Monday, April 28, 2008

Gayle - A Remembrance

 


Why Couldn't You Stay?

You walked away; you left us
Bereft, bereaved.
How could you go?
It wasn't your doing,
I know, I know.
Yet, how could you go?

Two years passed and gone,
Slipped away.
After you left, I'd think
I'll call her; I'll email.
Oh no! None of that!
You won't answer.

Now I know you're gone.
No thoughts of visits to come,
Seeing your face, hearing your voice,
The sound of your laughter.
Sadness lingers, emptiness remains.
Why couldn't you stay?

June Butler - 04-27-08


Yesterday was the second anniversary of the death of my sister, Gayle, from pancreatic cancer. I still miss her. The picture above was taken on the grounds of the Tower of London during a trip we made together. I stopped to take a picture as we headed to see the Norman chapel inside the White Tower. Gayle walked on and I caught her in the picture. For her memorial service, we searched for pictures to include in a small display, and I found this one - Gayle walking away from all of us who loved her. I have it framed and on my mantle. For me, it says it all.

31 comments:

  1. ((Mimi)) The picture reminds me of when my mother (who also died of pancreatic cancer) and I went to London and Scotland together. I'm glad you have the picture to remind you. The bittersweet memories are still gifts. Love to you.

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  2. Jan, when I first looked at the picture after Gayle died, I gasped. It was, and still is, the perfect image to express my loss.

    The progression of pancreatic cancer is swift and sure. Love back to you, my friend.

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  3. Hugs for you Mimi. Sisters are a wonderful gift of God. We may fight but we know they always care and in the end they are there for us. I do not know what I would do if I lost my sister. May you cherish happy memories.

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  4. I'm sorry for your loss. I know it doesn't get better with time.

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  5. I'm so sorry, Dear Heart.

    Pancreatic cancer took my mother too, almost 18 months ago. It is swift and sure and terrible. My prayers are with you.

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  6. Brian, we have many happy memories. I'm thankful for that.

    Doxy and Muthah+, thanks for the hugs and prayers.

    Bubs, it changes with time. I no longer think, "Oh, I've got to tell Gayle about this." I did for well into the second year. Missing her will never go away.

    Kate, you know, don't you? The swiftness, in its way, is a blessing, because it's a nasty disease.

    Brian's sister has been diagnosed with melanoma. I'm sure that prayers would be appreciated.

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  7. Oh Mimi- my prayers to you and for Gayle in her rest.

    It is hard, so hard.

    That photo and your poem- my breath stopped for a moment

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  8. (((Mimi))). What an eloquent picture. Thanks too for the poem. Anniversaries are especially painful... Love to you, and thanksgiving for the blessing of Gayle in your life.

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  9. Fran, Jane, thanks. She was my best friend, as well as my sister.
    My brother-in-law, her husband, liked the post. That meant a lot to me.

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  10. The poem is beautiful, Mimi, and so is the picture. Losing a sibling is such a difficult thing, almost like losing a part of yourself. You are in my thoughts.

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  11. Jim from Louisiana, thank you, neighbor.

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  12. oh, prayers for you Mimi. and you are right, pancreatic killer is a swift killer. one of my colleague's husband died of pancreatic cancer also.

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  13. Diane, Kirstin, thanks for the love and the prayers. Finding the picture was a gift. Although, it's bittersweet to look at, I'd rather have it than not.

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  14. ((((((((Mimi))))))))

    Your love for Gayle is so beautiful and touching. Thank you for sharing your poem with us...

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  15. A deeply moving poem, Mimi, for a deep and sudden loss. Thanks for sharing it with us.

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  16. I read this yesterday and didn't feel I had adequate words. I still don't but I wanted you to know I understand.

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  17. DP, thanks. As I reread the poem, I see a bit of anger coming through - anger at my sister who died through no fault of her own. I understand that anger toward the deceased is not all that uncommon, although it doesn't make any sense at all. Oh my. What a revelation.

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  18. I totally get the anger thing, Mimi. I sometimes joke with DF that if he goes and dies on me, I will dig him up and kill him a second time.

    It always makes him laugh at me, but I realized that I half mean it. The thought of him dying on me both terrifies me and makes me angry too.

    I intend to have a word with God about this whole death thing when I get the chance. It just wasn't a very good design choice, I'm thinking...

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  19. Doxy, in some strange way, that's a comforting word. You made me laugh, too.

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  20. Oh Mimi. ((((((((You))))))))

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  21. Mimi, I love your poignant poem and most-appropriate photo. I'm sorry for your loss of a treasured sibling. My sister, born 2 years & 2 days after me, died of pancreatic cancer 14 years ago this April. On my next-to-last visit with her, we went to San Antonio, then to the beach at Galveston. Happy-sad memories.

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  22. From diagnosis to death was only four months, but I had a good visit with her soon after she was diagnosed, while she was still feeling well, and then another sad visit, right before she died. It's hard to lose a sister, isn't it, Ginny? I'm glad you have the happy-sad memories.

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  23. I'm sorry for your loss. One is never really prepared for a loved one to die.
    I'm glad that you had such a great relationship with your sister.
    Love you, mimi.

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  24. I am sorry for your loss, Mimi.
    I love you.

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  25. Mimi, I am so sorry for your loss. Your poem said so much in so small a space. You are loved by so many. Marilyn

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  26. Lindy, Marilyn, thank you. I love you, too. Everyone is so very kind.

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