Thursday, September 25, 2008

Giving Up Wine

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, 'If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?'

'No, I had to stop drinking years ago', the homeless woman told me.

'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?' I asked.

'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said. 'I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.'

'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' I asked.

'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman. I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!'

'Well, I said, 'I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.'

The homeless Woman was shocked. 'Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.'

I said, 'That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine.'


From my daughter. I had to post this. We're going to lunch with her today.

5 comments:

  1. Heartfelt salute to your awesome daughter from under the overpasses! This is priceless!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Under There, I'm glad you liked it. I was a little concerned. I'd never want to disrespect homeless folks, but I don't believe this joke does that.

    Dennis, don't worry. I won't. I still can't get over not getting one taste of the wine that you brought to our gathering in NY. Not one sip of the wine connoisseur's offering! Of course, it was due to my talking too much, that I only got to the table after the bottle was empty.

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