STRUCK MY FUNNYBONE

He has a tattoo of his right hand on his left hand so that “my right hand knows what my left hand is doing.”

"Shouts & Murmurs" - Bob Odenkirk in The New Yorker

A MAN I KNOW AND MY TATTOO

The other day I ran into an acquaintance in the supermarket, and he appeared rather cold and unfriendly.  I've known him for a long time, and I was puzzled about the coolness, so I chalked it up to the fact that he was with his long-time girlfriend.  The man was a single father for many years after his wife left him, and he cared for his children admirably.  Both children are now married and on their own.  A few years ago, he began to go around with  a nice woman, but when he told me about her, he went to great pains to assure me that they were "just good friends".  He's a loyal Catholic fella, and he cannot marry again in the church unless he gets an annulment.  It doesn't matter at all to me if the two are friends or lovers.  In fact, I rather hope they are lovers; he deserves it after what his ex-wife did to him.

But I digress.  A few days after I saw the man, Grandpère ran into him, and he said, "Tom, let me ask you something.  Is that a tattoo on June's ankle?"  GP answered, "Yes."  It seems the man was somewhat in shock at the sight of my tattoo, which was why he seemed unfriendly.  All right, then.

I had the tattoo done after Hurricane Katrina, when I went a little crazy about my beloved city of New Orleans and its people following the devastating flood that resulted from the breach of the federal levee system.  GP and I visited relatives in Kansas City not long after, and my nephew and his wife, who adore New Orleans, had just had fleur-de-lis tattoos done.  The flower is one of the symbols of NO, referring to its French history.  I told them that for several years, I had wanted a small tattoo, but I'd never really known what design I wanted nor had nerve enough to actually do it.  A small fleur-de-lis seemed like a splendid idea, but still I hesitated.  My nephew and his wife urged me on, "Do it!  Do it!";  I asked GP what he thought, and he said the decision was all mine.  Sooo I had the tattoo done, and, several years later, put my fellow citizen in shock.

I assume that anyone who takes the trouble to read this silly, all-about-me post will be curious to see the tattoo, so the picture is below.  Please disregard the varicose veins.

I THOUGHT MINE WAS UNIQUE...

...and now EVERYONE has one. That's not fair. From the Times-Picayune:

Gregory "Boobie" Toefield sears memories into flesh every day.

Just across the Industrial Canal, one of his Aart Accent Tat-2 facilities sits on St. Claude Avenue, lime-green facade partly overgrown with plywood boards, prim floral curtains peeking out over black bars. Inside, hunks of fiberglass are piled on a chair that looks like it belongs in a dentist's office.

Latest reopening estimate: 2010. Maybe.

Good thing I got mine in Kansas City.

But wait!

In fact, at Aart Accent's other store -- an undamaged orange building at the edge of the Quarter, decorated with a rainbow of gremlins and jesters -- Toefield does a brisk trade in New Orleans tattoos.
....

What's keeping these tattoo parlors in business, artists agree, is fleur de lis madness. Before Katrina, tattooists averaged a New Orleans tattoo or two a month, usually during Saints season. These days, Freaky Tiki does about 25 fleur de lis tattoos per week, and Toefield said he'll do a dozen a day near Mardi Gras time.

"We're doing nothing but fleur de lis," said Louis "Screwie Louie" McDowell of Brad's West Bank Tattoos in Marrero. "Everyone and their brother has to have one."

Arrggh! Shocking, just shocking! I don't like that at all. Well, I should have known. It's a no-brainer, really. Oh well. What's done is done.

Wait again! It gets worse!

And the tattoo parlors report more old folks -- Jones of Freaky Tiki recently tattooed a 75-year-old woman -- and first-timers than ever before.

Older than I am! Am I to be left with nothing to crow about? And it's a trend. More old folks! I don't want to be trendy.

Well, I console myself that the fleur-de-lis is still pretty rare in my little town, and it may be well be unique amongst the population of 73+ year old women here.

My tattoo looks better than the picture shows.