Wednesday, August 20, 2008

My Correspondence With Fr. Christian Troll

Imagine the thrill when I received a message that Fr. Christian Troll wanted to be my Facebook friend. So a-twitter with excitement was I, that I forgot my place as a woman, and thus an inferior person in every way, and mentioned to him that he had not answered a question that I sent in to his "Ask Fr. Christian!" feature on his GAFCON blog. Our correspondence at Facebook follows:

June Butler
Today at 8:52am
Fr Christian, I sent you a question weeks ago, and you never answered.

Christian Troll
Today at 9:45pm
My aplogies Madame Mimi - and I trust you understand how contrary it is to my principles to apologize for anything.

I'd like to claim I was simply following the traditional clergy tradition of ignoring pretty much everything others say to one, but the truth is my answer to your heartfelt cry concerning the complexity of wanting to be both banned from the next GAFCON soiree and attending in order to report and and partake of whatever largesse Big Pete has wrangled out wealthier dioceses was half completed and then sidelined in the wake of current events, until being eventually overlooked entirely.

Pending something really funny - like Martyn Minns being caught having a full-body wax - my oversight shall be redressed in the next 24 hours.

Now I pray, oh mystic enchantress, please don't follow through on any voodoo curses, and if you must insert pins in that cursed little effigy I kjnow you have of me, please drive them in s-l-o-w-l-y so that the blissful agony might be prolonged.

June Butler
Today at 10:41pm
Fr Christian, I know this is private correspondence, but it's of such excellence that the wider world should see it. It's presumptuous of me to ask, but would you consider allowing me to post it on my humble blog, with full credit to you for its excellence, of course, and a link to your blog? It would fit in nicely, if you really do post my question and your answer - that is, if there's no late-breaking hilarity that you feel you must cover.

I shall even correct your one small typo, knowing your insistence on perfection.

Christian Troll
Today at 10:52pm
My Dear Daughter of Eve:

I should be honored if you felt guided to share my sweet nothings with the broader world frequenting your place of residence. Doubtless they might be edified, and, dare I hope, brought to their knees in repentance.

You can tell them that the typo was undoubtedly the result of my experiencing a spiritual atack of such magnitude that a lesser man would felled instantly.

I intend to let the world know of my venture into Facebook in my next post, so feel free to publish whenever your animal nature deemss it appropriate.

As you can see, he graciously permitted me to post our correspondence. I decided against correcting the typos, because in such a man of Fr. Christian's perfection, these peccadillos are nothing less than endearing.

UPDATE: Fr. Christian has graciously answered my question from a long time past and even expanded on the question, as only he can, to enlighten us all in matters far beyond my question. That's his way. He's Father Christian and he teaches the Bible.


  1. How do cigars become endearing? Isn't smoking a peccadillo illegal in most countries?

  2. Fred, there's peccadillos, and there's PECCADILLOS, and there's absolutely nothing endearing about cigars.

    Did you know that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar?

  3. Grandmere --the eyes are the lamp of the soul.... forget the ceegar, do you really want to trust a man--even a so-called man of God, whose eyes you cannot see?

  4. Margaret, may I take a pass on responding to your comment? I believe that "no comment" is the better part of discretion in this situation.

  5. This is indeed an honor! And certainly good material for your book.

    If Father Troll did not really exist, it would be necessary to invent him.

    You are writing a book, aren't you?


  6. Any communication with Dr. Christian Troll is a blessing because he knows, and always has, what's what and what isn't what and we ought pay attention to his every curse and would be risky to do otherwise in this world of run-away religious grandstanders and other such "hooligans."

  7. Oh Mimi, I am so jealous! You are so clever with words as to put the rest of the fair sex to shame.

  8. This is definitely a keeper. Well done, Mimi.

  9. Oh Mimi, I have been inspired by you to be brave and ventured to ask Fr Troll to let ME be a friend.

    And you,too, of course.

    owing to vagaries of Facebook, I am Eye Tee there.


  10. Avie, I'm not writing a book.

    I'm glad to know your shortened name form. The long form is a tough one to spell.

    Leonardo, I have many moments of temptation to be an uppity woman, and reading Fr. Christians posts is an excellent preventative.

    Susan, thanks. Once again, Fr. Christian is my inspiration.

    IT, I signed up to be your friend, with a message asking if Eye Tee was short for Eye Teeth.

  11. Is that because of my slashing wit? ;-)


  12. Elizabeth, I forgot to take notice of you as another woman tempted by and often succumbing to uppity woman sinfulness.

    IT, in a word, "Yes".


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