Clarification On The Blogging Break

When I first began blogging, I wrote what I really wanted to write. By some unfathomable aligning of the stars, I became what I considered a "success" as a blogger. People read and responded in numbers beyond what I ever believed possible.

Then, at some point, blogging morphed into what I should write, rather than what I wanted to write. This or that cause was so good and important that I must write about it. The pressure was on, but who was putting pressure on me? Me, myself, and I, that's who.

Then, as my readership increased, the desire for even more readers began to creep into my motivation for writing. I'm embarrassed to say that. It's shameful, but it's true. I was a success, and I wanted to be even more of a success. But what is success, and what is it worth, if your motivation becomes skewed so that success means more than loving what you do? I stopped loving what I was doing.

The intrusion of the blog into my everyday life began to get out of control. I had to write about this, and I had to write about that, and I had my online public to whom I was responsible, but my relationships with the real people in my life suffered for it. I tried to cut back, but I could not, and thus I came to the conclusion that I must stop altogether, at least for a while.

When and if I start blogging again, (and I probably shall) I want to enjoy it. I don't want to feel pressured to write at all, not even about excellent causes, unless the cause is what I want to write about. There are many good folks out there writing about those causes, and I must accept that I cannot save the world. And I never, ever want to let numbers of readers and responses in the comments effect what I write again.