Wednesday, October 19, 2011

A LITTLE JEWISH HUMOR

A Jewish woman goes to see her Rabbi and asks, "Yankele and Yosele are both in love with me, who will be the lucky one?"

The wise old Rabbi answers, "Yankele will marry you. Yosele will be the lucky one.
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If a married Jewish man is walking alone in a park and expresses an opinion without anybody hearing him, is he still wrong?
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My father says, "Marry a girl who has the same belief as the family." I said, "Dad, why would I marry a girl who thinks I'm a schmuck?"
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Jewish marriage advice: "Don't marry a beautiful person. They may leave you. Of course, an ugly person may leave you too. But who cares?"
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The Italian says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have wine."
The Frenchman says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have cognac."
The Russian says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have vodka."
The German says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have beer."
The Mexican says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have tequila."
The Jew says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have diabetes."
Don't blame me. Blame Doug.

4 comments:

  1. I love the married Jewish man walking alone in a park. I suspect the answer is "yes, he is still wrong". The marriage advice is good too :)

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  2. Cathy, that's my favorite of the jokes, too. Poor guy. He is still wrong.

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  3. A friend adds this worthy candidate to the collection:

    A Jewish mother gives her son two ties. The next time she sees him, he is wearing one of them. "What's wrong with you?" she exclaims. "Didn't you like the other one?"

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  4. Anonymous, thanks. Yours is a good one. If you leave another comment, please make up a name and sign your post. Thanks.

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