Saturday, May 18, 2013


A quiet, polite man inherits a foul-mouthed parrot from his brother the sailor.

One day, the constant loud and annoying obscenities get to be too much for him, so the man locks the parrot away in a kitchen cabinet.  When the man finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a fresh stream of vulgarities.  In desperation, the man puts the bird into the freezer.

After a few seconds of clawing and thrashing and yelling, it suddenly gets VERY quiet.

Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, the man opens the freezer door.  The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "I'm so very, very sorry.  I promise I'll never curse again."

The man is astonished.

Then the parrot says, "Oh, by the way, what did the chicken do?"


Paul (A.)


Leonard Clark said...

I loved that, I know, it's my type.

Grandmère Mimi said...

Len, I posted the joke for you - um - at least for your type. :-)

James said...

OK, I'll bite (or should that be "peck"?):

A newly-wed couple came to Jersey for their honeymoon. They stayed in a guest house where the owner had a parrot, and of necessity the parrot lived in the "honeymoon suite". On their first night of marriage together the parrot kept up a running commentary on their attempts at marital consummation, and it put the husband right off his stride...

The same thing happened on the second night, and on the third morning the parrot started making lewd comments about the man's inability to satisfy his wife.

The man went to the owner of the guest house and said he and his wife wouldn't stay another night. The owner said the simplest answer was to put a blanket over the cage while they packed up, to prevent any more upset. This the man did.

Now being honeymooners the couple had managed to acquire a collection of souvenirs, and they couldn't get the suitcase shut...

"Darling", said the wife, "you hold it and I'll get on top".

This doesn't work. "OK, I'll get on top", says the man, "and you hold it steady".

This still doesn't work. "OK", says the wife, "why don't we both get on top?"

There's a muffled squawk from the cage. "Blanket or no blanket", says the parrot, "this I want to see!!"

whiteycat said...

Yea, Paul (A.) ... an oldie but always goodie!

Grandmère Mimi said...

Peck, James. Good one. If I say it's better than Paul (A.)'s, he will never send me another joke. I hope you understand. :-)

Grandmère Mimi said...

Ye olde (but still goode) Paul(A.) joke.

Paul (A.) said...

You can't get out of future jokes quite so easily as that, Mimi.

Grandmère Mimi said...

It was a good try.