If you need a good laugh, try reading through these children's science exam answers...
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
(Brilliant logic - love this!)
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
NB. The kid got an A+ for this answer!
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does 'varicose' mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean Section.'
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.
Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you are eight.
Thanks to Erika.
I don't know whether keeping the milk in the cow would keep it from turning sour, but after a few days you would certainly have a sour cow ;<)
ReplyDeletemany thanks Erika.
ReplyDeleteLoved the answer on the tides, and also the brainium. Excellent.
Bill, Grandpère grew up on a farm, and I've heard the cows when it's time for milking, and they don't like late.
ReplyDeleteI could have done without the thought of dead sheep and canoists being "flirted" from the water to make it safe.
Sadly, Mimi, that one isn't too far out. My younger daughter is preparing for a 35 mile hike on Dartmoor with overnight camping and they're told that when they want to refil their water flasks they have to first walk 100 metres upstream to check there are no dead sheep or other animals in it. I thought it an unneccesary precaution until they actually did find a sheep....
ReplyDeleteI'm glad they also use purification tablets!