Aitchellsee, who sometimes comments here, writes to ask for prayers for a friend of hers, S., who may suffer from Aspergers. S. had been living with her mother, until her mother died 6 years ago. Now she's having health problems, and her life is deteriorating to the point where it seems she may not be able to live on her own. She's calling on Aitchellsee to help her, and A. wants to help, but S. is quite needy and wants more help than A. feels she is able to give at the present time. The two live about 35 miles away by train from each other.
S. wants A. to visit her, because she feels she might die due to circumstances that seem to A. unlikely to cause death, and she wants to be assured that her parakeets will be taken care of, should she die. A. wants to take another mutual friend along with her to help her assess the situation when she visits, but S. doesn't want the other friend to visit. A. is uncomfortable about visiting S. alone, but she wants to help her long-time friend.
I'm condensing a long email as best I can. In short, please pray that A. finds a way to help S. that she is comfortable with and that S. gets the help she needs.
Lord, have mercy.
Prayers offered for both sisters
ReplyDeleteMany thanks, Mimi, for condensing my long and confusing prayer request into something more comprehensible. (No one has ever accused me of writing like Ernest Hemingway, I follow earlier models).
ReplyDeleteYesterday I did indeed go up to see my friend S, along with the mutual acquaintence. I'd asked Mimi for prayers, and also asked another online community I'm part of, and when I got home last night I found many messages of support and assurances of prayers for S, and I could sort of feel them at work during our visit.
S, whom I've known for almost 40 years, since highschool, lives, carless, in a commuter suburb, where there is public transportation if you walk far enough to get to it but you really need a car for most errands. As a mass-transit-spoiled NYC resident I long ago gave up my car and license, as did our other friend, so we'd be using train, taxi or bus during our visit to S.
From what S had reported to me, we were concerned that she wasn't eating properly, and that it might be affecting her mood and thinking--and health, so we planned to take her shopping by taxi, or go for her if she didn't feel she could go. It happened that there was a Farmer's Market at the train station when we arrived, with the most heavenly assortment of fragrant fruits and vegetables, and we managed to get S to provide a small shopping list by cellphone for a health salad she'd been reading about, and so that we were able to sit down together around a bowl of fresh watermelon and blueberries to smooth out the start of our visit.
Then my friend and I went out to buy milk, papertowels, soap, and more food.
S looked much better than I'd expected from speaking with her, but is clearly at the end of her emotional rope again (she went thru a hellish time after her mother died) and can't think clearly about simple things like the name of any supermarket she might patronize, or whether something flushed down the toilet can cause a pressure backup that would make the flushometer handle squeek - explaining that they are two entirely separate systems could not reassure her that she hadn't cause the problem by accidentally flushing the cleaning sponge.
She gets extremely fixated on her own understandings of things, and is very hard to change her mind. She's virtually alone in the world except for her parakeets and her new Legal Services lawyer (her old lawyer couldn't continue after her unpaid bills grew too large) -- in short, it's simil;ar in dynamics to dealing with a much older person who has to leave their lifelong home and go into assisted living, or close to it, and anyone who's been there knows the territory. Except that none of us are relatives with the right to have a say in her care,or to push her too much.
Also, S is very devout but maintains a lot of harsh beliefs she got from a sectarian fundamentalist grandmother. She is a member of TEC but has not been part of a parish since her mother's death. However she got a lot of comfort from reading the Compline service from the BCP with me over the phone in the worst days six years ago and still mentions it, and I'm sure it will mean a lot to know she has your prayers as well. Thank you, from my heart, from both of us.
Aitchellsee, I'm sorry I took so long to post, but I did pray when I received your email, and - lo! - your visit seems to have helped S. and given her a bit of companionship. It's a difficult situation, surely, but we can pray that she gets the help she needs, somehow, some way.
ReplyDeleteplease know that I am praying...
ReplyDeleteOh my - so many prayers!!!
ReplyDeletePrayers ascending.
ReplyDeleteFWIW
jimB
I did not comment but added prayers when I first read this.
ReplyDeletePrayers ascending.
ReplyDeleteMarilyn