Friday, December 19, 2008

The Way To Inner Peace

I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed, 'The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished.'

So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how freaking good I feel right now.

Pass this on to those whom you think might be in need of inner peace.


From Stringer Doug.

10 comments:

  1. This is stupid, and I generally disapprove of these things, but in the interests of Christmas cheer and bridge building, you've been tagged.

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  2. BillyD, I love ya, but I never do tags.

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  3. What, you mean you can just say, "no"? Thank God! This is the first one I've ever done, and I hate it.

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  4. BillyD, that's all I'd be doing. You're a meanie when you say thanks, but no thanks, but there you have it. I'm a fully outed meanie.

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  5. Way to go, I mean finishing things off, not the tagging

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  6. Things done and left undone, like a big bag of classic baked Cheetos (the new stuff that the kids eat is way too salty for me), still my favorite junk food. I'd pass up crack and a bottle of Thunderbird for that.

    Nacho flavored Doritos dipped in sour cream is Nirvanna, especially when washed down with Dr. Pepper, though I haven't done that particular trash feast in many years.

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  7. Cheetos, Doritos, and old fashioned potato chips. I can't stop, once I start. I don't buy the damned things, but Grandpère buys them.

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  8. Inner Peace is the whole point of junk food, as well as of booze and cigarettes.
    And while our souls mellow out, our arteries, lungs, and livers ripen and rot.

    I'm surprised a sect hasn't formed yet around this particular quest for inner peace through self-immolation.

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  9. These days, I try to limit (not always successfully) my junkfood to peanuts, not the worst thing in the world, though I really miss cheese and crackers.

    The big challenge will be my sugar habit. I wonder if there is a methadone treatment for it?

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  10. And while our souls mellow out, our arteries, lungs, and livers ripen and rot.

    If I make that a sign and post it on the fridge, will that help?

    I love sugar and chocolate, but too much of them make me sick. Truly, I get a scratchy throat and cold symptoms. And chocolate gives me boils. The experts say that's not true, but it is for me.

    CL, with the sugar, you go cold turkey. I hate all the artificial sweeteners, too.

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