Cowboy @ The Pearly Gates

A Texas cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly gates. 'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?' St Peter asked.

'Well, I can think of one thing,' the cowboy offered. 'Once, on a trip to the Black Hills in South Dakota , I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker, smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground.' I yelled, 'Now back off!! Or I'll kick the sh*t out of all of you!!'

St. Peter was impressed, 'When did this happen?'

'Just a couple of minutes ago!'

It's Doug again. And don't tell me this story is not true.

For good measure, I'll make this one a double.

When I got home last night, my wife said that she had a tough day
with the kids, and demanded that I take her out to some place
expensive.

So I took her to a gas station!