God appears one day to John and tells him: You have been a good man all your life. I would like to reward you. Tell me anything you want and I will do it for you provided it does not harm other people.
John: I hate to take the boat to go every day from this little island I live to the mainland to work. Can you make a bridge so I can drive to work?
God: well John, I could do that, but is there an alternate wish that will not upset the environment at this point?
John: Yes, I would like to understand why my wife goes shopping so often and spends so much money on useless things. I was never able to understand why she does it, despite the fact that we had extensive conversations about it.
God: John, how many lanes do you want on that bridge?
From Dennis, who just passed his orals for his doctorate. He will soon be Dr. Dennis, but if he thinks I'll call him that....
Moishe, on his death bed, asks for a ham sandwich from the deli. Spouse complies. Moishe enjoys the sandwich, lies back down again in weakness. Spouse, shocked, asks, "Moishe, why???!!" Moishe replies, "When I stand before the great judgment seat and God gets to the ham sandwich, I'll know we're just about finished."
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Scott, stop! You're killing me.
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