From Barkings Of An Old Dog:
After late night negotiations last evening with The Most Reverend Katharine Jefferts Schori, it can now be announced that Clumber has humbly accepted the position of Bishop of Pittsburgh, starting today. In what can only be called an unprecedented move, your loyal and honorable canine servant will begin the office after his official election at a special diocesan convention, to be held this Saturday.
What a surprise! But Clumber looks great in the mitre, don't you think?
Jefferts Schori concedes that this is a bit of a trial appointment, but assures the faithful of Pittsburgh that Clumber has a handful of attributes that should prove popular with the people of the Pennsylvania region. She points out that he is
1. housebroken
2. faithful to The Episcopal Church
3. enthusiastic
4. heels on command.
It seems to me that it's worth a try.
"Housebroken." Lord, do you think they even make adult diapers in the sizes of some of those secessionist bishops?
ReplyDeleteI think it is enthusiastic that really nails it...
ReplyDeleteLapin and Fran, what nails it for me, is that Clumber looks so damned good in the mitre.
ReplyDeleteIt's an early fifteenth c German mitre embroidered with the Annunciation (silk & pearls), so it should look good. Clumber's head seems to be a bit big for it, tho, which is why the headband's pulled out. Hope it doesn't split.
ReplyDeleteYou are a most disgusting individual.
ReplyDeleteYour desecration of religious objects is unforgivable.
It is our hope that you are excommunicated as your type is not wanted in OUR church.
Really such a trashy thing to do have you no respect for the church?
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ReplyDeleteBrig, do you find that personal attacks are the best way to go to make your case?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, you're not God, and it's not your church; it's God's church, and, so far as I know, it's not in your power to excommunicate me, however much you would wish that to be the case.
Peace to you.
Tell you what, Brig - try this one for size.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.worth1000.com/entries/36000/36248pavl_w.jpg
Well brig, I'm going to need your address to send the bill to you for cleaning off my screen and keyboard of the tea I just spit all over the place as I laughed at your post!
ReplyDeleteSometimes humor is planned, purposefully done, other times it just gets thrown over the transom into your lap. You really ought to get out into the bloglands a little more and find out all the sinful stuff going on out here! I honestly did not put the hat on a dog and take a picture. You do understand that, right? And I dare say that many of the people who have worn these things have done far worse things in their lives to desecrate religion.
I have great respect for the church, just little respect for asshats.
Clumber, you do realize this is all your fault. I should know better than to associate with naughty old dogs
ReplyDeletebrig worships mitres? What denomination is that? Or is it dogs?
ReplyDeleteI would disassociate myself with the cowardly anonymous comments made by "Brig" (private profile indeed - in the Christian community?) but I must register my concerns at such an enthronement.
ReplyDeleteClumper's persistent desire to climb up onto the legs of diocesan members; his gripping those legs with his front paws and his resultant humping - let's just say that Diocesan Convention need to examine this behaviour very carefully. Does the new Bishop select men, or women, or both? The answer must be carefully considered, as I fear such a Bishop could invite schism.
Now hold it right there, rural rector! You can't prove I've ever done that! Surely you are confusing me with some mutt from the Southern Cone! I've been faithful to Mrs. Clumber for years and years and years.
ReplyDeletePiskie, RR, you both raise serious questions.
ReplyDeleteRR, please, Clumber, Clumber.
I think Clumber is far more dashing than many of the other blokes in mitres.
ReplyDeleteBristling Rigid Irascible Grump must not understand the concept of satire, which is a great pity. If Brig wants to ponder desecration of religious objects, the placing of pointy hats on asshats should provide ample material--as others have already indicated.
Bristling Rigid Irascible Grump
ReplyDeletePaul, excellent.
I'm not big on bishops personally, but I will say that Clumber looks good in that!
ReplyDeleteI would think the attribute Jefferts Schori would most appreciate would be "heels on command." He would be about the only Bishop in the whole of the Anglican Communion with that particular attribute.
ReplyDeleteScout, you know fine looking dog when you see one. I believe that you and Clumber are already blog friends, aren't you? The mitre is just the right touch.
ReplyDeleteBoocat, you're right about that.
".... the only Bishop in the whole of the Anglican Communion with that particular attribute." Not so sure about that Boocat. The entire Nigerian bench of bishops, with the notable exception of their primate, is clearly exceedingly good at heeling on command. I suspect that they'd damned well better be.
ReplyDeleteThe trolls really are over the top in the past 24 hours (witness some of the comments chez Jake). Did they miss April Fools or something? Cheez. And ad muleriam attacks no less! Or is it ad caniniem (my Latin is rusty)?
ReplyDeleteCaminante, ad caniniem sounds fine to me. However, I'm weak in Latin, so OCICBW.
ReplyDelete"A most disgusting individual..."
ReplyDeleteWell, considering the unamusing source of that comment I'd consider it high praise, high praise indeed.
You totally rock you disgusting individual. I'm loving you today!
Now I have to get this off the screen before Rowan sees it. You know he'll want to be a bishop too and I don't have a spare early fifteenth c German mitre embroidered with the Annunciation (silk & pearls)mitre laying around for him to chew on... er, I mean wear.
I'm off to desecrate something now.
Lindy
I don't have much time for blogging today because I have to get down to the store for SmartPets to see if they have an early fifteenth c German mitre embroidered with the Annunciation (silk & pearls). I've just got to have one of my own!
ReplyDeleteI'll see if I can crochet one .... but as I have three dogs, they will have to compete for it!
ReplyDeleteActually, this is one of my funniest posts and comment threads, and I had nothing to do with any of it. As wise old Clumber said, it was all thrown over the transom and landed in my lap.
ReplyDeleteLet me know if y'all locate the mitres for sale. Diana wants one now.
Judith, you can't crochet just one mitre. There could be lots of money involved here.
Did I ever show you my Pirelli mitre, Mimi? Too large for dogs, I'm afraid, or Rowan would be welcome to borrow it when needed.
ReplyDeletehttp://farm1.static.flickr.com/184/479125469_e3b0d925ce_b.jpg
I think we should all show up for Sunday services wearing our new miters. Truly, if we organized, we could put an end to the idiocy in this church.
ReplyDeleteAnd church would be more fun if we brought our dogs and their miters too. Imagine going forward to receive communion in all three kinds: The bread, the wine, and the dog treat!
Lindy, good idea. Or, since we're brain-storming, on pet blessing day, we could have all our pets wearing mitres, with even the birds and the gerbils dressed in their tiny mitres.
ReplyDeleteWe can ask the Lovely Mona at Padre Mickey's for advice on making the tiny ones.
Not sure about that, Mimi. Seems to me there's just a hint too much of the old "capeau noir" joke about Padre Mickey's mitres for them to be entirely decent wearing for humans.
ReplyDeleteLapin, this would be for pets, not humans. Maybe they don't know the French joke. The only reason I know about it is thanks to you. It surely didn't show up in any of my French classes.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/87/4745.html
ReplyDelete