Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
Law of Gravity - Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law - If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Thanks to Doug.
The Law of Food Arrival: When waiting for your food to come, if you have to go to the restroom, it will come.
ReplyDeleteThe Law of Dripping Nose: Just after you have wiped your hands with Purell before celebrating Holy Communion, your nose will begin to run.
Muthah+, thanks for the additions.
ReplyDeleteI like the variation law. . . It also applies to changing lanes in the grocery check out line.
ReplyDeleteOh yes, Susan. I've tried the grocery check-out line maneuver, but never to my benefit.
ReplyDeleteIf you change grocery check-out lines, the line you were in originally will begin to move faster just as the line you have changed to will ground to a halt, but if you decide to defeat this system by sticking with the same grocery check-out line and not changing, the line you didn't change to will keep on moving faster.
ReplyDeleteIt's very aggravating.