STEPHEN COLBERT: Thank you, very much. Lovely.Please read the entire speech, which is on a par with his address at the White House Correspondents Dinner during the George W Bush presidency, in which he skewered attendees left and right, including the president himself. If you recall, he lost the audience of media folk present during his talk but bravely carried on, while holding the viewers at home enthralled with laughter mixed with shock that he actually spoke the words we were hearing.
Good evening, and congratulations my fellow influencers. How is everyone feeling this evening?
Oh, come on, you could do better than that? Look at this room. Look at this people. Look at the view. You are the TIME 100, and we are better than other people. I'll say it, it's just us chickens. No one is live blogging this, right? You're on your honor. And I don't know about you, but it is such a relief to be away from the kind of riffraff who aren't influential enough to make the list. People like the Pope and Oprah. The Poprah.
You know, it's actually a bit dangerous to have this many influential people in the room. What if something should happen? It would wipe out the world's supply of influence. That's why some members of the TIME 100 are not here tonight, we have sequestered Warren Buffett and Viola Davis and in an undisclosed location in case we need to repopulate the world with influentialness.
Stephen does it again with audacious, pointed comemntary on people right there in the room with him.
Also, Georgetown law student Sandra Fluke is here tonight. Also an instant, instant feminist icon. Famously tested, testified before Congress, that Georgetown, a Catholic institution,should be required to provide insurance coverage for her birth control.Ouch! That smarted. I looked without success for a video of the speech, but I expect one will be available soon.
Now, TIME 100 honoree, his eminence Timothy Cardinal Dolan disagrees -- sir, lovely to see you again.
Of course, now some, some critics have said in response to this that if the Catholic church's insurance does not cover Sandra Fluke's birth control, it shouldn't cover Cardinal Dolan's Viagra.
Oh, no, no, no. Oh, no, no, no, that's called celibacy plus. That's how the pros do it. Because chastity is one thing, but it shows true commitment to uphold your vows when you are sporting a crook you could hang a miter on. Oh, wow, see you at mass on Sunday, sir?
I hope he doesn't become Pope.
I'm a Catholic, it's okay. I go to confession, it will be fine. Thank you.
