"RELIGION SHOULDN'T BE THIS HARD"

Religion shouldn’t be this hard.

An assembly that exists to help people shouldn’t be so willing to hurt people — by declaring them worthless, unacceptable, undesirable or strangers at the gate.
....

Church should be a safe place — safe to be oneself, safe to make one’s confession, safe to love whoever one feels called to love, safe to imagine more, safe to fail. Instead, church often is a dangerous place, where people feel guarded, self-protective, hemmed in by tradition and expectation, required to obey rules.

Tom Ehrich has served as a priest in the Episcopal Church for 36 years, so I expect he knows a thing or two, though I know of some who have served as pastors even longer, and they still don't understand.  The entire column is excellent, and I highly recommend reading it in its entirety.  Ehrich's website is Morning Walk Media.