WOUNDED BIRD

1. I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. 2. There are two kinds of pedestrians...th...

Did I read that sign correctly? TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE A...

NOW THAT I'M OLDER, HERE'S WHAT I'VE DISCOVERED: 1. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran. 2. I finally ...

THREE FOR YOU Drive By A guy broke into my apartment last week. He didn’t take my TV, just the remote. Now he drives by and changes t...

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 2. He, who laughs last, thinks slowes...

A man doing market research for the Vaseline Company knocked at the door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children runnin...

15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds? 16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it? 1...

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? 2. Why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand? 3. If a word is misspelled in the...

BEING THANKFUL A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your mother says your prayers for you each night That's very c...

...you'll love these! How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. Venison for dinner again? Oh deer! A cartoonist was found dead in...

To OWLS (Older Wiser Laughing Souls) Wisdom from Grandpa... Whether a man winds up with a nest egg, or a goose egg, depends a lot on th...

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it ******************** I had amnesia once---o...

At age 4 success is  . . .  not peeing in your pants. At age 12 success is  . . .  having friends. At age 16 success is  . . .  having a ...

My Favorite Words These fit so well they should be in a dictionary. ADULT A person who has stopped growing at both ends And is now growing...

Truer words were never spoken.   1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to it...

Why Go to Church?      One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready fo...

TEACHER: Why are you late? STUDENT: Class started before I got here. ____________________________________ TEACHER: John, why are you doi...

These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers: FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old, Hateful little bastard. B...

WARNING: Not 100% PC. What if there were no hypothetical questions? Is Santa so jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live? I ...

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months. A will is a dead giveaway. If you...