The picture of my sister Gayle was taken on the grounds of the Tower of London during our trip to England in the 1990s. We were headed to visit the Norman chapel inside the White Tower. I stopped to take a picture, and Gayle walked on. Today is the fifth anniversary of my sister's passing. With courage, she fought off lymphoma 17 years before she died from pancreatic cancer. I still miss her. For me, the picture is a stunning metaphor for Gayle's walk away from all of us who love her.
Please pray for her husband, Frank and her three children, two grandchildren, and one great-grandchild. Please pray for me and for her many friends who still miss her. She was a wonderful person. She loved to joke and laugh, and she loved a good party. She was a good wife, mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother. She was a good sister and a good friend to me.
This past Holy Week, I've been unusually sad, and I've wondered why. I take the week to heart, but usually not as much as this year. Then, on Monday, it dawned on me that in the days before the anniversary of Gayle's passing, I grieve each year, even when I'm not consciously aware that the anniversary approaches. Holy Week coincided with the period before the anniversary. Aha!
Why Couldn't You Stay?
You walked away; you left us
Bereft, bereaved.
How could you go?
It wasn't your doing,
I know, I know.
Yet, how could you go?
Two years passed and gone,
Slipped away.
After you left, I'd think
I'll call her; I'll email.
Oh no! None of that!
You won't answer.
Now I know you're gone.
No thoughts of visits to come,
Seeing your face, hearing your voice,
The sound of your laughter.
Sadness lingers, emptiness remains.
Why couldn't you stay?
June Butler - 04-27-08
Note: Reposted from last year with editing.
I'm working on the painting my father always wanted from me, eleven years after he died. I've been thinking about him a lot lately.
ReplyDeleteWe never "recover" from the loss of those dearest to us. We only learn to live with the loss. We will always miss them and mourn their passing.
At the same time, they never really quite entirely die for us as long as we can summon them to memory. We live in the hope that somehow we shall see them again someday.
Prayers for you and your sister and her family and for all who miss her.
I remember this from last year - the picture is so evocative - and remember that the anniversary of your sister's death is very close to the anniversary of my dad's, which is on Sunday. They say that having a sister has a lot to do with one's happiness; I am sure you must miss her still so much. Peace to you.
ReplyDeletePain touches pain, Mimi. That's what we say in my business. It's never more true than during Holy Week.
ReplyDeleteMy prayers are with you.
Counterlight, it's true. We don't ever "recover". We go on. I find the the period of mourning for what I don't consciously think of very strange. Where does it come from?
ReplyDeleteAs my then five year old grandson said many years ago, "If you love them, they live in your heart," which is true, but it's not quite the same.
Penny, the picture and post have become an annual tradition. For Gayle's memorial service, family members gathered pictures. When I looked through my photos from our trip, I knew I wanted the picture above as my contribution to the mix. I have it framed on my mantelpiece, and it carries great meaning for me.
Elizabeth, thank you. I know you know, luv.
Prayers for you at this time of remembrance.
ReplyDeleteYeah- grief sneaks up on us - prayers
ReplyDelete{{{Mimi}}}
ReplyDeleteI feel for you more, this year, having lost Cathy.
A great love always means a great loss. I am confident God cries with us, grieves with us --I think Jesus crying at the tomb of Lazarus and then again crying on the cross -'why have you forsaken me' --that grief and that pain are carried in the heart of God so that our grief and pain may find the ready fabric and be woven in to the garment of redemption and joy....
ReplyDeleteKeep weaving that grief and remembered joy Grandmere. Your testimony gives me courage, faith and hope.
Many Easter blessings.
Thank you all. I know that you've suffered losses, and you know what I feel. The thing is that I thought the anniversaries would not be so sad five years down the road. Still, I'm blessed to have many wonderful memories that remain.
ReplyDeleteGayle was my best friend as well as my sister. I told her stuff that I would not tell anyone else in the world.
A great love always means a great loss.
Too true, margaret. I hope the procedure on Joel went well.
I don't think it has anything to do with time, more with where our lives are taking us. My mother died before my first child was born, but it's when the girls and I are cooking together, I suddenly "hear" my mother's voice from when we did the same when I was young.
ReplyDeleteStrong memories, lovely and painful at the same time, can suddenly swamp me 17 years afterwards, and the sense of loss can be almost as acute as it was at the time.
Prayers for you and your family.
Oh Mimi, I offer you my prayers.
ReplyDeleteErika, I think you must be right. That's how grief is.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Fran.
Mimi, bless you, being a wonderful person obviously runs in your family x
ReplyDeleteLesley, how kind of you. Thank you. You make me blush.
ReplyDeleteMimi, I'm really sorry I didn't see this post yesterday. I'm also sorry to hear you have been sad this week. You and Gayle were very blessed to have cared for each other so deeply. Prayers for both of you.
ReplyDeleteCathy, thank you.
ReplyDelete