If you need a good laugh, try reading through these children's science exam answers:
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? (brilliant, love this!)
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does 'varicose' mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section'.
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome
Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Thanks to Doug. And please don't ask me of these are real answers to real questions in a science class. I don't inquire about veracity in the joke department. Just laugh if you find them funny.
Thank you for the laughs.
ReplyDeleteMother Amelia
These remind my of my favorite college roommate, Susan, a food science major. She took all of her chemistry, botany and biology courses with all the serious scientists (no special "science for food majors" classes).
ReplyDeleteShe admitted sometimes you have to try humor when you don't know an answer on an exam, and hope the bored teaching assistant will give you partial credit for imagination. After 35 years, I still recall two of her favorite who knows/fallback chemistry Q&A pairings: Q: What is the inorganic catalyst? A dirty sock; Q: What is the organic catalyst? A fruit fly.
The cow is lovely and sweet!
ReplyDeleteYes, I am beginning to get intercontinental, myself.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite is the battle of the moon and sun.
Oh, and flirtation really works to clean water!
Thanks Mimi!
O/T, but what are you Louisianans putting in the water there?
ReplyDeleteThe Pink Dolphin
IT
IT, wow! What a beautiful and spectacular sight that is. I'd like to do a post, but I'd hate to give the location of the pink dolphin more publicity - not that my blog will up the publicity ante that much. I hope that folks are respectful of the dolphin's space and don't harass it.
ReplyDeleteIt's on PerezHilton, so it's everywhere already, Mimi.
ReplyDelete