JANE AUSTEN'S FIGHT CLUB

Thanks to Ann for sending the link.

TONY HAYWARD PAID FOR A SERIES OF GAFFES

From the Baton Rouge Advocate:

American Robert Dudley will become BP PLC's first ever non-British chief executive, the company said Tuesday as it reported a record quarterly loss and set aside $32.2 billion to cover costs of the devastating Gulf of Mexico oil spill.

Ending weeks of speculation, BP confirmed that gaffe-prone Tony Hayward will step down Oct. 1 as the London-based company seeks to reassure both the public and investors that it is learning lessons from the spill.
....

The oil spill, he said, has been a "wake-up call not only for BP, but the oil and gas industry overall, and we will be looking deeply at our review of operational safety and what we have learned from this spill."

We can only hope that some good comes out of the Gulf catastrophe.

Svanberg said the board was "deeply saddened" to lose Hayward, 53, who spent almost 30 years at the company, praising his success in streamlining and boosting profits at the bloated company he inherited as CEO three years ago.

Tony boosted profits for the giant corporation, all right, but one can't help but wonder if the part of the "streamlining" was at the expense of safety.

In a mark of faith in its outgoing leader, the company said it planned to recommend him for a non-executive board position at its Russian joint venture, TNK-BP.

The words above brought a smile to my face and made me suspect that the reporters have a sense of irony.

Hayward, who paid the price for a series of gaffes, including the comment "I'd like my life back," will receive a year's salary of 1.045 million pounds ($1.6 million) as part of his severance package. He will also be entitled to draw an annual pension of 600,000 pounds from a pension pot valued at around 11 million pounds and retains his rights to shares under a long-term performance program which could eventually be worth several million pounds if BP's share price recovers.

Not a bad payoff for gaffes. Any ideas on how I can arrange to get paid for my gaffes?

UPDATE:

But chief executive Tony Hayward - who is to leave the top job in October - accepted that the firm could not move on with him at the helm.

His departure was confirmed as BP reported a record $17bn (£11bn) loss, having set aside $32bn to cover the costs of the spill.

BP's managing director Bob Dudley will replace him in the top job.

"This is a very sad day for me personally," Mr Hayward told reporters.

"Whether it is fair or unfair is not the point. I became the public face [of the disaster] and was demonised and vilified.

He added: "BP cannot move on in the US with me as its leader... Life isn't fair.

"Sometimes you step off the pavement and get hit by a bus."

Poor Tony. Don't it break your heart?

From the BBC.

YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE THE FOLLOWING!!!!!

Penguins

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go ?

Wonder no more!!!

It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.

The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried.

The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:

"Freeze a jolly good fellow"

"Freeze a jolly good fellow."

Then they kick him in the ice hole!!!

You really didn't believe that I know anything about penguins, did you?

Don't blame me. Blame Lisa.

JESUS' FRIENDS - ALL MEN

From the National Catholic Reporter:

Was this notice timed to coincide with the Feast of Saint Mary Magdalene? (My emphasis)

The Vatican press office announced today that Pope Benedict XVI has written a children's book called, "The Friends of Jesus". His friends were 12 men, acccording to the book.

The prologue, by Spanish Fr. Julian Carron, president of the Fraternity of Communion and Liberation, begins: ""One upon a time there was a small group of men who, one day two thousand years ago, met a young man who walked the roads of Galilee . Each had his own job and family but, in an instant, their lives changed. They were called Andrew and John, Peter, Matthew, Thomas, etc. They were twelve and we know them today as the 'Apostles'. ... In Jerusalem at that time everyone knew that they were Jesus' 'friends'. ... Later they were joined by St. Paul ..."

Il Papa wants the little children (and adults, too!) to understand that all of Jesus' close friends were men. The close circle of Jesus' friends was closed to women. Got that, everyone?

Read the rest at the NCR.

Thanks to Ann V. for sending the link.

HE DA MAN

The discussion on "Being a post-modern clergy spouse" speculated onto what it must be like to be the husband of ++KJS. Ann Fontaine uncovered the information that "He is a retired professor of mathematics. He has two mathematical theorems named for him, as well as an avid photographer," as well as this picture.

I've wondered what it's like to be a clergy spouse. The spouses I've known fairly well have all been women, and each has handled the role quite differently. I doubt that I could have done it, having grown up in the school of expectations. Very likely, I'd have had a mental breakdown.

From Helen Mosher at The Lead.

NOT DRIVING MISS DAISY

Miss Mimi will leave on August 8 to fly across the ocean to join her favorite adopted niece, Miss Cathy, to travel by car in the West and Northwest of Scotland. Miss Cathy smokes cheroots, swears like a modern girl, and makes a habit of furtively concealing small silver flasks of strong liquor about the car when she thinks no one is looking. In truth, she is exactly what a favorite niece should be, what, in the olden days, was called "fast". As to Miss Mimi, you already know all you need to know about her - no description necessary.


Miss Cathy on the left

Their first choice for a driver was Hoke, Miss Daisy's driver, but he could not make the trip. To their great surprise, MadChauffeur stepped in and volunteered to drive them. For a split second, Miss Mimi considered that having MadChauffeur drive them might be quite mad, but the moment passed, and, after a brief discussion with Miss Cathy, they concluded that having MadChauffeur drive them was an excellent idea. Since MadChauffeur knows Scotland like the back of his hand, they'll be getting a twofer, a driver and a tour guide. They know that MadChauffeur possesses all the proper skills, because he once drove for a living, hauling far heavier loads than Miss Cathy and Miss Mimi. For a spell, MadChauffeur will be back in the professional driver's seat once again.

Miss Mimi on the right below (I am not kidding!)


Places where they'll stay include the following:

Oban

Mull

Mallaig

Skye

They'll take day trips from those locations, including one visit that Miss Mimi insists upon, to Iona. Miss Cathy checked out staying at the Abbey, but the folks there like guests to stay for a week, and neither Miss M nor Miss C thought they had enough time to spend a week.

MadChauffeur must leave Miss C and Miss M on the last leg of their trip, at which time Miss C and Miss M will wave a sad and teary good-bye. Once their grief eases, they'll hire a car, and Miss C will assume the role of driver. Be assured that Miss M will not risk getting behind the wheel to drive on the wrong side of the road, just as surely as Miss C would not get in the car with her, if she did. Miss M insists that there will be no smoking of cheroots inside the car and no furtive nips from the flask while driving, because Miss M will be watching closely. As to the swearing - Miss M is not entirely innocent herself, so how can she demand abstinence of Miss C?

Miss Mimi thanks Miss Cathy for her hard work in making arrangements for lodgings, car hire, train tickets, etc., and Miss C and Miss M both thank MadChauffer for undertaking the chore of driving and for his expert travel advice on what to do and what to see in Scotland. However, after following his advice, if they're not pleased with what they find, they'll complain long and loud.

Miss Mimi credits Miss Cathy for her description of her own character, and she gives MadChauffeur full credit for his own pseudonym and half-credit for the "Driving Miss Daisy" angle, because he insists upon it, but she's not sure he quite deserves it. However, being the generous person that she is, Miss M allows the credit.

Miss Mimi will return home on August 26.



Photo of Mallaig from blackcountrystalker at YouTube.

UPDATE: How could she? Miss Mimi forgot to mention that the travelers will number four, rather than three. The group will include the canine companion of MadChauffeur. If Miss M told you the name of the dog, she would give away the identity of MadChauffeur, so she'll just say the dog is a border collie.

UPDATE 2: Miss Mimi regrets to inform you that their canine companion will not, after all, accompany the travelers to Scotland.

GOOD NEWS ABOUT JOEL

From Margaret at Facebook:

I took a sponge on a stick and soaked it in a latte and Joel successfully sucked the coffee off the sponge.... he was VERY happy! The doctor said he has a long way to go --but his condition is NOT the new normal!!! Whew!!!!

Please continue to pray for Joel and Margaret.

Details may be found here.

IF GOD HAD WANTED WOMEN PRIESTS

I hope Tobias doesn't mind, but I had to have his poem and commentary to post on my blog for the sake of the few of my readers who may not read Tobias's blog, In A Godward Direction. And not everyone clicks on links, but I want everyone to read his words.


UPDATE: Another thought from Tobias:



Amen!

ADIOS, AMIGO

From Robert Peston at the BBC:

Tony Hayward's departure as chief executive of BP has been inevitable for some weeks (see my note of June 20, "Hayward's departure: not if, but when").

That inevitability will be crystallised imminently: Mr Hayward is negotiating the terms of his departure, I am told by a senior BP source.

An announcement that he is going is likely to be made in the next 24 hours. And the strong likelihood is that he'll be replaced by his US colleague, Bob Dudley, who has been put in charge of the clean-up operation in the Gulf of Mexico.

One thing that we can all be sure of is that Hayward will walk away from BP a wealthy man. No worries about the dole for him. He'll be able to spend as much of his time as he likes watching his yacht race from the Isle of Wight, or anywhere in the world, without concern for his "image".

However, what will be bitter-sweet for Hayward is that evidence has emerged over the past few days that BP was less culpable for the disaster than many of its critics believe and that the charge of gross negligence against it may not stick.

The worst outcome for BP would have been proof that it cut corners in the design of well. But as I mentioned last week, the fact that the new cap on the well has staunched the flow of oil suggests that it is robust.

Peston paints a far rosier picture of BP's culpability than I'd accept. What would you call the decisions to skip a series of safety tests (not just one) and to ignore a series of warnings (not just one) that all was not right with the well, if not culpability? Let's not forget that 11 men died, and 17 were injured, and that oil gushed (not spilled!) into the Gulf of Mexico for over 90 days creating an enormous environmental disaster.

The blame game amongst the corporations continues, with BP blaming Transocean and Halliburton, and Transocean and Halliburton kicking the ball back to BP. Round and round the blaming goes, and where it will stop, nobody knows.

We'll see what kind of golden parachute Tony Hayward manages to negotiate before he jumps, or rather is pushed from the leadership of BP.

In the end, we can blame BP, Transocean, Halliburton, and the US government, but we must also look in the mirror and ask ourselves if we are ready to kick our addiction to dirty energy sources. What we are willing to give up to have clean energy?

UPDATE:



BP Gulf command center

Thanks to Lapin in the comments.

UPDATE 2:

The Telegraph gives us a hint as to what Hayward's severance package may look like.

The 53-year-old’s pension pot will pay out £584,000 a year when he turns 60, but the terms of his departure from BP could allow him to draw down the pension earlier.
The BP board is eager to avoid further political criticism but Mr Hayward is believed to want the severance deal to reflect his 28 years of service to the company, which could run into millions.

However will Tony make ends meet?

ORGANIZATIONAL CHART

From Doug.