This is a special container for keeping
lies that you tell yourself & it doesn't let
in any light or air otherwise they start to
go bad & there's nothing else you can do
but throw them out.
From StoryPeople.
This is a special container for keeping
lies that you tell yourself & it doesn't let
in any light or air otherwise they start to
go bad & there's nothing else you can do
but throw them out.
Your job is to focus on my personal
happiness, she said, & I've got big plans,
so break time is over.
I used to believe my father about
everything but then I had children
myself & now I see how much stuff you
make up just to keep yourself from going
crazy.
Fits into a really tight suit to
keep his blood from rushing
to his feet where it just
makes him want to get up & go
The birds brought seed & flowers & bits
of brightly colored string & placed them
in her hair while she slept so that she
would remember the wild joy of spring
when she finally awoke.
Of course I want to save the world, she
said, but I was hoping to do it from the
comfort of my regular life.
I try & walk a line between terror &
ecstasy, she said & then she shook her
head. You'd be amazed at the people
who avoid me for no good reason, other
than that.
I'm not worried about ghosts in general,
she said. Just the ones that are related
to me.
I've always thought death was a lot like
Christmas, he said. I can't wait to find
out if being good the whole time was
worth it.
What are you doing? I said. I'm
invisible, he said, Do I have to spell
everything out for you all the time? &
since he was invisible, I decided i could
ignore that.
I don't think of it as working for world
peace, she said. I think of it as just
trying to get along in a really big strange
family.
We lay there & looked up at the night
sky & she told me about stars called blue
squares & red swirls & I told her I'd
never heard of them. Of course not, she
said, the really important stuff they
never tell you. You have to imagine it on
your own.
I used to be pretty clear on what was
real & what I made up, but with
everything going on in the world, none
of that seems to matter, so I just decided
to talk less & smile to myself more, so as
not to add to the general confusion
What do I get for this? I said & the angel
gave me a catalog filled with toasters &
clock radios & a basketball signed by
Michael Jordan & I said, But this is just
stuff & the angel smiled at me &
swallowed me in her arms. I'm so glad
you said that, she whispered to me. I
knew you still had a chance.
Of course I'm not happy, she said to me,
but I've got a degree in psychology so at
least I can explain why.
What are you scared of? she said & I
said, Nothing & then I said what are you
scared of? & she said, people like you &
it was such a relief to know I wouldn't
be able to fool her for long
I don't know if I really believe in all the
saints, she said, but I pray to them
anyway. It makes every night feel more
like a slumber party.
I have a really great power
suit she said, but I never
wear it because no one
talks to me on those days.
You have to not care either way about it,
she told me, & when you wake up in the
middle of the night with anxiety attacks,
it's best to lie & say it's because you
thought you heard something
downstairs
I don't know how long I can do this, he
said. I think the universe has different
plans for me & we sat there in silence &
I thought to myself that this is the thing
we all come to & this is the thing we all
fight & if we are lucky enough to lose,
our lives become beautiful with mystery
again & I sat there silent because that is
not something that can be said.