DOCTOR VISIT

A man visits his doctor with celery stalks stuck in each ear and a carrot stick up each nostril.

He mumbles, "Doc, I'm just not feeling well."

The doctor replies, "Maybe you're not eating right."


Cheers,

Paul (A.)

I know.  It's awful.  Still, the joke gave me my first laugh of the day, so what could I do? 

SUPPORT FOR GAY MARRIAGE GROWS

The video ad shows a surprising combination of supporters of gay marriage.  Throughout the country, support for same-sex marriage is increasingly seen as a matter of equality.

UPDATE: From ABC on Laura Bush:

The former first lady’s office told the Dallas Morning News that Bush had not given her consent to be part of the ad, and had asked that she be removed from it.

WHAT IS AMIE UP TO?

Note: Unless you're an Anglican/Episcopal wonk, this post is probably not for you.

In Sheffield, South Yorkshire, statistics show that only 3% of the population regularly attend church. Back in 2002 the leadership team at Christ Church Fulwood were invited by senior diocesan staff to investigate the possibility of church planting, with the aim of sharing the Gospel with people who had moved into the new residential developments in the city centre. Despite extensive discussions, diocesan support for this initiative was withdrawn, but with mission our priority Christ Church Central was “born” in October 2003 as “a church for people who don’t go to church” outside the formal structures of the Church of England.

So.  Without the approval of the diocesan leadership, a Church of England parish planted a church outside the jurisdiction of the diocese.  Then the communities of the two churches, one Church of England, the other not, discerned that another church plant was in order, thus a second church outside the diocesan jurisdiction was established.  Did the leaders of the Diocese of Sheffield note the odd arrangement?

Nearly 10 years later both parent and daughter churches have continued to grow numerically and partnered one another in mission to the city. An expression of this partnership was the planting of Christ Church Walkley last year, with the initial members drawn from both congregations living in the area. Pete Jackson, who has been one of the associate ministers at Christ Church Central, is the founding minister.  

But wait.  Pete Jackson is not ordained.

Concern that his ministry and that of the new church should be appropriately recognised led us to consult the leadership of the Anglican Mission in England (AMiE), who subsequently wrote to the GAFCON Primates’ Council with a request that they should facilitate Pete’s ordination.

Appropriately recognized by whom?  Anyway, Pete went to Kenya and was ordained deacon in the Anglican Church of Kenya by Bishop Josephat Mule of Kitui.  Are you still with me?  Apparently, the ordination in Kenya caught the attention of the officials in the Diocese of Sheffield, as is shown by the following statement from the diocese.

ORDINATION IN KENYA

Reports are now circulating in the public domain of an ordination in Kenya in recent days. The Communications Office was inundated with calls wanting clarification and comment.

+Peter (Bishop of Doncaster)has issued the following statement today:

“The Diocese of Sheffield was made aware last week that Pete Jackson from Christ Church Walkley had been ordained in Kenya on Saturday 9 February 2013. This came as a total surprise as we had no prior knowledge or communication regarding this. We continue to seek further clarification and dialogue with those involved in the ordination at various levels and are taking advice so that we have a comprehensive picture of what took place. This will enable us to reflect further on the developments and their implications.”

AMiE (Anglican Mission in England) and AMiA (Anglican Mission in the Americas) see England and the Americas as mission territory in dire need of evangelization by the right sort of Anglicans, but the groups wish to remain part of the Anglican Communion.  I suspect their secret (or not so secret) wish is to take control of the communion and disseminate what they consider proper Anglicanism.

H/T to Simon Sarmiento at Thinking Anglicans for the links.

Adrian Worsfold, in his post titled "Entryism in the Church of England" says:

So, here we go, and outside London: entryism inside the Church of England.

Entryism is where a small body that keeps a tight control of itself invades and uses a host of a more mdoerate (sic) body because that body has a wider outreach than the small group could ever hope to acquire, despite the fact that the small body can attract to a limited extent larger numbers of its own fanatical types and some newer marginal people under its wing. The small group also takes opportunities to go out into the larger body and take over, bit by bit, as the opportunities present, units of the larger body's operation. The usual channels of decision making become subverted under the entryists' often informal and preplanned means of control. The model is trotskyite, and was shown with the actions of the Militant Tendency inside the Labour Party.

The larger body is usually undergoing weaknesses and transition, and is ripe for actions taken against it: and the small body seeks to weaken the host further as it takes to itself the hosts' shell institutions and acquire them to itself.

Adrian's take is interesting.  He sees the entryism "located at Christ Church Fulwood, which is C of E and the centre of the franchise."

BUT WILL SHE WEAR HER MITRE?

Katharine Jefferts Schori

The Episcopal Church
Office of Public Affairs
Tuesday, February 19, 2013

At the invitation of Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby, Episcopal Church Presiding Bishop and Primate Katharine Jefferts Schori will attend the enthronement celebration on March 21 at Canterbury Cathedral.

“I look forward to joining with other primates of the Anglican Communion for the investiture of the next Archbishop of Canterbury,” Presiding Bishop Jefferts Schori said. “It is a particular delight to welcome Justin Welby in this role, as we have come to know him over the last several years, both in The Episcopal Church and among the primates.  He enters this role at a time of opportunity and challenge, when many people hope for continued growth and maturation within the Communion.”

During the trip, Presiding Bishop Jefferts Schori will attend the Anglican Communion Primates Standing Committee, of which she is an elected member.

Archbishop Welby is the former bishop of Durham.

The Archbishop of Canterbury is considered one of the four instruments of Communion of the Anglican Communion; the others are the Lambeth Conferences, the Primates Meetings and the Anglican Consultative Council.

Inquiring Episcopalian minds want to know...about the mitre, that is.

UPDATE: My question in the headline is moot.  The Primates who attend the enthronement ceremony wear the rochet and chimere.

Rowan Williams' enthronement

Thanks to Lapin at Facebook for the photo, which is from the ACNS.

TELL HIM, NURSE

A 65-year-old former nurse has delivered a withering telling off to the Archbishop of Westminster – England’s most senior Catholic – for his stance on gay marriage.

The woman, who now works with animals and lives in northern England, says she has been married for 30 years but gay marriage doesn’t threaten the status of her relationship whatsoever.

And she says Archbishop Vincent Nichols and his church have become obsessed with gay sex, ignoring the real problems of society – the economy, schools, hospitals and our children’s future.

The woman has requested to remain anonymous.  Excerpts from her splendid letter follow.

I am 65 years of age and have been married for almost 30 years. I would so have appreciated an explanation from you or any of the hierarchy exactly how my long and happy marriage will be threatened by the union of gay couples. When I meet people in my day to day existence they talk about the economic climate (bad), lack of employment (bad), uncertain future for their children (bad), state of schools, hospitals (bad) – never ever has anybody expressed concern about a threat to their marriage by the proposed legalizing of same-sex marriage. You, the church, claim that marriage is the bedrock of society and indeed it is but you also seem to consider it so fragile that allowing a few gay people access to it will endanger it forever. Here the implicit homophobia cannot be ignored.

Sadly you still think your pronouncements will be accepted without question by a meek credulous herd. You have spent far too much time telling us just how sinful we are while drawing veils of respectability over your own grievous wrongdoings.

I sometimes despair of this church, this institution. It seems to me in my reading of the Gospels that Jesus had no problem whatsoever with those who were considered outsiders or exceptions. He appears to have happily shared meals with prostitutes, drunkards, lepers, Gentiles and I do not doubt with people of same-sex orientation since such an orientation has existed since time began. The church seems much happier with its version of order over compassion and love towards the so-called exceptions. It has an appalling history of excluding and torturing those who do not think or subscribe to its definition of ‘right’.
....

To me, you (particularly but not exclusively the hierarchy) appear to be a frightened group of men preoccupied with titles, clothing and other religious externals. You seem, with some wonderful and brave exceptions, to pay only lip service to ecumenism and matters of social justice. I would love to see the so-called ‘Princes of the Church’ (Where did all these triumphant, utterly anti-Gospel titles you award yourselves come from?) get rid of the silk, the gold, the Gucci shoes, the ridiculous tall hats, croziers, fancy soutanes etc etc and substitute bare heads and a simple pilgrim’s staff on all liturgical occasions and that might be taken as a small outward sign of your inner acceptance of fundamental Gospel values.

Bulls-eye!  What an excellent and eloquent letter.  Along with the Roman Catholic "princes" of the church, I'd hope the "princes" of the Church of England, and especially the chief "prince", Archbishop Justin Welby, who will be enthroned next month, read the retired nurse's letter.  The  matters with which the archbishops and bishops in the two churches occupy their time and speak of, so often seem to have very little to do with the Gospel.

And for all hierarchical churches, if those in authority would keep in mind that they are called to be the servants of all, the Gospel of Jesus Christ would be far better served.  I've often wondered what silks, and lace, and mitres have to do with the Gospel and thought that simpler vestments might be an aid to remind those in authority of their servant role.  Mitres are the silliest, and my suggestion would be to ditch them.

But I digress.  Though I have quoted generously from the letter, I urge you to read it all.

Photo from Wikipedia.

DON'T TELL

 

From someecards.

KID ON THE TOILET

A LITTLE THREE YEAR OLD BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET.  HIS MOTHER THINKS HE HAS BEEN IN THERE TOO LONG, SO SHE GOES IN TO SEE WHAT'S UP.  THE LITTLE BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET READING A BOOK, BUT ABOUT EVERY 15 SECONDS OR SO, HE PUTS THE BOOK DOWN, GRIPS ONTO THE TOILET SEAT WITH HIS LEFT HAND AND HITS HIMSELF ON TOP OF HIS HEAD WITH HIS RIGHT HAND.

HIS MOTHER SAYS: "BILLY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? YOU'VE BEEN IN HERE FOR A WHILE."

BILLY SAYS: "I'M FINE, MOMMY. I JUST HAVEN'T GONE POTTY YET."

MOTHER SAYS: "OK, YOU CAN STAY HERE A FEW MORE MINUTES, BUT, BILLY, WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF ON THE HEAD?"

 

BILLY SAYS: "WORKS FOR KETCHUP."

Don't blame me.  Blame susan s.

BOBBY JINDAL - A TRAVELING MAN

During 2012, Gov. Bobby Jindal spent almost one day of every four — at least 86 of 365 days — out of the state, mostly campaigning for Republican candidates around the nation and speaking to conservative political groups.

Various GOP supporters and campaigns paid for Jindal’s hotel rooms and airfare for the campaign trips. Louisiana taxpayers, however, paid $65,000 to feed, house and, often, fly his security team. Those taxpayer dollars also often ensured that the governor’s luggage arrived ahead of him, allowing him to quickly move through airports.

The perks of being governor are, indeed, convenient, but they cost money, our money, of which the state has run short.  For Jindal to be gone from his office at least 25% of the time seems excessive to me.  The true percentage of time spent away from Louisiana is more than 25%, because when the governor doesn't stay overnight, the trip does not have to go on record.

Not all of the trips are represented in the available records.

For instance, Jindal flew to Grand Island, Neb., on July 14 to address the Nebraska Republican Party State Convention at a $500-per-person event. He called President Barack Obama “the most liberal president” and “the most incompetent president” since former President Jimmy Carter, according to reports published in The Grand Island Independent. He returned that night, according to a statement by his press office and newspaper reports.

And this, my friends, is the man the national media calls on for interviews about the new, not-stupid Republican Party.  Does the national press check out the governor's approval rating at home, (37% in the most recent poll) where the full effects of his conservative agenda are being felt? 

NOTE TO REPUBLICANS

 

The people of the country will blame you for the sequester.  The military/industrial complex will blame you for the sequester.  If the sequester goes into effect, and the country plunges into another recession, you will be blamed.  Wake up.  You can't win this one.

DADDY'S ROOM

One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed.  She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, ''Mommy, I'm scared.  Would you sleep with me tonight?''

His mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.  ''I can't dear,'' she said. ''I have to sleep in daddy's room.''

A long silence was broken at last by his little voice:  ''The big sissy!''


Cheers,

Paul (A.)