Monday, May 5, 2008

Paul And Mimi


Paul looking handsome and Mimi looking like a deer in the headlights.

Paul, the Byzigenous Buddhapalian, who lives in Albuquerque, is working in New Orleans for a month or two, but poor baby, he is working such long hours, that he won't have much time to whoop it up and party in New Orleans. This weekend seemed to be the only time we could squeeze a meeting into his busy schedule. Since his birthday is on May 8, we made it an early birthday celebration, too.

Last night, Grandpère and I made our way through the highways and the byways of Jefferson Parish to pick up Paul to go to dinner, and we only made one wrong turn, finding his apartment rather uneventfully, since he had given us very good directions. After our last encounter with another vehicle by our vehicle, I said that Grandpère would not be driving my car in New Orleans. However, because of my knee problem, we had no choice but for him to drive, since it's my driving knee that is hurting. (My knee is, by the way, much better, although not back to normal, yet.)

Paul is TALL. I had no idea. His photo on his gravatar is ten years old, but he looks pretty much the same, except that he's a bit thinner in the old picture. We drove on to the restaurant, Andrea's, which serves northern Italian food, which was not far away with the only usual amount of bickering between GP and me. Either I don't give good directions, or GP doesn't follow directions well.

Paul is quite the gentleman, doing all the polite things that GP has long ceased to do, if he ever did them, (I can't remember) like opening car doors and holding the chair in the restaurant. Paul is handsome, charming, and funny. We had a lovely dinner with wine, dessert, and what I thought was good conversation. But once we'd dropped Paul off at his apartment, GP said I had talked too much and monopolized the conversation. At least, he didn't embarrass me by saying that in front of Paul. If I did that, Paul, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.

Paul is so classy. The proprietor and chef came to our table to greet us, and Paul spoke to him in Italian, and then they had a brief conversation in Italian. He's classy all around. How lovely to meet him in real life after our internet acquaintance. GP is still mystified by blogging and a little spooked by my hooking up with folks that I meet on the internet. Once we were in the restaurant, I asked GP, "OK, is this scary? Are you afraid of Paul?" He admitted that he was not, even though Paul is much bigger.

On the way home, GP and I sort of lost it with the bickering about driving and directions. There was poor Paul in the back seat, taking it all in. At one point, I turned to him and asked him, "Can you believe that this marriage has lasted 46 years? Can this marriage be saved?" I made him PROMISE not to reveal how much like the Bickersons we really are. We lost our way and had to do some doubling back to get Paul back to his place, but we finally made it there and dropped him off. He gave us directions for getting out of the huge apartment complex, but we found the gate he directed us to locked, so we circled and circled around trying to find our way out of the place, where all the buildings looked alike, and finally, finally we did. We were on our way back to Thibodaux, with only one wrong turn. Folks, I tell you, we are directionally challenged, pitiful, damned near hopeless. It's a wonder we have made our way through life.

The picture came out red. I believe that the lighting in the restaurant was reddish. If any of my PhotoShopping pals can copy the picture, fix it, and email it back to me, I will post it.

I seem to have succeeded in making it better myself. Yay!

42 comments:

  1. Yes, he is pretty gorgeous! Tall you say? That's always good. I'm glad you got to meet him in the flesh, as it were. He sounds like a real doll!

    I know how you feel about others talking about your being the Bickersons! My husband and I do that a lot(bicker, that is). Our ex-daughter-in-law couldn't be around us for long. She wanted everything to be hunky dory and we have never been that way at all. She would pull a pout if we didn't behave.

    I am confident, however, that we are not the reason for their divorce!

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  2. I am confident, however, that we are not the reason for their divorce!

    Susan, LOL. I'm confident that GP and I are not the cause of my son's divorce, either. We are two very different people, and folks wonder how we ever got together and stayed together.

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  3. Mimi -- We could make a new club of "people who have lunched with PAul" -- yes, tall indeed. Fortunately we were only blocks for our (Albuquerque) house and Paul had his own car so he had no chance to witness what I refer to a "gentle guidance" regarding directions.

    OT -- William Kristol in the NYT today suggests Jindal as a VP candidate with McCain -- and speaks of his depth of experience!!! My only thought was that you would have a fit!! (don't have a fit, Mimi)

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  4. What a marvelous picture of the two of you.

    {How long, I wonder, before it gets photoshopped?}

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  5. Persistence, and commitment, perhaps?

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  6. SusanKay, let's form a club!

    Yes, I've heard that about Jindal, too. What I think he really wants, and what he thinks he might get, is to give the keynote speech at the Republican Convention. If he was McCain's running mate, it would get him out of the state.

    His depth of experience! What a joke! More like an empty suit. No, I promise. No fits.

    Lapin, thanks for the compliment. Photoshopped? Ya think?

    Susan, persistence and committment might enter into the equation.

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  7. Folks, Mimi and Grandpère are a charming couple and it was a total delight to meet them. It was a very pleasant evening and a real treat to begin the natal festivities with them.

    A thousand thanks to both of you for making the time and taking the trouble to schlep all the way in for this. I am very grateful.

    I feel so much less "left out" after meeting susankay and Mimi. Which means I must confess that I was a very sickly shade of green with envy over the NYC meet-up, pouting all by myself in the high grasslands of New Mexico. Much better now that I feel more like one of the cool kids.

    I purchased a device for downloading photos on the way home this evening. With a little luck (St Isidore, pray for me) I may get a photo up (if it turned out all right).

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  8. Paul, the pleasure was all ours. It was great to meet you.

    How could you not be a cool kid? You are the very essence of coolness. GP said that you were a classy and cultivated guy, and he's not given to such effusiveness.

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  9. Alas, the device I picked up is not the right one for my camera disk.

    And yes, the restaurant has a very rich red-toned decor with muted light.

    Grandmère is a very elegant lady and this photo does not do her justice. And yes, the secret is out; I use an old photo that looks the way I want to think I still look.

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  10. I am so jealous you met Paul! I'm glad you had a good time. I'm also jealous he met you! You can monopolize the conversation any time.

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  11. It sounds like great fun! So glad you had a good time.

    And yes, Paul is waaaay classy. (I knew him IRL before our paths crossed again in the blogosphere.) In fact, he looks even more classy now, from the picture. Maybe it's your influence, GM, or perhaps that move to NM away from crazy CA did it. Okay, enough with the abbreviations. Good night and big Southern hugs all around!

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  12. P.S. Mimi -- I once (not that long ago, maybe a few years) asked my parents "Why do you bicker so much over small things? Why are your power struggles over trivia?" My mother replied (this may not have been her exact words) "Darling, we agree about all the major things in life, so that's what's left!" Which is true -- they vote the same way, have the same values, are spiritually in sync, so what's left for arguments? (You will say "why argue?" but they are both strong personalities, although one is a raging extrovert and the other a deep introvert -- so maybe folk just gotta bicker.) Anyway, it sounds to me as if Paul thought you were both, individually and together, delightful people. I look forward to meeting you in Louisiana as soon as I find an excuse to get down there!

    As for Bobby Jindal as VP, oy!

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  13. how much fun! Now I'm the jealous one...

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  14. Oh Paul... of course you're one of the cool kids. Everybody thinks so.

    This was a delightful post Mimi. And I loved the photo. Paul is handsome and you... I can see why the lesbians can't help themselves. Or, maybe it's the eyes of this beholder. In any event, I think you are both beautiful.

    Loving all you cool kids!

    Lindy

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  15. Ah, marital bickering. I had almost forgotten about it, living away from my better half for so much of the past four years. I can hardly wait to get back home next week and resume normal married life, which consists mostly of friction over trivia. Married life is where the rubber meets the road, folks. Where finitude can be experienced in its infinite variety.

    Great report, Mimi. I too am in awe of you cool kids and can only hope to meet you someday.

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  16. Hubba hubba- that there is one dreamy guy.

    And since I have had the honor and the pleasure to have met you dear Grandmere, I already know about that part... and you are pure delight.

    As for the bickering- hold up... are we not supposed to bicker?

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  17. I am definitely jealous. Paul is gorgeous, highly articulate, and compassionate. What more could you ask in a man?

    Speaking of which...Mimi, you need to do some matchmaking while he's down there! Surely you have some cultured gentleman friend who would appreciate our Paul's many attributes?

    Can't go with you guys on the bickering thing. I hate it. Always have. It makes me so horribly uncomfortable---I always end up feeling that I have to be the referee...which is taking on far too much responsibility, I know. But I can't seem to help it.

    Jane may be on to something with her explanation, but I'm curious---why do the rest of you do it?

    My best friend from high school is in the Bickering Marriage from Hell. The problem for her is that she must ALWAYS be right---or at least more "right" than he is. If he says the sky is blue, she will correct him and say "No it's not! It's AZURE."

    And she wonders why I no longer come to visit...

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  18. Diane and Jan, I thought I had responded to you last night, but my comment is not here. It was a lovely evening. Diane, thanks. I am something of a talker.

    Jane, I doubt that I had anything to do with Paul's "improvement". A few hours together simply could not have that much influence.

    So, Jane your parents do it, too. GP and I communicate in very different ways, and our bickering comes more from misunderstandings than anything else and happens most often in giving directions and listening and that sort of thing.

    Dennis, you should be jealous. We passed a good time. Laissez les bons temps rouler! In truth, it was rather a quiet evening, but most enjoyable.

    Lindy, you make me blush, my friend! Love you back.

    Mary Clara, I hope that one day we will meet. Hmm. Another bickering couple. That makes me feel a little better.

    Fran, do I talk too much? And you and Mr HeIs bicker, too? You started early. I guess we did, too - from the get-go.

    ...why do the rest of you do it?

    Doxy, he doesn't listen! He's ADD. What do I do? Get a bludgeon?

    Our minds work quite differently. I make quick connections that he doesn't follow, and I assume that he does, so I don't say enough in actual words to get my meaning across. And then, he's not a good listener. He does have to be pounded sometimes to get a point across. It's a little crazy, I know

    I supposed that somewhere along the way, we could have got counseling in communicating better. I understand that our bickering can be unnerving to those around us. Our children shake their heads at us sometimes.

    One thing I'll say for it is that there are no unresolved hostile undercurrents in the air. It's all hanging out. My parents went for days without talking to each other. I hated that.

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  19. Doxy, I don't know about the matchmaking. That can be more dangerous than bickering.

    I hope that I don't always have to be right, but in a driving situation, something goes really wrong on both sides. I'm always looking ahead and around and planning ahead, and he is distracted and not listening. In the end, we miss the turn.

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  20. Mimi- rather than saying you talk a lot or admitting that I talk a lot, lets just say that you and I are lively conversationalists! Does that sound fair?

    I think I must have talked Diane and John's (her husband) ears off that day in NY.

    You and I just leapt into the talking fast lane and stayed there!!!

    As for Mr He Is and me... remember, that I first met him when we were 19. Despite our hiatus, we have the comfort and the bickering of long timers!!

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  21. I remember that other encounter. ;)

    I'm so glad you had a good time. (Of course you did.) And that's a great picture.

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  22. Fran, it's official! We are "lively conversationalists"! I should put that on my sidebar, so that my virtual friends won't be shocked when we meet up in real life.

    I remember that other encounter. ;)

    Kirstin, meetings with us are usually memorable - in one way or another.

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  23. What do I do? Get a bludgeon?

    Works for me... ;-)

    One thing I'll say for it is that there are no unresolved hostile undercurrents in the air.

    Yes...those Undercurrents of Hostility are a bitch.

    Ahem.

    (Am I allowed to say that here?)

    Since you are going on 47 years of marriage, and I'm the "serial divorcee," (thanks Missy!) I'm hardly in a position to give relationship advice, though, am I? ;-)

    When I finally come to visit you and Grandpere, I'll just have a big glass of wine or a margarita first, and then the bickering won't bother me.

    Or, conversely, I'll skip the alcohol and *I'll* drive. Voila! Problem solved.

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  24. (Am I allowed to say that here?)

    Doxy, sure you can say bitch. I say worse here.

    When I finally come to visit you and Grandpere, I'll just have a big glass of wine or a margarita first, and then the bickering won't bother me.

    My children say that drinking helps. Or having you do the driving would be great. Having anyone else do the driving is always great.

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  25. Mimi--as I get terrible motion sickness, I am always game to drive. I've even driven in New Orleans, though it was many years ago, when I was much younger and my eyesight was better...

    But now, to take the place of good eyesight or a sense of direction, I can just rent a car with GPS!

    Hey, Mimi---*there's* your solution! Go to your local Big Box music/stereo store and get a GPS system for your car. You can program it to talk in a soothing, but sexy, female voice that Grandpere will undoubtedly find pleasing. It will tell him exactly when and where to turn. :-)

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  26. Hopefully I will get to meet Paul next month when Executive Council lands in Albuquerque. Vamos a ver.

    Somehow we need to get a gathering in Boston or Albany... either is only three hours away rather than the five it takes to get to NYC.

    Dream on.

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  27. "...he's a bit thinner in the old picture."

    Of course, this can not be said about the rest of us. ;-)

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  28. Doxy, I don't know. That sexy female voice could prove to be a distraction, rather than a help. He might still miss the turn, because his mind would, you know, be on "other things".

    Caminante, I hope that you and Paul do get to meet. I'm still insanely jealous that you got to meet Padre Mickey and the Lovely Mona.

    KJ, ten years ago, I freely acknowledge that it could have been said about me. But surely not you. Surely, you are as svelte now as you were then.

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  29. I think that Doxy has given sage advice about getting a GPS. I have heard that it can be an aid to domestic harmony since the instructions are non-judgemental (even if you make a wrong turn) and never start with "Why on earth didn't you turn left as I told you to!" Or "Are you trying to ignore me?"

    BJ

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  30. Mimi---you can choose a male voice too.

    The key is that both of your options are soothing, and---as BJ notes---they never say "I told you so!" ;-)

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  31. Mimi and friends, I have had a rollicking good time reading this comment thread.

    Caminante, lo siente tanto, querida, but I'm slated to be here in NOLA the weekend the EC is in ABQ. I had put it on my calendar the day I learned from Brian Taylor that y'all were coming to town and I was more eager to meet you and Mark Harris than to meet the PB herself. Alas, if I WERE going to be in town that day, I was slated to preach and preside at San Gabriel while everyone else is partying down. - though I still hoped to get around somehow and meet folks at a coffee hour or something. As the newbie in town my seniority in DRG sucks.

    I should be blushing furiously after all the nice things said here. Since dogs and little children usually respond favorably to me (most of the time), I suppose y'all are right and I must be as fabulous as I am in my dreams, if not so slender.

    Doxy, dear, how sweet of your inner yenta to come out while I am in Louisiana. I don't want to move again in my life, ever, so a long-distance romance might not be a wise idea, but I did spend some time with a gentleman from BR on Saturday, so try not to worry. Not wishing to startle the horses, or GP, I discreetly said nothing of this lest my outer slut and Mimi's inner trollop get into serious trouble.

    Mimi is a fine-looking woman. I can see why she drives my lesbian sisters to distraction.

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  32. Paul, dear--I cannot help my matchmaking soul. You are far too dear and attractive to sit out in the desert by yourself...

    a long-distance romance might not be a wise idea

    I put almost 400 miles a week on my car to get to my Dear Friend, and I count every mile a blessing. (He only gets one day a week off, so it makes more sense for me to do the driving---more time together!)

    Long-distance relationships have their challenges, but when you find The One, what other choice have you?

    So be careful, my friend---these blessings tend to drop in our laps when they are least convenient. I used to know a costume designer from BR, and if he was representative of the men down there, you may already be in trouble... ;-)

    Much love,
    Doxy

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  33. Great story Mimi and great picture too.

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  34. All Right! All right, everyone! We'll look into GPS.

    Paul, it is a fun thread, isn't it? Of course, we ALL love you. I'll let you and Doxy work out whether you have a long distance romance.

    Boaz, thanks.

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  35. "Caminante, lo siente tanto, querida, but I'm slated to be here in NOLA the weekend the EC is in ABQ."


    CARUMBA. What a bummer.

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  36. HEEE!

    Bickering, GPS, Matching Making, Gallant, Gorgeous Men...

    MIMI has ALL the frickin' fun!

    Glad you had such an enjoyable evening..but I'll join Dennis in the jealous corner...

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  37. Doxy wrote, "The problem for her is that she must ALWAYS be right---or at least more "right" than he is. If he says the sky is blue, she will correct him and say 'No it's not! It's AZURE.' "

    ::looks confused:: You know my wife ?!?

    ::rimshot::

    Seriously, I'm with Doxy on the bickering. Purely can't stand it if it's not obviously harmless & good natured. And like I implied above, I live with someone who, errr... likes to be right. All. the. time.

    Oh, and I literally laughed out loud at Paul's comment about Doxy's "inner yenta" :D

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  38. Eileen, it was fun. All of you should be jealous, because Paul is a lovely man. I wish I could read his secret thoughts about GP and me.

    David, I am definitely telling your wife about this!

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  39. Well, Doxy, when the great love of my life and I split up I did have the requisite fling to get over the recent past and it was long distance and I horrified all my friends. Does Bay Area to Cleveland qualify as long-distance? I thought so. It was brief but my emotions were in overdrive. I wrote over thirty poems in four months. I flew across the country. I mooned (in the old-fashioned sense where one keeps one's clothes on), I pined, I swooned, I crashed and burned. But it did bring me back to life.

    I am currently in the mode of being open to what happens. But I am not seeking. The first year of living alone (at age 56) was hell. Then I got to like it. Now I love it. I love spending most of my time in silence. I relish doing most of my negotiation with just myself. I am extremely reluctant to share my space. And I have always been eccentric (quelle surprise!) Anything is possible. I know that I am very vulnerable to anyone who (1) has a great, relaxed, and frequent smile, (2) and can look at me adoringly. After that would have to come intelligence, spirituality, shared values, and some very incarnational chemistry. (Must I confess I like them 20 years younger? Yes, I must.)

    Mimi, I think you and GP are charming and a hoot to observe, though I think you and he will both be happier when your knee mends and you can navigate AND drive in NOLA.

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  40. Ooooh. Here be Paul telling all his secrets way down in the comments.

    20 years younger. Hmmm.

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  41. Well, if Doxy's on the lookout for me, she needs guidelines. LOL

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