Monday, March 17, 2008

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Here's another of the Irish jokes sent to me by you-know-who, our Doug, of course. Doug is not fictitious, you know. I met him in New York.

An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.

A cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, "where have ya been?"

"Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.

"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening."

"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.

"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight, and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"

"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "for a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."

And since it's the very day when we all join to celebrate the Irish, whether we're Irish or not, here's another:

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary my dear?"

She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."

The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"

She says, "That he did, Father."

The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"

" She says, "He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun..."

Yeah, that one has a little touch of the black humor, doesn't it?

As Doug says, "AND THE BEST FOR LAST!"

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.

The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention, but the drunk continues to sit there.

Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.

The drunk mumbles, "Ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either."

That Doug! He's wicked, isn't he?

Photo by Keith I. Marszalek at


  1. Well, we're both up in the wee hours of St. Patrick's Day. Great picture and joke. Thanks.

  2. Jan, I've got to drag myself away from this damned machine to go to bed. As Grandpère suggests, I believe that I am addicted.

    Doug sends me good ones, doesn't he?

  3. The jokes are good and everything but I think the burning question of the day is... Is that you in the photo? Maybe in your mis-spent youth? Not that I'd know anything about such things.

  4. Those are horrible--in a good way, of course. ;-)

    Happy St. Patrick's Day!

  5. Lindy, it is not I. I did misspend my youth to a degree, spending too much time in lounges and bars, but I was chaste, to a fault. I took the nuns very seriously in their instructions on that subject. Perhaps, I was even scared straight. Ya think? It's hard for me to believe that you didn't do a little misspending yourself.

    Kirstin, they are horrible in the way that all good Irish jokes are horrible.

    Paul, the musical selection is, indeed, the horrible green icing on the cake. Thanks, although it really is awful. Reading and listeing at the same time is nearly overwhelming.

  6. I forwarded this to my friend Kathy and she sent this in response:

    A priest is driving down the road, weaving just a little. A cop sees him and pulls him over. While checking his license and registration, the cop notices an empty bottle of wine rolling around on the floor of passenger side.
    "Father," he frowns. "Is that wine?"
    "Oh, no," the priest assures the cop. "There was nothing but water in there, me boyo."
    "Hm," the cop fishes the bottle up and sniffs it. "Father, there was wine in there!"
    "Saint's preserve us, He's done it again!" the priest exclaims.

  7. Paul, thank you for the addition to the horrible, but funny Irish jokes. Would you believe that my brother-in-law told me this one yesterday? Of course, you would.

  8. Thanks, Mimi.

    You've made my office staff very happy today.

  9. John D, I'm pleased to be of service.

    Did you see my post on Peter Grimes? I did it for you and NancyP, you know. I'm working on "Otello" now. The opera posts require real writing, not just links and quotes - thus, they take a bit longer to appear.

  10. Liam O'Lolz to Doug (and to Paul.)

  11. Mimi,
    I did appreciate your opera review, and sorry to have not commented.

    Several of the people in my office have been attending a great Met Opera outreach program, with simulcast, high quality presentations of Saturday matinee productions screened( for $22) at a few local theaters.There are a handful in Atlanta offering the operas; don't know about NOLA.

    The gang was respectful of Britten, but this isn't an easy work. I'm pleased that you, like my friends, gave it a chance.
    I guess we all really want Rigoletto, or the Magic Flute. I could be in heaven tonight, with either,and more.

    So you are back at home.
    Blessings for Holy Week, my most-beloved time of the year, and best wishes for the Easter to come.

  12. John, blessings to you in Holy
    Week. It's one of my favorite times of the church year, too. I thought I was a little odd with that, but I'm finding more people cropping up who feel the same way.

    I just wanted to be sure that you had read my masterpiece. New Orleans does not have that simulcast Met opera program, at least not that I know of.


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