I do not agree with yo...Grandmère Mimi, even though I do not agree with you, you write with such gentleness and grace about your convictions that I cannot imagine anyone ever being offended by your words.<br /><br />Furthermore, I think that this sort of writing is far more likely to engage folk like me in constructive dialogue than the more strident sort of attacks - of which, I'm sorry to say, I've contributed far more than I care to remember, to my shame.<br /><br />Keep on writin', and we'll keep on comin' - as KJ says, for someone who never intendeed to be a blogger, you're a damn fine one!Tim Chestertonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13676859074652475474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174812066017196444.post-66680740469688891002007-01-25T10:19:00.000-06:002007-01-25T10:19:00.000-06:00Actually, KJ, I posted this in fear and trembling ...Actually, KJ, I posted this in fear and trembling of offending folks I've come to know and like very much through these tubes of the internets. It's quite true that I've come a far distance since I wrote those words two years ago, but that's material for another post.<br /><br />Thank you for your very kind words. You can't know how much they mean to me.June Butlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01723016934182800437noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2174812066017196444.post-72582399343263675042007-01-25T09:46:00.000-06:002007-01-25T09:46:00.000-06:00"...it was not people who were in favor of the con..."...it was not people who were in favor of the consecration of Gene Robinson who brought me over to their side by their persuasive arguments. The folks with whom I basically agreed were the ones who pushed me to the other side."<br /><br />I think that this is a very important point, and why, when I bump into ad hominem attacks, stereotyping, hatred from the "progressives", I have to call it out. Those that oppose us do all the dirty work. Why get muddy? Why become a mirror image of that which you oppose? <br /><br />For a blogger who had no plans to blog, you're a damn fine one, Grandmére. You're #2! I can hardly wait until you write something with which I don't agree!KJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15701224049914946896noreply@blogger.com