From the Telegraph:
A New Zealand man who claimed he was raped by a wombat and that the experience left him speaking with an Australian accent has been found guilty of wasting police time.
Arthur Cradock, 48, from the South Island town of Motueka, called police last month to tell them he was being raped by the marsupial at his home and needed urgent assistance.
Cradock, an orchard worker, later called back to reassure the police operator that he was all right.
....
Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court that alcohol played a large role in Cradock’s life.
From Lapin labeled, "This week's silliest story!"
I think it can be equalled by this tale, also from the Daily Telegraph!
ReplyDeleteMan has sex with picnic table
It could have been worse. A credance ta ...sorry, Grandmere!
The Daily Telegraph seems to zero in on the odd sex stories. That one should have saved his activity for behind closed doors.
ReplyDeleteYou're naughty, RR.
The picnic table story also has a link to the sad tale of the man in the Scottish homeless shelter, sentenced for having sex with a bicycle. And folks over at OCICBW keep asking why I read a conservative rag like the Telegraph!
ReplyDeleteConservatives must love the titillating stories.
ReplyDeleteAs a life-long Daily Telegraph reader, and as one who would not describe myself as a conservative in most ways, I beg to differ with dear Lapinbizarre. The DT was a conservative paper until the early 90s. Now I would best describe it as libertarian - which suits my way of thinking.
ReplyDeleteAnd may I say how pleased I am, Grandmere, at your joining the "Real Avatar Photo" club? We are in the minority, but proud!
I didn't say that it is a conservative rag, RR. I said that folks at another site, making that judgment, ask why I read it.
ReplyDeleteRR, thanks. You went with casual, and I went with dressy. The opera, you know. Since I had a fairly decent looking photo, I said, "What the hell. Go with it."
ReplyDeleteThat was a funny story, Grandmere. Thanks for sharing it-- I got a hearty laugh and a half from it.
ReplyDeleteI was going to ask Lapin how the Scotsman went about having sex with a bicycle. Then I tried to think about it, and I wished I hadn't, and please, please forget I mentioned it, and don't tell me.
ReplyDeleteMy reaction is the same as yours Kate. I can imagine, but I don't want to know. Google probably knows the secret.
ReplyDeleteAs my Australian household is currently filled with South Island kiwis (and never underestimate the importance they place upom distinguishing their island of origin!) let me thank you for the riotous mirth (accompanied by much imitation of each other's accents) which has resulted from this story.
ReplyDeleteAs the only Aussie present my concern is for the wombat.
Alcibiades, yes. No one until you even mentioned the poor wombat. Seems it was a timely story for you and your visitors.
ReplyDeleteI owe Alcibiades an apology for calling him "Caliban" over at TA earlier today when I quoted his link to Jensen's statement “If you get the big picture straight, you won’t be led astray as easily by the details of Scripture.” Apologies. Hope this doesn't affect my recently-conferred status at your site.
ReplyDeleteOnce a Duck Noodle Gangster - always a Duck Noodle Gangster: we're kind of like conservative Calvinists or the Freemasons, Labinbizarre. Except we only wear funny hats and aprons when miming to Barbra Streisand records, and we don't mind what someone of your calibre should feel like calling us.
ReplyDeleteNow has anybody seem my wombat suit? I have to make a phone call.
Alcibiades, does your wombat suit look like this?
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