This week my cleaning lady of 12 years left to take a full-time job. By writing this, I may leave myself open to such thinking as, "Well, so the old bag lost her 'maid'. Am I to shed tears for her?" She was not my "maid", but she was so much more than a cleaning lady to me. She was my friend, my counsellor, and my therapist, and I believe that I returned the favors in some measure. We shared all of the major events of our lives and much of the trivia, too. She knew more about me and my family than all but near relatives.
We worked together. She did the heavy lifting, but I prepared the way for her. You know the old joke about cleaning up ahead of the cleaning lady, well I did that, in a manner of speaking. Our house was cleared and sorted out before she came to work. She had only the cleaning to do with no tidying up required of her. She said I was one of her best clients.
She loved what she did and did her work well and would have wanted to continue, but her husband, who was a butcher for a supermarket chain, was laid off when the chain downsized. He has another job in a privately-owned market, but no benefits come with the job. Their private health insurance premiums increased beyond what they could afford, so she is taking a job that provides health insurance.
I wish her well in her new job, but I will miss her terribly. I'll look for someone to replace her, because our house is too large for me to do on my own, and Grandpère won't move to a smaller house. I know that I will never find another like her. We both shed more than a few tears on her last day. We'll see each other, of course, but it won't be the same. Each Tuesday, I looked forward to her coming, and now she is gone.
Mimi, I understand completely. We've had this wonderful Brazilian woman named Linda who has come to clean our house for the past 10 years. When she arrives on Friday morning, the first thing we do is sit down and have a cup of tea together and catch up on all the news from the previous week. I've been to her daughter's HS graduation and attended her grandchildren's baptisms. She is part of our family. Her husband recently divorced her and we worked our way through that together. We also worked through some immigration stuff a few years back. She is a wonderful listener and has often been my confessor. I would be devastated if she had to leave. Prayers ascend.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth, you understand! Thanks so much for your comment.
ReplyDeleteWhen I moved to LA in 1998 I hired my first cleaning lady and had a similar relationship.
ReplyDeleteFrequently I was not around when she got there, but we would leave notes for one another.
She came every other week and she always left me little gifts- trinkets and so forth and notes filled with great affection.
Just around the time that I was leaving LA in 2000, she decided to move away to live with her daughter in another state. I still think of her all the time. The email address that she gave me never worked and I wish I could track her down.
So I totally hear you; even though we only had two years, our hearts were connected.
So sorry about the fact that your friend had to get another job and why she had to get another job.
Joy was my first housekeeper. She was just like her name, and she went through my first pregnancy with me. I was so sad when we left Nashville and had to leave her behind! I still think of her often...
ReplyDeleteIf Grandpere won't move to a smaller house, tell him that HE has to help clean! Grrrr.
Fran and Doxy, you understand, too. There was such a bond between us, and I loved the regularity of her time with us.
ReplyDeleteDoxy, Grandpère does help. We could manage if I could vacuum and mop, but my back gives me hell with either activity. We pretty much leave the upstairs alone, except for a cleaning every couple of months or when company is coming, so it's just the downstairs that requires the work.
And GP does ALL the cooking, plus the garden and yard.
A new cleaning lady is coming on Monday after 5 years of being without one. She is from Mexico and speaks no English. I have promised to teach her English as a part of her work since people in her country taught me Spanish when I was young.
ReplyDeleteI want her to be as good an immigrant as were my grandparents--having the chance to make a living here when others won't do the kind of work that they are doing.
Mimi, I love the sense of extended family you mean, I hope you will be able to find someone new that you will be able to adopt into your family.
(((Mimi)))
ReplyDeleteI've never had a cleaning lady. but I hear your sorrow about your relationship.
ReplyDeleteWe have this wonderful woman from Guatemala named Daisi who comes once or twice a week (three times if Sandi is away as I'm not trusted to do the vacuuming!!!) Her English is coming on, she has rented rooms in the neighbourhood, drives a smart red SUV and is always smiling!
ReplyDeleteAfter three years she is very much a part of the family. She makes a big fuss of the dogs, and they her, and sometimes brings little gifts for Kate. She is an absolute treasure, and I hope she can stay. We will do anything to help her with paperwork.
Cleaning ladies rock! Mine was absolutely like a member of my extended family. I will miss her quite a lot.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for your loss Mimi.
ReplyDeleteMe too, Lindy. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteDear Mimi, this is Maya Pavlova. I am writing this as my human Jane has been a little overwhelmed with kiddies in crisis at the Academic Funny Farm. We are very sorry your nice human helper has had to leave. I myself, being a cat, would never do such helping things since I am the one who must be worshipped and served, but I do understand. My human hired a nice student to clean my house but she only lasted a few weeks because she "was busy." What is "busy"? What is this "school"? I wish my human would get a helper for all the time. Kidlets are nice but they have Moods. I am sorry you lost your friend and she cannot come to see you any more. We send you our love, dear Mimi. Peace and purrs to you -- Maya Pavlova, Reigning Feline. P.S. What is "Sazerac"? My human keeps mumbling about how she wants one. Is that a kind of household helper?
ReplyDeleteMaya Pavlova! What an honor to have a visit AND a comment from you. Poor Jane. You must be patient with her Maya. Compared to yours, her life is hard.
ReplyDelete"Busy" is, very likely, something that you will never truly understand. The closest you will come is batting your toy around the floor and chasing after it. "School" is where humans go to get smart, but it doesn't always work out that way. Cats, on the other hand, are born smart and don't need schooling. A Sazerac is sometimes an excellent household helper. It helps you forget how much help your household needs.
I hope I've answered your questions satisfactorily, Maya. Do visit me again.
Oh, Mimi, you give great answers. I like visiting you. I am having a nap now but there is a picture of me over at human Jane's. Come visit us any time.
ReplyDeleteP.S. That was me, Maya Pavlova. Jane is reading something theological in the living room.
ReplyDelete--Maya P.