Saturday, February 7, 2009

Family Troubles Again

I'm not quite ready to make this news public, but I probably won't be blogging very much for a while, and some of you will worry, so here goes:

My son-in-law told my daughter that he wants a divorce. They told their children last night, and the three boys and my daughter are devastated. They need prayers desperately. He wants out of the marriage. The marriage didn't look made in heaven, but it didn't look that bad either. In less than three years, it appears that the lives of 5 of my grandchildren will be devastated by the separation of their parents, and 2 of my children devastated by being cast off by their spouses. My son and his wife split nearly 3 years ago, and everyone is just about settling down after that, and now another marriage in the family falls apart.

I welcome all prayers and good thoughts for my daughter, my three grandsons, and Grandpère and me. Pray for my son-in-law, too. We will all get through this by faith and with the help, prayers, and support of our family and friends, in our real and virtual lives.

To you, my virtual community, you have, in the past, been a great source of help, strength, and support, and that means more to me than I can say.

UPDATE: Many thanks to all of you! I feel the prayers. Truly, I do. It's an amazing thing!

UPDATE 2: My daughter sounded much better tonight than this morning, but it's going to be a roller-coaster ride for her and the boys.

59 comments:

  1. May the Holy Spirit comfort, protect, and strengthen all of you.

    Pax,
    Doxy

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  2. How sad! All of you are in my prayers.

    Allen

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  3. Mimi, I'm so sorry. This is not an easy situation and is especially tough on the children.
    God bless you all.

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  4. Prayers surrounding you as you walk through these days with your kids and g-kids.

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  5. Love to you (((Mimi and family))) and prayers of strength and support. And what Doxy said.

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  6. Prayers for all concerned down in Louisiana, especially for the children involved.

    What a heart-breaker.

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  7. Prayers for all your loved ones in this difficult time

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  8. This situation brings pain to all concerned. Prayer support from "The Saints"

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  9. This is particularly tragic when children are caught in the middle of it all. I shall keep them all in my thoughts.

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  10. I am so terribly sorry to read this news.
    As has been posted above it's hard on the two divorcing, but doubly so for the children. Prayers for you and the family and extras for the kids.
    Update us as you feel the urge. You are surrounded by love and prayers and sometimes it's just good to let it out - to share the pain.

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  11. So many prayers for all of you... prayers of healing, hope and consolation and for whatever is needed.

    You are held with great love in the hearts of many Mimi and we stand by in your sorrows and in your joys.

    I am simply sorry that it is sorrow today.

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  12. Mimi, I am so sorry to hear of your family's troubles at this time. may God be with all of you as you journey through this. Human and cat prayers will accompany you.

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  13. Sending my love and hugs and assurance of prayers as well, Mimi, for you and yours.

    'Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD.
    Lord, hear my voice!
    Let your ears be attentive
    to the voice of my supplications!' (Psalm 130:1-2).

    Indeed.

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  14. May God shelter you in the folds of the heavanly cloak...

    Prayers for your family at all levels.

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  15. I see this sort of thing everyday at my school. Prayers for all, especially for you Mimi and the children.

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  16. I feel sad and offer my prayer for everyones peace of mind...blessings to you and yours (and remember that often even more blessings comes when one door is closed and the others pop open...really they do).

    Love to all,
    Leonardo

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  17. For both of them...

    When we seem to walk alone, we are not alone because we walk with God even in loneliness.
    When light turns to darkness, we are not helpless, because Christ, the light of the world, shines on us.
    When we go into the wilderness we are not lost because God makes new paths for the wandering feet.
    He knows our frailty, our imperfection, and receives us when we come, offering only our weakness.
    Sorrow and anger and regret, he understands them all and out of them will make all things new.
    It is not anger but resentment that devours love, not repentence but guilt that destroys hope: if we avoid them, what has been good will not perish.
    Put your hand into the hand of God, go forward, lonely, but not alone.
    Raymond Chapman.

    For you Mimi...

    love, intercession and candles lit.

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  18. Came over from the Mad Priest's place... prayers for all. I'm so sorry to hear this news, so sad for everyone concerned.

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  19. Oh, Mimi, I'm so sorry this is happening! How very difficult.

    I do so promise you my prayers in this situation.

    Maybe each of you be strengthened.

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  20. Love, prayers, and shalom to you and your loved ones, dear Mimi.

    -- J

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  21. Very sad, thinking of you and all of yours....

    And I send hopes that your daughter and her spouse will accomplish this transition with grace and respect for each other and their children and for the years they have spent together...it can be done.

    (((Mimi)))

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  22. I'm sorry to hear this news as well. We'll pray for you and your family during these difficult days.

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  23. Ay, Mimi... I am so sorry for all of you.

    Heal the broken
    with the comforting words of God.
    Cheer them gently
    with earthly joys.
    Be merry and laugh
    with the broken
    and carry their secret needs
    in the deepest silence of your heart.

    Mechtild of Magdeburg (1210-80)

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  24. chere, chere Mimi bien aime
    prayers and incense offered here for you all

    with the sure confidence that our Lord is closer than breath to each of you in this 'hard time'

    David@Montreal

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  25. Prayers of love and support for Mimi and all those involved; may Godde's presence comfort you all, guide your actions, and leadyou all to healing and renewed life.

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  26. All of you, thank you, thank you, thank you! I'm overwhelmed by the love that I find here.

    Johnieb, it's good to hear your virtual voice again, my friend.

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  27. Mimi - Just woke up to this bad news. I am so sorry for you and your family. Lots of prayers and thoughts coming from this side of the planet.

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  28. Y'know, Grandmere, I only know you through cyberspace, but I was so sad to read of this development in your family.
    Here's hoping that you and your family continue to feel the warmth, love and support of God's Holy Spirit amidst the difficulty and pain. Never forget the promise that God is with you to the end of the age. Peace.

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  29. Oh, DAMN.

    I think these things are "double hard" on grandparents. You are hurting for your own child AND the grandchildren at the same time. And, it's hard not to be overly polar in these things. Or feel helpless, b/c it's more their thing than yours. But everyone has a stake in it. It's just really hard.

    When my parents got divorced, even at age 28 I was pretty fed up with all the acrimonious behavior on all counts--so much so, I pretty much pulled myself away from everyone in the family except for the holiday "must go's" for two years. It still causes issues.

    I'm prayin'.

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  30. Mimi -- I really thought I had left a message of my prayers but it has disappeared -- message may have gone but prayers have not.

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  31. Sheez. Here we go again, Mimi. Well, we are all still here and even more now, praying once again or still, offering our love and support, willing to listen and, um, probably give advice. We'll try to keep a smile on your face and hope to provide at least some escape from reality occasionally. Keep grinning as it helps and keeps others wondering. Hugs.

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  32. ((((Mimi))))) I am praying too...

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  33. We're all praying, Mimi.

    My parents divorced when I was 14. It wasn't until a few years later that I realized they essentially did everything wrong when it came to the part that included me. So I tend to identify with the kids in these situations. It wasn't until adulthood that I realized that while running off with another woman was a pretty big act of betrayal, that did not mean that my father was a nasty person, and that the plain truth was that my mother was a hard person to live with from the get-go. In a sense, I'll still be dealing with "issues" long after my parents are dead. At the very least, knowing how it happened and feeling the effects killed even the most modest desire I had to ever marry.
    But y'all will need a whole lot of love and probably a little bit of luck. Although, from what I've gathered, your grandchildren are fairly young compared to my age at the time of my parent's divorce, if there's every any advice, counseling, etc. for them, for your children, or for you, don't hesitate to ask me.

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  34. I am so sorry this has happened to your family. Seeing the pain of your children must be doubly hard. Prayers go up for your entire family.

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  35. I'm late, but I'm here, and I'm going to second what Johnieb said.

    ((((((((((Mimi & Grandpère & family))))))))))

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  36. It's late in the day but I imagine that you'll all need prayers for awhile. May all of you be sustained by the prayers of your friends.

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  37. Reading rather late but of course your family have my prayers. I know you will be a rock of support.

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  38. {{{{{{Mimi and family}}}}}

    I am so sorry, I don't know what else to say. Prayers ascending for you all.

    "May the Holy Spirit, the "comfortor" Jesus promised give you strenght and healing in your time of need."

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  39. Thanks again, my friends. The prayers help.

    Caminante, I'm adding Mechtild's prayer to my prayer folder.

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  40. Mimi, so sorry to hear this news. May God give you and your family strength and peace during this ordeal.

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  41. Mimi, I always worry about the children in this situation and I have to say that I am hopeful for them because of you. They need to know that some things don't change and you and GP are that for them. You will always be there, together, for them. Keep that in your heart, too, along with all of our prayers.

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  42. Mimi - My kids were 6 and 4 when I divorced their dad. It was awful. Like having an invasive, disfiguring surgery. They were angry for a long time. That being said, it took about 15 years for the kids to look back and say, as they do to this very day, "I hate to think where we'd be or what our lives would be like if you continued to be married to dad." They love him and they love me, but they see that the misery we were causing ourselves, each other and them was far worse than the actual divorce. And, the kids knew that way before their parents did.

    Just love them, Mimi. Be a strong presence in their lives. Love them through this and they will do the same in return.

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  43. Three years out, I can say that my children have weathered the storm with remarkable grace--thanks in no small measure to my grandmother, who has provided a sense of stability for them through all the changes. I have faith that you will do the same for your grands, Mimi.

    (Credit also goes to my ex, who--whatever his issues with me are--has modeled what it means to be a good divorced parent. We never, EVER talk smack about each other to the children, and we didn't use them as pawns in our divorce to revenge ourselves on the other party.)

    Like Elizabeth's children, my two have acknowledged (without any solicitation from me) that their dad and I weren't happy together---and mine are still only 12 and 8! Kids know...

    I never kid myself that I didn't damage my children by what I did. I have to rest in the knowledge that staying would have been much, much worse for all of us. I have no idea what is going on in your SIL's head--but it is at least possible that he is in a dark and scary place like I was, and that he is leaving to maintain his sanity or save his life. If so, he is actually doing the best thing for his sons, though it doesn't look like it now.

    Prayers continue, dear Mimi. I particularly like the one that Ostrich shared. God DOES make new paths for wandering feet, and we are never alone.

    Love,
    Doxy

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  44. From my time of darkness when my ex divorced me came these words.

    God of Man

    God of man do hear us cry
    Sins of sorrow, separates us by
    Our shell of fear, and flowing tears
    Learn and trust for ears to hear
    Opened wide our hearts are seared
    To hear the love within God’s sighs

    God of Man knows our cry
    From our lips cracked and parched dry
    Desirous of God’s works to caress
    Washing us clean by the great Distress
    From the Cross with arms open wide
    To lay mans tears of sorrow at God’s gracious side

    February 2006

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  45. Catherine in JapanFebruary 8, 2009 at 8:22 AM

    Oh my goodness, my prayers and good wishes are heading your way.

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  46. I dropped by Canterbury Cathedral for you today, lit a candle and said one for all your family and just hope things work out.

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  47. Oh my! What lovely comments. I told my daughter to read the post and comments to see that people around the world are praying for all of us.

    Two Auntees, your poem is a keeper. Thanks for posting it.

    Greg, I light candles, too, when I'm in a church that has them. The light of Christ.

    And yours is from Canterbury!

    My heart is full of gratitude to all of you for your kindness and expressions of love and support.

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  48. Please know my prayers are with your family and you.

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  49. You are all in my prayers at this difficult time

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  50. You are all in my prayers at this difficult time

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  51. Mimi,

    This morning I lit a candle at church, not knowing why I did, just knowing someone needed prayers. Now I know why.

    Your daughter and your grandchildren are lucky to have your loving presence.

    Prayers and hugs for all of you.

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  52. Mimi, sorry I'm so late here.

    I want to send a special shout-out/hug to your daughter: I've been exactly where she is. Without a doubt, the WORST experience in my life, and I didn't have kids. (my analogy: you feel treated like gum your ex is scraping off their shoe).

    Prayers for all---especially for YOU, Mimi. I know you: you're making yourself the Family Anchor, the Still, Calm Center-of-the-Storm, per always. Take care of yourself---that's an order!

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  53. I saw this in the reader the other day and didn't have a chance to comment. But I wanted to let you know that I have been thinking of you and your family.

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  54. Mimi,My thoughts anad prayers are with you and all of the members of your family. This is so very sad.
    Marilyn

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  55. Thanks again, all of you for the love and the prayers. Please continue to pray. The family will need prayers for quite a while.

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