They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back door.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.'
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Yes, I've seen some of the bloopers before, and no, I don't know for a fact that the mistakes appeared in a church bulletin. I laughed, so here they are. I presume the Church Ladies have not yet got the hang of computers.
Thanks to Suzanne.
ha ha, I like: "Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you." :) Also: "Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered." I laughed at quite a few though :)
ReplyDeleteI read the bloopers once more and laughed again. Laughter is truly the best medicine.
Delete"Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin."
ReplyDeleteAt last, an activity that will attract young people! ;-)
Lunch after the B.S. should be fun, too.
DeleteLove the church ladies! And I'm still chuckling as I type this. My fave: the low self-esteem support group members being asked to use the back door. Thanks for sharing the laughs!
ReplyDeleteGlad you enjoyed them, Prairie Soul. I giggled again today.
DeleteEchoing a comment over at TBogg: I am now going to officially start charging you for every coffee-saturated keyboard I have to replace after one of these posts...
ReplyDeleteOh no! Will I have to post a disclaimer at the head of my posts with jokes? Not responsible for liquids spewed on keyboards.
DeleteElectric girdles? They be smoking hot ladies.
ReplyDeleteWe probably all at least know one or two folks who actually have an over-abundance of gracious hostility.
These are all delicious funny.
Ha ha. Yes, indeed - smoking hot.
DeleteThis really happened during the days of male only clergy... In our Cathedral newsletter, the Dean wrote--"Please let us know when you're in the hospital. We cannot know unless you tell us. Your clergy don't have crystal balls..."
ReplyDeleteThat's priceless, David. And here I was all along thinking... :-)
DeleteSorry to disappoint...
Delete