"I'M IN CHARGE 'ERE!" 'E SAYS

I am the very model of the focus of great unity

I say who is to be a bishop vis-à-vis who's not to be

And when four-thirty's come and gone with tea and crumpets for each one

I read a little Johnny Donne and give thanks for impunity



I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters theological

With books and thoughts from Genesis to Greek eschatalogical

You'll never find a brighter mind just knocking 'round and killing time

The Pauline corpus whole is mine - that's why I'm Christological



Yet even with so fine a grasp on life-behind philosophy

I'll write a poem, make a vid, and burn it all to DVD

I've yet to have a thought that wasn't captured without modesty

And posted up to interwebs in matters most postmodernly



This purple cassock hides a frame that's wracked with years of self-regret

Perhaps I'd show you after ten, but not until just then, you bet

I'd like to quote 'The Body's Grace' and get along with homophiles

But unity comes with a price and Lambeth is my domicile



Because the Thames, so fast and deep, so easily o'erflows its banks

And we have all these partnerships the world around, and we give thanks

To God the Father in whose name we obfuscate and place the blame

And dare not speak the love whose fame incites us all to spank the Yanks



Who even now would like to say that what they said and what they meant

Were justice-born and justice-done and no great cause for gross lament

When some elect and some consent, it's democratic government

So let's get on our knees, repent, and sign up for the Covenant



Yet there's a place for each and all at God's communion table

And I am called an Instrument to say that we are able

If we could only change the tide and Unity could take a ride

And Faith and Order lay aside ... Perhaps it's just a fable

Lyrics by TOTALLY ANONYMOUS.

I know you know, but think Pirates of Penzance for the tune.

Don't blame me for the Photoshop. Blame MadPriest.