Thursday, October 29, 2009

Why [Heterosexual] Men Do Not Write Advice Columns

"ASK STEVE"

Dear Steve,

I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help.

When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbors daughter. I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbor's daughter is 22. We have been married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counseling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore..

Can you please help?

Sincerely,

Sheila

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Dear Sheila:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.

I hope this helps,
Steve


Padre Mickey sent the joke to me, passing it on from his aunt. The title, as received, did not contain the word "heterosexual", but El Padre suggested the fix.

Don't blame me. Blame El Padre.

7 comments:

  1. I laughed aloud, and read it to Joel --but he didn't get it!!!! (Thankfully, he was just joking!)

    Thank you Grandmere & Padre & Padre's Tia!

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  2. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaqhahahahahahaha!

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  3. Hi Lilee. Welcome. I'm glad you had a good laugh. I see a haq in there. I hope that you didn't get to choking.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Loved it, thanks for posting!

    Well, of course straight guys wouldn't write an advice column, they'd all end up sounding like Dr. Phil. Would that be something people would want to hear?

    OTOH, imagine if a couple of gay guys had to stand in for Tom & Ray on NPR's "Car Talk".

    "My 'check engine' light comes on whenever I back out of my driveway".

    "Have you thought about backing in at night and just driving out in the morning"?

    Or some such...

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  5. ...they'd all end up sounding like Dr. Phil. Would that be something people would want to hear?

    Not I, that's for sure, Pfalz Prophet.

    I could listen to Tom and Ray, but for their laughs, which annoy me to no end.

    ReplyDelete

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