Wednesday, January 7, 2009

No Sex Since 1955

A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.

"Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"

"Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature."

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action."

"Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself."

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?"

"1955, ma'am."

"Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him several times.

Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955."

The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, "I hope not; it's only 2130 now."


Don't blame me. Blame the wicked David. He made me do it.

15 comments:

  1. Why did I turn red? I´m one of those, so called, former Gay hedonists...it must be that it was a heterosexual joke...something similar to the ickfactor, I guess...odd.

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  2. Well, as a former hetero-hedonist (not really)(not really a hedonist, that is) (though not for lack of trying) I had a bit of an ick factor too. I think it was the adjective "crusty" that threw me. :D

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  3. Look, it's all David's fault.

    Ick? Crusty? What an ungrateful lot you are.

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  4. So many Davids, but this could be only one.

    And I enjoyed it, even though I anticipated the punchline (NOT a pun! Honestly: you people.) I suspect I've heard too many military men tell these kinds of jokes, plus knowing the style of telling time.

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  5. Hi there, Johnieb! Where ya been?

    Thank you. At least someone appreciates my efforts? Copying and pasting is hard work.

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  6. I'm shocked, Mimi, just shocked. And trying to find the lung I laughed up. This was/is funny!

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  7. (closes eyes, shakes head)
    Okay. You got me. Why didn't I see that coming?
    Ack! More puns.

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  8. I liked it Grandmere --I mean, crusty ol' serious marines do have a certain appeal --rigid strength and all that....

    Good joke, really!

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  9. James, did I ruin my image? Sorry about that. I surely did not see it coming, or I wouldn't have posted it.

    Missy, they sends 'em, and I posts 'em. Sometimes they sends 'em that I don't post. I have a reputation to maintain.

    Margaret! And you a priest!

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  10. I fell for it hook, line and sinker and loved every minute of it. Can't wait to pass it on

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  11. As a former Marine I appreciate this most amusing - but true - story.

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  12. I saw it coming from a mile away...but I still laughed.

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  13. Hi PENolan. I had a look at your blog. I'd think twice before crossing you.

    Thanks for visiting and leaving a word.

    Fred, it's true? How do you know? Did it happen to you?

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  14. Oooohhh, you're bad!!!

    The Dartmouth Film Society is playing a porno tonight, ick ick ick. I think I'll just settle for your jokes instead. :P

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  15. Hah! That's a good clean dirty joke. Much better than my old favorite, "What do you do with an elephant with three balls? Walk him and pitch to the Rhinoceros."

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