Friday, November 30, 2012


Number 8 
Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 7

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 6

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

Number 5

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

Number 4

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.

Number 3

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 2

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now, the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

And The Number 1 Thought 

Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers--what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

- - - and as someone recently said to me:
"Don't worry about old age--it doesn't last that long."

Thanks, double thanks to susan s. for several wonderful laughs.  Eight to be exact.


Murdoch Matthew said...

I count nine.

Grandmère Mimi said...

Well now, Murdoch, if you insist on getting into the math of the thing, you are technically correct. :-)

whiteycat said...

Not concerned with the quantity; the quality is top notch!

Grandmère Mimi said...

My thinking, too, whiteycat. :-)