Socksuality

From the The Rev. Canon Tim Smart in the Montreal Anglican.

From washer to dryer to folding, I'm sure we've all experienced the missing sock, the lone sock, only one of a pair.

For many of us, the remedy has been to put the lonely sock quietly away in the dresser drawer and forgot about it; claiming that singleness is now its true vocation.

But for a significant minority, the answer has been not to consign the single sock to the everlasting darkness of the drawer, but to mix their socks: gray with black, brown with beige, blue with navy blue. We now call such people Hetero-socksuals – people who wear different kinds of socks at the same time.
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Most of us have been reared in a culture and a religion which has blessed homo-socksuality as the norm. The idea of people wearing different kinds of socks at the same time has sounded perverse and unbiblical.

In the past, hetero-socksuals had to be discreet. They wore long pants to cover their different socks. They avoided crossing their legs while seated and rarely wore shorts in public.

Please go read the rest of the piece at the site, as I may have already quoted too much. Here is a glossary to help you to better understand the article.

Glossary of Terms:

Homo-socksuals: those who wear the same-socks
Hetero-socksuals: those who wear different kinds of socks
Bi-socksuals: those who will wear same socks, or different socks
A-socksual: those who wear no socks at all.

Thanks to Ann for the tip.