My daughter sent me what follows in an email. It's more Eileen the heretic's style, but what the hell. The email includes drawings, and since I don't do pictures on my blog, you won't see them. I believe that the words may stand alone. Picture the ladies in the ads from the forties and fifties as you read. Imagination is everything.
Jewelry! Because great sex doesn't last forever!
Damn right I'm good in bed. I can sleep for days.
Moms! They're like dads, only smarter.
Amazingly enough, I don't give a shit.
Drink coffee. Do stupid things faster with more energy.
PMS! Be afraid! Be very afraid!
Men are like coffee. The best ones are rich, warm & can keep you up all night long.
Never underestimate the power of an extremely pissed off woman.
Why do I have to get married? I didn't do anything wrong.
Behind every great woman is a man checking out her ass.
Being unstable & bitchy is all part of my mystique.
Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen.
Marriage! The end of a perfectly good sex life.
Man: "Menopause is a natural part of being a woman." Woman: "Is being stupid a natural part of being a man?"
Life! So much time, so few men!
Moms! Not all superheroes wear capes!
Tequila! Helping women lower their standards for years!
Mothers! Even when they're wrong...they're right!
I haven't had my coffee yet. Don't make me kill you.
I have the pics for this email ready to go for my blog.
ReplyDeleteHYSTERICAL! And totally my kinda thang!
Thanks, Mimi!
I like the ones that say:
ReplyDeleteI childproofed my house...but they still got in!
and...
"Marriage? No thanks--I can't mate in captivity."
Eileen, I will link when you have the pictures.
ReplyDeleteDoxy, keep 'em coming.
Lovely!
ReplyDeleteGoran, I went to your very learned blog, which makes me embarrassed for mine. You speak English quite well.
ReplyDeleteI'm pleased that you appreciated the bit of fluff that I posted. I did it in my giddiness after coming down from my euphoric state of last night.
I don't do pictures on my blog, you won't see them. I believe that the words may stand alone
ReplyDeleteHah!
You just can't be bothered to learn how to import them. And then you have the audacity to claim some great moral high ground over it.
Actually, have you have ever thought about becoming a bishop - you seem to be very well qualified for the job.
Well, look who stumbled in, the MadPriest. Do you realize how much time I spend doing this wee blog, even without pictures? Well, I suppose you do, since yours has pictures, music, talking ballons, and the whole works.
ReplyDeleteI tried to do pictures, but it didn't work out, and I gave up. I am technologically challenged. What moral high ground? I said use your imagination.
Heh. I liked Doxy's quote about childproofing ;)
ReplyDeleteNow I'll add some of my own:
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late."
"Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others." --Oscar Wilde
"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe." --Jimmy Durante.
My wife suggested a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. It's titled, "Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong."
If a man says something in the woods and no woman hears him... is he still wrong?
David, very good, every one.
ReplyDeleteIn answer to your question,"If a man says something in the woods and no woman hears him... is he still wrong?"
Of course he's still wrong.
Dave - Boy, you pretty much left yourself wide open for that one.
ReplyDeleteMy wife actually bought me a t-shirt with that last quote on it ;)
ReplyDeleteAh, David, you have a wise wife!
ReplyDelete