58TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY

Day before yesterday was the 58th anniversary of my marriage to Tom. Yes, Friday the 13th! How fitting. We were not married on a Friday, but every so often the anniversary lands on the Friday the 13th.

The wedding anniversary was one of the firsts since Tom died with more firsts to come. Though I tried to act as if it was just another day, I did not succeed, for the occasion was much on my mind. It goes without saying that it was a sad and not a happy anniversary.

When I wrote Tom's obituary, I did the math, subtracting 1961 from 2019, and said, "Tom is survived by his wife of 58 years...", when the truth was that I was Tom's wife while he was living for only 57½ years. When I realized my mistake, I was amused for a bit and grateful for the lighter moment. There's no correcting the mistake; it's all over the internet in perpetuity. Whatever. A half-year mistake doesn't matter, because we were together for a long, long time.

My brother-in-law Frank and my sister Gayle are on either side of Tom and me.

A WEDDING IN THE FAMILY

 

My son and his girlfriend of several years are getting married today.  Please pray that Patrick and Marlet have many happy years together.  The wedding will take place at Patrick's house with family and a few close friends as guests.

O gracious and everlasting God, look mercifully upon Patrick and Marlet who come to you seeking your blessing, and assist them with your grace, that with true fidelity and steadfast love they may honor and keep the promises and vows they make; through Jesus Christ our Savior, who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

(Book of Common Prayer)

A song for Patrick and Marlet.



Leonard Cohen's great song "Dance Me to the End of Love" by The Civil Wars, a new musical duo I've recently discovered, whom I enjoy very much.

GUESS WHERE WE WENT YESTERDAY

To a wedding! Yes, another wedding. A student from Nicholls State University, who kept in touch with Grandpère after they both left the university, married his lovely bride yesterday at St Francis de Sales Cathedral, pictured above. The wedding was lovely, as was the reception, with lots of good food, drink, and music by Louisiana Spice. If you check their website, you will see that the guys in the band dress like 1940s and 1950s gangstas or FBI operatives - take your pick.



The band was hot. GP and I danced a couple of slow dances and one fast dance, and I'm still recovering from the fast dance. Imagine! One lively dance does me in. During one of our slow dances, I kissed GP while we were dancing - twice. I think he liked that. Of course, I'd had a couple of glasses of wine, which is my limit because two glasses make me tipsy.

Anyway, this morning I'm still exhausted and achy. Since I spent a good part of Friday in Westminster Abbey, virtually speaking, and over an hour in St Francis Cathedral yesterday, I'm being an example to no one and not listening to it's margaret and skipping church this morning. Mea culpa!

I was just going to mention the activity below at St John's, which would have me in my church, quite willingly, again tomorrow evening:

Please join us for a Eucharist this Monday, May 2, at 6:00 p.m., along with the Reverends Tom & Beth Papazoglakis, as we dedicate the series of pictures (on the wall in the parish hall) donated to St. John’s by the Papazoglakis family in memory of Katherine Bourgeois. These papyrus, made by the Coptics, come from Egypt and depict many of the major themes in the life of Christ found in the gospel.

Alas, my daughter just now informed me via Facebook that our grandson will be confirmed tomorrow evening, and, since Grandpère is his sponsor, we will be at St Matthew the Apostle Church instead, willingly again, but surprised. The last we heard of this event was in the fall that the Confirmation would be "sometime in the spring". There is nothing like a last-minute, surprise reminder.

St Francis Cathedral is quite lovely. The parish was established in 1847, but the present building was constructed in 1936 in the neo-Gothic style. Other views of the cathedral may be seen at the website New Orleans Churches. I must tell you that the colors in the pictures at the website are not true, and the stained glass windows are much more beautiful than they appear in the photo. I wish I'd had my camera with me, but in honor of the wedding, I changed to my smaller, dressy purse, which does not include the pockets and pouches of my everyday handbag. The rose window above the altar is far prettier than it appears, and, as the pictures rightly show, the organ and the Stations of the Cross are impressive. The Stations remind me of those in the church I attended as a child in New Orleans, St Rose of Lima. St. Rose is no longer an active parish.

Since I didn't attend my church, I'll listen to MadPriest's service at St Laika's. The music included in his services is usually always excellent. I ask you: Where else can you hear "Joy to the World" performed by Three Dog Night on Easter Day? I've already seen Ellie Finlay's posts and pictures at The Anchorhold, and they are wonderful and thought-provoking.

UPDATE: I listened, and the service at St Laika's is very good, indeed. The music, the sermon, all of the service is well-worth a listen. My only further recommendation is that since the Gospel is John's story of Thomas the doubter, MadPriest might have added the wonderfully incarnational painting by Caravaggio, titled "The Incredulity of Saint Thomas", which is below. I like to show the painting at least once during the Easter season.

OUR WEDDING ALBUM - SEPTEMBER 13, 1961

 

My brother-in-law, Frank, Tom, me, my sister Gayle

For years, I had no idea in which of our many photo albums to look for the snapshots of our wedding, but after a persistent search through a good many albums, I found them a few months ago. Tom and I married in Charleston, South Carolina, at the Roman Catholic Cathedral of St. John in the bishop's private chapel. The small chapel was the perfect setting for our wedding, because only a very few were in attendance. Fr. Francis Friend presided over the ceremony, and he was a true friend. Because we were not members of their parishes, the other Roman Catholic priests whom I approached to do the honors, refused. We wanted to do the right thing, but we could not find a priest to make an honest woman out of me until I discovered Fr. Friend.

 

The bride and groom

Fr. Friend worked at the Cathedral office of the Marriage Tribunal, which generally handled annulment cases, but, in our case, he agreed to preside over our wedding ceremony. Present were my sister, Gayle, my brother-in-law, Frank, my niece Donna, Frank's sister, Chally and her two children, Cindy and Don. After the ceremony, my sister had a surprise wine and cake party for our small group. It was lovely, and I would not change a thing.


The happy couple once again...

After I finished graduate school at Louisiana State University in early August 1961, I went to stay with my sister in Charleston, South Carolina, because Tom was on active duty in the US Army at Fort Jackson in Columbia, South Carolina. He came to visit in Charleston on weekends until he was released from active duty to the US Army Reserve at the end of August or early in September. Since we wanted a small wedding, we decided to get married in Charleston. My family was large, and there was no way to have a small wedding in New Orleans without hurting the feelings of a good many people.

 

...and again - sipping champagne

Tom and I both had jobs waiting in Mobile, Alabama, and after a honeymoon that lasted a night and a day in St. Augustine, Florida, we headed to New Orleans and New Roads, Louisiana, to pick up our few possessions before we went to Mobile to our jobs. We had very little money and none for a longer honeymoon.

 

Me, my niece, Donna, and Tom

On the way to New Orleans, my car the, 1953 Chevrolet hard-top convertible pictured behind us, began to make a terrible noise when we turned curves. We were able to complete the trip to New Orleans, with the grinding sound on every curve, and we knew that we likely had expensive repairs facing us. I'd purchased the car used several years before, and, in those days, car dealers routinely turned back the mileage on used cars, so no telling how many miles the car had run. Instead of paying for the repairs, we decided to buy a new car.

We purchased a 1961 Ford Falcon, with no money down, only my old car as a trade-in and proof that we both had jobs. We loaded all our possessions into the Falcon (Those were the days of the simple life!) and started out on our new life together in Mobile.

And here we are, 49 years later, hardly changed at all.