Shock Of The Day

I looked in the mirror and saw my mother.

Voice Of Reason

Sometimes I think I should just keep my
opinions to myself, she said, but
someone has got to be the voice of
reason.

From StoryPeople.

Story of a Challenged Senior...

I thought about the 30 year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a Blackberry that played music, took videos, pictures and communicated with Facebook and Twitter.

I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grandkids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife as everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. Seems I have to take my hearing aid out to use it and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-ul-ating" You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then when I would make a right turn instead, it was not good.

When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop.

I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused but I never remember to take them in with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look.


Elmer C. Smith, Ph.D. Pastor

Immanuel Lutheran Church

Thanks to Lisa.

Pink Glove Dance

From a friend of a friend of Paul the BB:

Our daughter-in-law, Emily (MacInnes) Somers, created, directed and choreographed this in Portland last week for her Medline glove division as a fundraiser for breast cancer awareness. This was all her idea to help promote their new pink gloves. I don't know how she got so many employees, doctors and patients to participate, but it started to really catch on and they all had a lot of fun doing it.

When the video gets 1 million hits, Medline will be making a huge contribution to the hospital, as well as offering free mammograms for the community. Please check it out. It's an easy and great way to donate to a wonderful cause, and who hasn't been touched by breast cancer?

Ann Somers

According to Snopes the above paragraph is not true. The statement below is true:

Medline donates a portion of its sales of its Generation Pink gloves to the National Breast Cancer Foundation

Giving them a hit will not get them a donation.

Please click on over and give them a hit.

Tiger's Latest Conquest

ANOTHER ONE??? WILL THE DEPRAVITY NEVER END??????????????

I swore that I would not mention l'affaire le Tigre on my blog, but this photo came in from the irrepressible Doug, and what could I do? I scooped the major media outlets.

Don't blame me. Blame Doug.

"Put Away For Life...Or Put To Death"

From CNN:

As a gay man in Uganda, Frank Mugisha is used to the taunts, the slurs and the daily harassment of neighbors and friends.

But if a new bill proposed in the east African country becomes law, Mugisha could be put away for life, or worse, put to death for having sex with another man.

"Right now, you can't go to places that are crowded, because the mob can attack us or even burn us. We can't walk alone. We are ostracized by relatives. But if this bill passes, it will become impossible for me to live here at all. And that part hurts the most," Mugisha said.

The Anti-Homosexuality Bill features several provisions that human rights groups say would spur a witch hunt of homosexuals in the country:

• Gays and lesbians convicted of having gay sex would be sentenced, at minimum, to life in prison

• People who test positive for HIV may be executed

• Homosexuals who have sex with a minor, or engage in homosexual sex more than once, may also receive the death penalty

• The bill forbids the "promotion of homosexuality," which in effect bans organizations working in HIV and AIDS prevention

• Anyone who knows of homosexual activity taking place but does not report it would risk up to three years in prison

"Who will go to HIV testing if he knows that he will suffer the death sentence?" Elizabeth Mataka, the U.N. Special Envoy on AIDS in Africa, told reporters last week. "The law will drive them away from seeking counseling and testing services."
....

In April, the Observer newspaper published tips to help readers spot homosexuals. And over the summer, the Red Pepper tabloid outed 45 gays and lesbians.
....

In the United States, a coalition of Christian leaders (pdf) released a statement Monday denouncing the bill.

"Regardless of the diverse theological views of our religious traditions regarding the morality of homosexuality, in our churches, communities and families, we seek to embrace our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters as God's children, worthy of respect and love," the statement read.

And this is the bill that our dear leader of the "Anglican Communion", Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams, and his brother archbishop, John Sentamu, Archbishop of York, will not publicly condemn. Perhaps it's worth noting that Abp. Sentamu fled for his life from Uganda, when Idi Amin was president.

Henceforth, when I write "Anglican Communion", I shall use quotes, because I am no longer certain that such an entity exists.

Thanks to Ann for the link.

My Thrill Of The Day From Diane Savino

After seeing the video of Sen. Savino's eloquent and passionate speech in the New York State Senate, I wrote to her expressing my admiration and gratitude. Today, I received the following email:

Dear June,

I am sincerely grateful for your kind words. Marriage Equality will be a reality in New York, as well as the rest of the nation, and it will be through people like you.

Sincerely,
Senator Savino

And through people like you, Sen. Savino.

Take her words to heart, my friends. She speaks truth.

PS: I asked Grandpère if he thought Diane was a babe. He said, "I'll put it this way. I wouldn't kick her out of bed." I am soooo hurt. He did not want me to add the PS to my post, but I did it anyway to get my revenge.

Christmas Joy

“Good news is that I truly outdid myself this year with my Christmas decorations. The bad news is that I had to take him down after two days.

I had people come screaming up to my house. But two things made me take it down. First, the cops advised me that it would cause traffic accidents, as they almost had a wreck when they drove by.

Second, a 55 year old lady grabbed the 75 pound ladder almost killed herself putting it against my house and didn’t realize that it was fake until she climbed to the top (she was not happy). By the way, she was one of the many people who attempted to do that. My yard couldn’t take it either. I have more than a few tire tracks where people literally drove up my yard.”

Thanks to Ann.

"Can Christianity Be Rescued From Christians?"

I know. You're busy. It's six and a half minutes long, but if you have not already seen the video, it's worth a view.

Thanks to John for sending me the link to Frank Schaeffer's website.

Whales

I remember when the whales had
wings, she said. Whatever happened? I
said. It got to be too noisy with all the
airplanes & other stuff, so they flew
into the ocean & never came back. Some
days, she added, I think about going too.


From StoryPeople