The Talking Dog

A guy is driving around the back woods of North Carolina and sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'TALKING DOG FOR SALE'

The man rings the bell and the owner of the house appears, telling him the dog is in the backyard. They both walk around to the backyard, and a nice looking Labrador retriever is sitting there, under a tree.

'Mind if I check him out?' the prospective buyer asks.

'Go right ahead,' answers the owner.

The man walks up to the dog tentatively. 'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the lab replies.

After the man recovers from the shock of hearing a talking dog, he says, 'So, what's your story?'

The dog looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. It was pretty funny to be doing that, but in reality I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger, so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. Then I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

The guy is amazed. He asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars? Are you nuts? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that.'

UPDATE: Oh, woe, woe, woe is me! I forgot to give Doug credit for sending me the joke. I wouldn't want y'all to think that I made it up. By the same token, I wouldn't want y'all to think that Doug made it up, either.