The judge does not like 7/7 custody arrangements. Why, I do not know, but that's how it is. To try for more time, he'd have had to go to full trial, and more airing of the dirty linen, and we are all exhausted and not ready for that. I never had my turn on the stand, so all my careful grooming and thoughtful consideration of proper court clothing was for nought.
The court will review the situation in six months to see how everyone is doing. Thank God it's over for now.
This passage from Philippians comes to mind:
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your gentleness be known to everyone. The Lord is near. Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Keep on doing the things that you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you.
Phil. 4:4-9
I'm glad it's over Mimi. And you got all coiffed and nerved up, and didn't even have to speak. Oh well, you know what they say, better to be prepared!
ReplyDelete6/8 isn't too bad, considering. Not perfect, but not too bad.
I'll keep them in my prayers, and you as well!
Mimi---this is excellent news! I don't understand the 6/8 split, but things could have been much worse. I'm glad the children will have some stability---and, I suspect over time your exDIL and your son will learn to be less legalistic about it all. I'll pray for that, anyway.
ReplyDeletePax,
Paige
Mimi,
ReplyDeleteThis is good news! It's tough on the kids, but you and your husband and son can work hard to make it so the children will not be hurt any more by all this.
Clumber
I'm so glad you can at least take a deep breath. There is never any really good solution to those messy situations.
ReplyDeleteI thought of Marie Antoinette style for the court, but I went a little less flamboyant.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, this judge rarely gives the fathers this much time, so we really are blessed to get what we did.
The other judges are worse than this one. They're behind times around here in understanding that children need both parents, unless one of them is absolutely awful.
Now you can all relax a bit, I hope. That must have been uber stressful.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad your son now has more time with his children. Even if it's not a 50/50 split, it's better than it was before.
I'm glad things are calming down for you. The split time isn't optimal, but as you said it's far better than one night here, one night there. A guy at work has a similar arrangement and it seems to work really well.
ReplyDeleteIf it weren't Lent, I'd throw a few "Hallelujahs!" around so let's just pretend I did it (or maybe pretend that it's still Epiphany, ok?) :)
Glad to hear that it has worked out. Everyone else has said all else that i'd say, so i guess that's it from me.
ReplyDeleteYou & yours will remain in my prayers.
Mike and Mumcat, thank you.
ReplyDeleteMumcat, I'm glad you were careful about the you-know-what word. There are fines here for its use during Lent. I got that idea from Elizabeth Kaeton in a comment a while back.
Glad you don't have to go again for 6 months, so now you have time to get yourself together and do some fun things with the kids, eh?
ReplyDeleteContinuing prayers coming your way, Honey.
Hey Gran'mere,
ReplyDeleteGood news that there is a settlement. NOW please remember all of you that there is a lot of adjustment by EVERYONE. I'm sure the kids feel insecure and the adults have a lot of anger to get over. So everybody needs to be extra patient and understanding and consciously forgiving while things settle into place. Once there is some stability, then adjustments will be possible.
My partner and her ex had a "friendly" divorce (no lawyers, just a mediator, and everyone was friends) and there was still a long adjustment while things found a pattern and a routine. That was challenging enough.
GOOD LUCK to all and I hope peace and healing come quickly.
IT, experienced step-parent (we are 3 and 3 with the extra day alternating between Mom nad Dad)
I'm pleased for your son but, as you are my friend, I am really pleased for you. The grandparents are so often ignored in these situations and I assume this will mean you have good and regular contact with your grandchildren.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I would have gone for 13/1 in favour of the ex-wife - but then I have the paternal instincts of a house brick.
May God help you all make this thing work.
Jonathan
still praying for you and your family - glad it is over for you for now, though
ReplyDeleteMimi,
ReplyDeleteWhat more can I add. It's great news, considering what you say about the antedeluvian attitudes of the judges down there.
Allen
My grateful thanks to God that this settlement is over. Now the period of stabilizing and settling in begins. My love and prayers continue for you.
ReplyDeleteThank you all. It is good news, and I thank God and the judge and everyone who prayed for us.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I will have more opportunity to be with our grandchildren in this arrangement, I'm happy to say.
Another small satisfaction - God forgive me - my son was paying the wife $500.00 per month child support, and that will stop. Her salary is a little more than his, so now she will be paying him $26.00 per month. Not much in money, but great in satisfaction. I'm bad aren't I?
I know we all have a way to go in adjusting. My son is doing well, the six-year-old boy is doing pretty well, but my 11-year-old granddaughter is taking it hard. She is full of anger at her mother, but she holds it in and then explodes and takes it out on her little brother. We are exploring counselling for her. Her family was everything to her, but she'll have to learn that not all families look like the typical nuclear family.
MadPriest, 13/1, really.
It's good to hear stories of arrengements that worked well after divorce.
Ome small correctio: my son will collect $126.00 per month in child support, which he will put in an education fund for the children.
ReplyDeleteBlessings! May the heaing begin.
ReplyDeleteAbolutely, KJ, absolutely. I pray it does.
ReplyDeleteOf course I meant "heaLing". I guess if we blog a lot, we should hire people to proof and edit.
ReplyDelete"I never had my turn on the stand, so all my careful grooming and thoughtful consideration of proper court clothing was for nought."
ReplyDeleteI have no doubt that your being there, ready to go to bat for your son, was a factor driving the settlement. Nothing's for nought.
Besides, had you testified, you would have been "blamed" for whatever the outcome was. Much better this way, I think.
Glad it's over for you. It is an ugly business. Necessary, of course, but the law can be such a blunt instrument.
Rick, I am more than happy not to have been called to the stand.
ReplyDeleteNo one on my son's side got a chance to "sling mud", but I believe that the two on the other side gained nothing from their mud-slinging, because the judge saw it for what it was, and shut the process down, and told the two clients and lawyers to sit down and work it out.
It is an ugly business.