'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa was a wreck ...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves",
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labor conditions at the north pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you KNOW that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorized use of his nose
And had gone on the Ellen show, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was "Ms."
And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacific.
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with THAT word these days.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even YOU!
So here is that gift, it's price beyond worth...
"May you and your loved ones enjoy Peace On Earth."
Thanks to the lurking, but ever helpful, Doug.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Breaking News From Sen. Landrieu!
Sen. Mary Landrieu said:
“The City Council’s decision smartly recognizes that demolition and renewal must be considered hand-in-hand in order to move forward. It reaffirmed a wise commitment to the principles of affordable housing, community partnership, HANO reform and mixed-income development laid out in the Gulf Coast Housing Recovery Act. In so doing, the Council rose above the divisive and misleading destroy-and-forget arguments of Senator Vitter, the Times-Picayune and other opponents who refuse to look beyond the wrecking ball to see the foundation of a more smartly-designed community of tomorrow.
“I am proud of the council members for considering this issue with their heads and their hearts and for ultimately reaching the right conclusion for New Orleans and her people. I am also proud of the Catholic and Episcopal churches, local community leaders and all others for understanding that this effort was never about demolition, but about what happens next; and for having the courage to stand up for one greater New Orleans.”
Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary. Here's what Bishop Charles Jenkins asked for:
In an open letter to the New Orleans City Council on December 6, the Rt. Rev. Charles Jenkins, Episcopal Bishop of Louisiana, urged council members to “reclaim and renew existing Federal Housing Projects as temporary and dignified homes,” for those still in FEMA trailers and returning residents until the proposed, mixed-income housing is developed.
Where's the hold on demolition? What happens next, Mary? Where will the folks living in the buildings go, Mary?
To think I gave her campaign contributions the first time she ran!
“The City Council’s decision smartly recognizes that demolition and renewal must be considered hand-in-hand in order to move forward. It reaffirmed a wise commitment to the principles of affordable housing, community partnership, HANO reform and mixed-income development laid out in the Gulf Coast Housing Recovery Act. In so doing, the Council rose above the divisive and misleading destroy-and-forget arguments of Senator Vitter, the Times-Picayune and other opponents who refuse to look beyond the wrecking ball to see the foundation of a more smartly-designed community of tomorrow.
“I am proud of the council members for considering this issue with their heads and their hearts and for ultimately reaching the right conclusion for New Orleans and her people. I am also proud of the Catholic and Episcopal churches, local community leaders and all others for understanding that this effort was never about demolition, but about what happens next; and for having the courage to stand up for one greater New Orleans.”
Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary. Here's what Bishop Charles Jenkins asked for:
In an open letter to the New Orleans City Council on December 6, the Rt. Rev. Charles Jenkins, Episcopal Bishop of Louisiana, urged council members to “reclaim and renew existing Federal Housing Projects as temporary and dignified homes,” for those still in FEMA trailers and returning residents until the proposed, mixed-income housing is developed.
Where's the hold on demolition? What happens next, Mary? Where will the folks living in the buildings go, Mary?
To think I gave her campaign contributions the first time she ran!
From Dangerblond in New Orleans
I have been monitoring the situation in New Orleans, in which the powers plan to tear down public housing units in the city, at the same time that affordable housing is at a premium and often non-existent. Sharon Jasper, an elderly black woman, is not crazy about the housing that the powers have arranged for her. She would like to be back in her apartment in the St. Bernard public housing complex, which the powers want to demolish instead of repairing.
Dangerblond, a New Orleans blogger, wrote this in the comments to her post, titled "elderly black woman caught with big-screen t.v.; lacks proper level of humility and appreciation", on her blog, named, of all things, Dangerblond:
I don’t think people realize that our economy would collapse if employers were required to pay all their workers enough to afford a family-sized home, either a rental or mortgage. We subsidize corporations by providing cheap labor and housing for the workers. It is vital that large numbers of people remain uneducated, for if they were educated they would need better jobs, and there aren’t enough of those to go around. Many people work at jobs that don’t pay enough to afford housing, that’s the way it’s set up to work.
I met Dangerblond at the Rising Tide Conference in New Orleans. She is a force to be reckoned with, I can tell you. Her statement above is profound and true. I believe that our economy is set up to work just as she says.
Dangerblond, a New Orleans blogger, wrote this in the comments to her post, titled "elderly black woman caught with big-screen t.v.; lacks proper level of humility and appreciation", on her blog, named, of all things, Dangerblond:
I don’t think people realize that our economy would collapse if employers were required to pay all their workers enough to afford a family-sized home, either a rental or mortgage. We subsidize corporations by providing cheap labor and housing for the workers. It is vital that large numbers of people remain uneducated, for if they were educated they would need better jobs, and there aren’t enough of those to go around. Many people work at jobs that don’t pay enough to afford housing, that’s the way it’s set up to work.
I met Dangerblond at the Rising Tide Conference in New Orleans. She is a force to be reckoned with, I can tell you. Her statement above is profound and true. I believe that our economy is set up to work just as she says.
"What The World Eats"
From Time magazine:
By country - a breakdown of food expenditures in a one week period:
Bhutan: A family of thirteen spends 224.93 ngultrum or $5.03
Chad: A family of six spends 685 CFA Francs or $1.23
China: A family of four spends 1,233.76 Yuan or $155.06
Ecuador: A family of nine spends $31.55
Egypt: A family of twelve spends 387.85 Egyptian Pounds or $68.53
Germany: A family of four spends 375.39 Euros or $500.07
Great Britain: A family of four spends 155.54 British Pounds or $253.15
Italy: A family of five spends 214.36 Euros or $260.11
Japan: A family of four spends 37,699 Yen or $317.25
Kuwait: A family of eight spends 63.63 dinar or $221.45
Mexico: A family of five spends 1,862.78 Mexican Pesos or $189.09
Mongolia: A family of four spends 41,985.85 togrogs or $40.02
Poland: A family of five spends 582.48 Zlotys or $151.27
United States: A family of four spends $341.98
United States: A family of four spends $159.18 (a thrifty American family)
For pictures of the families and of the food purchased by the families, click on the above link. Something is very much out of balance here.
Thanks to Ann.
I don't know what bloggers around the world would do without Ann. She's a force.
By country - a breakdown of food expenditures in a one week period:
Bhutan: A family of thirteen spends 224.93 ngultrum or $5.03
Chad: A family of six spends 685 CFA Francs or $1.23
China: A family of four spends 1,233.76 Yuan or $155.06
Ecuador: A family of nine spends $31.55
Egypt: A family of twelve spends 387.85 Egyptian Pounds or $68.53
Germany: A family of four spends 375.39 Euros or $500.07
Great Britain: A family of four spends 155.54 British Pounds or $253.15
Italy: A family of five spends 214.36 Euros or $260.11
Japan: A family of four spends 37,699 Yen or $317.25
Kuwait: A family of eight spends 63.63 dinar or $221.45
Mexico: A family of five spends 1,862.78 Mexican Pesos or $189.09
Mongolia: A family of four spends 41,985.85 togrogs or $40.02
Poland: A family of five spends 582.48 Zlotys or $151.27
United States: A family of four spends $341.98
United States: A family of four spends $159.18 (a thrifty American family)
For pictures of the families and of the food purchased by the families, click on the above link. Something is very much out of balance here.
Thanks to Ann.
I don't know what bloggers around the world would do without Ann. She's a force.
Who Got Beat Up The Worst?
From GG at SF - sorry, I won't link:
Here in Mississippi, the Episcopal Church lives in a post-Katrina era as much as it does a post-Robinson era. The storm came ashore and utterly devastated the Gulf Coast. It delivered a body-blow to the southern "foot" of the state (check your maps and you'll see what I mean). Three hundred people were killed. Six Episcopal churches were completely destroyed. The devastation dwarfed what happened in New Orleans.
Not wanting to get into a battle about who got beat up the worst by Katrina and the federal flood, but just to note that more than 1700 people died in New Orleans - most certainly not to belittle the losses in Mississippi, for they suffered greatly.
Of course, he lives in Mississippi, and I am a native of New Orleans. We could both be prejudiced.
GG thinks the post-Katrina Mississippi Gulf Coast is a metaphor for what the Episcopal Church is destined to become. We shall see.
Here in Mississippi, the Episcopal Church lives in a post-Katrina era as much as it does a post-Robinson era. The storm came ashore and utterly devastated the Gulf Coast. It delivered a body-blow to the southern "foot" of the state (check your maps and you'll see what I mean). Three hundred people were killed. Six Episcopal churches were completely destroyed. The devastation dwarfed what happened in New Orleans.
Not wanting to get into a battle about who got beat up the worst by Katrina and the federal flood, but just to note that more than 1700 people died in New Orleans - most certainly not to belittle the losses in Mississippi, for they suffered greatly.
Of course, he lives in Mississippi, and I am a native of New Orleans. We could both be prejudiced.
GG thinks the post-Katrina Mississippi Gulf Coast is a metaphor for what the Episcopal Church is destined to become. We shall see.
O Oriens
December 20
O Dayspring, Brightness of the everlasting light,
Son of justice, come to give light to them that sit in darkness and in the shadow of death!
Latin
O Oriens, splendor lucis æternæ, et sol justitiæ:
veni, et illumina sedentes in tenebris, et umbra mortis.
Isaiah 9:2
The people who walked in darkness
have seen a great light;
those who lived in a land of deep darkness—
on them light has shined.
Antiphon sung by the Dominican student brothers at Oxford.
Text from Fish Eaters.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Don't Blame Me, Blame Doug - Yet Again
The minister of a city church enjoyed a drink now and then, but his passion was for peach brandy. One of his congregants would make him a bottle each Christmas. One year, when the minister went to visit his friend, hoping for his usual Christmas present, he was not disappointed, but his friend told him that he had to thank him for the peach brandy from the pulpit the next Sunday.
In his haste to get the bottle, the minister hurriedly agreed and left. So the next Sunday the minister suddenly remembered that he had to make a public announcement that he was being supplied alcohol from a member of the church. That morning, his friend sat in the church with a grin on his face, waiting to see the minister's embarrassment.
The minister climbed into the pulpit and said, "Before we begin, I have an announcement. I would very much like to thank my friend, Joe, for his kind gift of peaches ... and for the spirit in which they were given!"
In his haste to get the bottle, the minister hurriedly agreed and left. So the next Sunday the minister suddenly remembered that he had to make a public announcement that he was being supplied alcohol from a member of the church. That morning, his friend sat in the church with a grin on his face, waiting to see the minister's embarrassment.
The minister climbed into the pulpit and said, "Before we begin, I have an announcement. I would very much like to thank my friend, Joe, for his kind gift of peaches ... and for the spirit in which they were given!"
From Bishop Jenkins - Action Alert On Housing
From the Episcopal Diocese of Louisiana:
Action Alert: Demolition of Public Housing
Bishop Jenkins invites all concerned lay and clergy to New Orleans City Hall at 9 a.m. Thursday, December 20th to attend a meeting on the public housing crisis.
On Friday, December 14, the Episcopal Diocese of Louisiana issued a special E-DoLA covering the public housing crisis in New Orleans.
Since the release of that information, a judge has ordered a stop to all demolition until the city council holds a hearing on Thursday. In addition, the Speaker of the House and the Majority Leader of the Senate [call] for a 60-day moratorium on demolition, to enable our lawmakers to be fully satisfied regarding a number of disputed facts, and to address the fact that lawmakers have yet to be shown a "full and viable" plan that addresses immediate need for units by Katrina survivors, one-for-one replacement, and the long-term goal of new mixed income developments.
The debate and vote on Thursday represents a moral crossroads for our community. The lives and well-being of tens of thousands of people are at stake, and the weight of this decision and its implications for those in tenuous housing situations or homeless looms large. This is why we urge all residents with post-Katrina humanitarian and spiritual concerns to register their request of our elected officials to be thorough and not hasty, and to approve the request by our two most powerful Congressional leaders for the 60-day moratorium.
Click Here to read the New York Times Article "High Noon in New Orleans: The Bulldozers Are Ready."
To send a message to the New Orleans City Council, click here.
In the planning stage is a letter to President Bush asking his intervention to prevent demolition of the public housing. The diocese will ask people from all over the country to send the message to the president. When a link is available, I will post it.
Action Alert: Demolition of Public Housing
Bishop Jenkins invites all concerned lay and clergy to New Orleans City Hall at 9 a.m. Thursday, December 20th to attend a meeting on the public housing crisis.
On Friday, December 14, the Episcopal Diocese of Louisiana issued a special E-DoLA covering the public housing crisis in New Orleans.
Since the release of that information, a judge has ordered a stop to all demolition until the city council holds a hearing on Thursday. In addition, the Speaker of the House and the Majority Leader of the Senate [call] for a 60-day moratorium on demolition, to enable our lawmakers to be fully satisfied regarding a number of disputed facts, and to address the fact that lawmakers have yet to be shown a "full and viable" plan that addresses immediate need for units by Katrina survivors, one-for-one replacement, and the long-term goal of new mixed income developments.
The debate and vote on Thursday represents a moral crossroads for our community. The lives and well-being of tens of thousands of people are at stake, and the weight of this decision and its implications for those in tenuous housing situations or homeless looms large. This is why we urge all residents with post-Katrina humanitarian and spiritual concerns to register their request of our elected officials to be thorough and not hasty, and to approve the request by our two most powerful Congressional leaders for the 60-day moratorium.
Click Here to read the New York Times Article "High Noon in New Orleans: The Bulldozers Are Ready."
To send a message to the New Orleans City Council, click here.
In the planning stage is a letter to President Bush asking his intervention to prevent demolition of the public housing. The diocese will ask people from all over the country to send the message to the president. When a link is available, I will post it.
O Clavis David
December 19
O Key of David, and Sceptre of the house of Israel,
that openeth and no man shutteth, and shutteth and no man openeth,
come to liberate the prisoner from the prison, and them that sit in darkness, and in the shadow of death.
Latin
O Clavis David, et sceptrum domus Israel;
qui aperis, et nemo claudit; claudis, et nemo aperit:
veni, et educ vinctum de domo carceris, sedentem in tenebris, et umbra mortis.
Isaiah 22:22
I will place on his shoulder the key of the house of David;
he shall open, and no one shall shut;
he shall shut, and no one shall open.
Antiphon sung by the Dominican student brothers at Oxford.
Text from Fish Eaters.
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Soon And Very Soon
Soon and Very Soon
(text and music by Andrae Crouch, adapted by Wm. F. Smith)
Since I've now learned to upload videos, I had to do this one again, because soon and very soon, we are going to see the king.
Advent is my favorite season of the church year. I love the daily readings which call us to account for falling short in doing justice and loving kindness, and walking humbly before our God, but at the same, the readings give us hope in the great love and mercy of God.
This year, especially, I have experienced a true sense of expectancy, a sense of waiting. I put up my decorations, which are fewer than in years past, including my Charlie Brown type Christmas tree, which has so many ornaments on it that it doesn't look at all pitiful. I do this mainly for my grandchildren.
Our church has no decorations at all, except for the large Advent wreath, which hangs down from a ceiling medallion on a chain which can be raised and lowered. We have flowers on the altar, but not Christmas flowers.
Last Sunday we sang one verse of several Christmas carols during the children's Christmas pageant, but other than that, we have sung no Christmas carols.
Other churches choose to decorate earlier and to sing carols earlier, and I don't mean to disparage the practice, but I do like that we wait until Christmas Eve. On that holy night, upon entering the church, we're greeted with a burst of color, red and green from poinsettias, holly, and other greenery against the soft cream of the walls, and red candles in brass candle holders with glass chimneys in the tall windows. It's a lovely, exciting, and sudden transformation of our church on the eve of the celebration of the birth of Our Lord.
I'm waiting.
I'm expectant.
Come, Lord Jesus.
Video from YouTube.
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