Yesterday, I'd written a few words about my state of mind and heart since my husband, Tom, died last year. This morning, I looked at my words from yesterday and thought there might be a poem in there. Here's what I came up with, such as it is.
Interim
My life,
An interim that is not
My life,
A holding place, not
My life.
What's next in
My life
That is not
My life?
Tom fades away in
My life.
It's not right in
My life.
(June Butler - 2-12-2020)
I am touched by your poem, and my thoughts are with you. I know that my heart will hurt as yours does when and if my beloved leaves this world before I do. May you have comfort.
ReplyDeleteKathy (kaffyr on LJ)
Thank you, Kathy.
DeleteI have found that when I lost the people closest to me that years later they became clearer to me, understanding them better. I don't know if that's any help but I'd like to do something. I hope you find comfort.
ReplyDeleteThank you. Your words do help. It's not even a year since Tom died, and I hate that he's fading away.
DeleteTo paraphrase C. S. Lewis, the passage of time softens and blurs the memory, like snow falling on a landscape. A blessing, perhaps. I can recommend his book A Grief Observed, written after the death of his beloved wife Joy.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Russ. I realize that, as you and another friend suggested, the fading is a kind of blessing to ease the sharpness of the pain of grief. Still, I don't like that it's happening.
DeleteI read C S Lewis' book years ago. In fact, I may have a copy somewhere around the house. Thanks for the suggestion. I'll look for it among my too many books.
Russ,I found my copy of A Grief Observed and started to reread. So far I've read only the introduction by Madeleine L'Engle which especially resonated. Her marriage, like mine, was a long one. Thanks for the reminder.
DeleteYou're so welcome. Bless you.
DeleteI'm so sorry, June! You captured the feeling of loss in your poem so well.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Rick, my blog friend from the past. It's good to hear from you.
DeleteHi June, do you remember me? I used to blog on Father Jake's blog years ago. What a growing experience that was for me. So sorry for the lose of your husband and your grief. Holding you in prayer. Becky
ReplyDeleteThanks for your kind words, Grace. I remember you from Fr Jake's blog. I still miss him and the people who gathered at Jake's place.
DeleteMy blogging handle then was the name Grace. I always appreciated your blog as well.
ReplyDeleteOn this isolated Easter Sunday, and with the sad news from St. John the Baptist Parish to your north, I thought I'd stop by and wish you blessings. I only met Tom briefly, but he is a difficult man to fade.
ReplyDeleteStay safe.
Paul A
Thank you, Paul A. I wish you and your family the best.
Delete