Number 8
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 7
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 6
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
Number 5
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
Number 4
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.
Number 3
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now, the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
And The Number 1 Thought
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers--what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
- - - and as someone recently said to me:
"Don't worry about old age--it doesn't last that long."
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 7
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 6
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
Number 5
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
Number 4
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.
Number 3
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now, the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
And The Number 1 Thought
Life is like a jar of Jalapeño peppers--what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
- - - and as someone recently said to me:
"Don't worry about old age--it doesn't last that long."
Thanks, double thanks to susan s. for several wonderful laughs. Eight to be exact.
