My husband and I spent today caring for my two precious grandchildren, the two whose parents are in the middle of a nasty divorce. They slept over last night so they could sleep late, because their father has to be at work early. They are out of school for the whole week, because Tuesday is Mardi Gras, and I suppose their parents need the rest of the week to recover from their hangovers from the revelry. They both attend a Roman Catholic school, so it seems a little strange to me that they begin Lent with a holiday.
My granddaughter, A. is 11, and she is no trouble at all. My grandson, J. is six, and he is an altogether different story. At the beginning of this school year, he was diagnosed with ADHD and put on medication. I'm not one to jump on the bandwagon to medicate kids, but, in his case he needed it. His condition was seriously interfering with his learning. Fortunately the first medication worked well, and the dosage was right from the beginning. He is doing much better in school. Best of all, the medication has not turned him into a zombie, as it seems to do to some children.
Since the meds reduce his appetite, my son keeps him off them on days when he's not in school - today being one of those days. It's fine with me, since he eats better without the meds, and he needs a little fattening up.
He did not want to take a bath this morning, so I said the hell with it and decided to punt the chore to my son to do when he got him home. Somehow, in the way of six-year-old boys, he peed all over himself while he was on the toilet. I said, "Well, now you've got to have a bath." He resisted every step of the way, and the bath was a wrestling match which Mimi won, because I'm bigger. As I was wrestling with him, I was praying and thinking, this is not P., it's the ADHD, and I was able to keep from getting angry with him.
Later, while he was playing outside with my husband, he dropped his pants and pooped right there in the yard, and Grandpère had to come into the house to get toilet paper for him to wipe himself. When he asked him why he had done that, he said, "I had to go bad."
In spite of all this, we have fun times with them. They make us laugh, and maybe keep us young. My granddaughter is a beautiful little girl in appearance and personality. P. is truly a delightful, charming, and bright little boy, but I am 72 years old, and he is a challenge. My heart goes out to these two kids because of what they are going through, and I would lay down my life for them. I feel that caring for them and loving them through this time is what I'm called to do right now. If I die doing it, I will have died doing a good thing.
They've gone home now, and the house is quiet. We'll have them again on Wednesday, and then their mother has them for the rest of the holiday.
Lord, give us strength.
Lord, give you strength and courage and patience and knowledge, Mimi. Prayers and love from here.
ReplyDeleteYou have no idea, no idea at all, how you ministered to these children and provided healing for this family.
ReplyDeleteOh, to have had a grandmother - anyone - who would have taken my shit and allowed me to piss all over myself and didn't pass judgement but simply insisted that I wipe myself and bathe.
Blessed are you among women.
Mimi - I LOL when I read about him pooping in the yard. You see, my son has ADHD...he's 9 1/2 now, but not so far from that age and action. He had a poop accident at my bil's last weekend - for no apparent reason, other than he was too busy doing whatever he was doing.
ReplyDeleteHe wears me down, and I'm 37 - I can't imagine trying to contend with a Jake at 72! Blessings dear one!
I have the most wonderful commenters in the world. Thank all of you, from the bottom of my heart. You renew my soul.
ReplyDeleteOh Mimi,
ReplyDeleteKeep at it... those kids are pretty lucky to have you and your husband in their lives... they need the gift of stability that you give them!
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ReplyDeleteBless you, Mimi. I've worked around ADHD kids, and they are exhausting.
ReplyDeleteWhen they concentrate on something, they concentrate so hard they do ignore everything -- including bodily functions -- until it's too late. It isn't a willful thing, just a side effect.
Other factors can be at work here, too, though. Has your grandson had a thorough physical exam lately?
Grandmeres are a blessing. I adored my grandmother -- I only knew one of them; the other died while I was an infant. Many of my best childhood memories are of those precious times with my Grandma.
Clumber, thanks for the good words. Love and stability is what we're trying to give them.
ReplyDeletePat, he has regular physicals. He has to in order to have the meds prescribed. His mother is a nurse.
My grandmother was wonderful to me, as I was growing up in my dysfunctional family. Her home was a place of refuge when I'd had enough of my own.
Bless you, Grandmère Mimi! i only had the opportunity to know one of my Grandmas, who passed away when i was seven, but the tender love she gave me in the short time we had together is still in my heart, nearly 40 years later.
ReplyDeleteAgain, God bless both you & Grandpère for being so loving with your family's little ones.
Gee, lack of planning and impulsive. Do you really think it's ADHD? :-)
ReplyDeleteI have two nephews, brothers, with ADHD, one quite severe who is now entering adulthood. Fortunately for him, he has parents with the patience of Job.
When "TC" was young, a member of our church told me she didn't believe there was such a thing as ADHD. I suggested that she take TC on a trip to the local mall. She never took me up on that offer.
I had the privilege of attending Seattle Children's Theater productions with him. Since TC would frequently talk out loud to others or actors on stage, my first goal was for him to learn the golden rule of going to the theater: "Let other people watch the play." He loved going to the plays so much, that he quicky mastered that skill.
God bless Grandmére and Grandpére and grant them peace (and patience)!
My grandmother is my inspiration. She loved me unconditionally, almost to a fault. I was a picky eater, and she would prepare special meals just for me, if I didn't like what she had prepared. She was a wonderful Creole cook, and today, I would kill to eat her food - any and all of it.
ReplyDeleteKJ, you've had experience with kids like P. My grandson treats no one as a stranger. He walks up to anyone at all and starts a conversation.
He has gone from a red light for behavior nearly every day to whole weeks with green lights, and only an occasional yellow light. For those of you not in the know about the light system, red is not good.
As I have said, I had my doubts about the medication for children, but I saw the good that it did in this little boy's life.
Thank you kindly, Grace.
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