A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO, WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP, AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN. THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS, AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET. SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS, AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.
THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY, AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.
THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT.
THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."
THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.
THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL HANDLE THIS, I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE." HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY.
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS.
"I TOLD HER, "FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO TORONTO".
If you think this joke is sexist, you need to know that a woman sent it to me, and the woman's name is Erika. Don't blame me. Blame Erika.
Yes, I love this joke, and it is not sexist. It's just blondist! I'm sure Miss California would have to have this explained to her.
ReplyDeleteHow nice that you're not one of those sanctimonious, po-faced bastards who doesn't do blonde jokes, Mimi.
ReplyDeleteLouisiana blonde joke, anybody?
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana.
She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"
Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand.
Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank.
Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement.
Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back. Frustrated, she shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
Oh, yes! Very funny!
ReplyDeleteIs Erica a blonde?
ReplyDeleteLapin, your joke is funny, and it does not bother me one bit. It seems I simply can't be PC enough for you, so I've quit trying. ;o)
ReplyDeleteErica is not a blond, Amelia.
My point was intended to appreciate your not being pc, Mimi.
ReplyDeleteLapin, I'm sorry, then. I should have taken you straight, like fine whiskey.
ReplyDeleteI love both jokes. I shared the flight one with my co-workers. The blonde among them hastened over to hear it. No offense taken.
ReplyDeleteReading of the blonde and the alligators I am inclined to think that we may mock the IQ but she should not be underestimated.
While you are sipping your whiskey I am still trying to explain to Maggie why they weren't pouring Sazeracs in NC. Sweet tea is not her thing, it seems. Perhaps a few sips of Daddy's libations will calm her down. And isn't it time I had me a little drinkie tonight?
...we may mock the IQ but she should not be underestimated.
ReplyDeleteIndeed!
I'm going to have a glass of wine now.
You and Maggie enjoy your drinkie, Paul.
The stoopid comes in all sizes and colours.
ReplyDeleteAmelia
ReplyDeleteI have to confess that I used to be blonde until well into my twenties. Since then, mercifully, my hair has darkened to a nice brown, now going straggly grey.
It could have been worse, it could have been a joke about a Tracy. I don't know about where you are but here in England there are so many jokes about Tracy's or Sharon's. People seem to think we are either stupid or of loose morals.AND to make matters even worse, like you Erika,I was also blonde so there was no end of 'jokes'.
ReplyDeleteIncidentally I had another near out-of-body experience with a blonde in a red car on the cellphone, as I was driving home from the store yesterday afternoon. Why can't people at least make the effort not to look like stereotypes (love this new-found html trick, btw), even when they can't help acting it?
ReplyDeleteDo Germans tell blonde jokes (among themselves, that is), Erika?
Oh, Petty, I remember hearing Tracy and Sharon jokes one trip to England! Our coach driver(who just happened to be Welsh) told us a whole bunch! They were a lot like blonde jokes.
ReplyDeleteLapin
ReplyDeleteyes, they tell lots of blonde jokes. Some even laugh about them!
In fact, I'm sure that I've heard some of the ones circulating round here when I grew up more years ago than my blonde head can remember (numbers get tricky once you hit double figures).
Petty
Feel for my friend Tracy who is married to a Kev!
Susan S
ReplyDeleteYes, Tracy and Sharon are blonde. They're also from Essex, wear white sandals and a lot of bling, love pink.
Their bloke is called Kevin and wears a shellsuit.
They have Trace & Kev banners on their windscreens and they drive Ford Escorts.
Petty, I heard about your broken toe at OCICBW. I am so sorry. I shall pray for you that the bad pain won't last long. I sprained my big toe once, and it hurt!
ReplyDeleteI' afraid that I've been so many years on the west side of the pond that many of the nuances of UK trailer-trash escape me. I get the idea, tho'. "Kev" has never been exactly an alpha social-indicator.
ReplyDeleteYep, that's Tracy's (Trace's) & Sharon's (Shazza's) for you. They always end up with either a Kevin Or a Wayne - their male counterparts. Why didn't my mam stick with calling me Carol? By the way woe betide anyone calling me Trace, Tracy is bad enough, thank you very much.
ReplyDeleteI'm a brunette (well, a now silver-haired one) and I approved these jokes.
ReplyDelete