DID I READ THAT RIGHT?

Did I read that sign correctly?
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:(I sure hope so)
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

Thanks, Frank.

ALL ABOUT ME

My Facebook friend Chris Fewings dashes off poetry the way the rest of us breathe, and he wrote the bit of verse about me when I used the Louisiana French term "lagniappe", which means a little extra, something like a baker's dozen. I think the poem is so lovely and funny that I wanted to share. Besides, it's all about me! What's not to like?

She's the sunshine in the twilight
The little extra in Louisiana
The slug of something stronger
Slipped into my champagne.
She's the sparkle in the bubbly
Her hubby's evening star.
She's the toast of all on Facebook.
She's the rainbow in the rain.

Chris Fewings 23-12-13

Chris writes very fine serious poetry, which may be found at the link above.  I especially like "Open Your Hand".

On his "About" page, Chris says, "Influences on my poetry include R S Thomas and George Herbert, among many others. (I hope that sounds impressive.) My tastes have become more catholic with age, so I now delight in light verse almost as much as in “difficult” poetry."  Perhaps he delighted a bit in the light verse about me.  I know I did.

FEAST OF ST JOHN THE EVANGELIST

Today is the feast of St John the Evangelist, the patron of my church. The Fathers of the Church believed John the Evangelist was the author of the Gospel, three Epistles, and the Book of Revelation, and the same person as John the Apostle and John of Patmos.  Later scholars suggest rather that a disciple of John the Apostle wrote the Gospel and three Epistles and that John of Patmos was a different person, because the writing style of the Book of Revelation is too different from the Gospel and Epistles.

Pictured above is the stained glass window at St. John's Episcopal Church in Thibodaux. The detail in the glass shows a snake coming out of the goblet in John's hand. According to legend, the emperor Domitian offered poisoned wine to John, but he blessed the wine and the poison came out of the goblet in the form of a snake.  A painting by El Greco illustrates the same legend.

Collect of the day

Shed upon your Church, O Lord, the brightness of your light; that we, being illumined by the teaching of your apostle and evangelist John, may so walk in the light of your truth, that at length we may attain to the fullness of eternal life, through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

(Book of Common Prayer)

I BLAME THE AFRICAN VIOLETS

Well, my peeps, we started off the Second Day of Christmas (aka Boxing Day) with a wee flood. I was in process of soaking my seven African violet plants in the sink in the utility room, the very same plants I pled for a kindhearted plant-lover to adopt the other day on Facebook, with no takers. I closed the drain, turned on the tap, put two plants in to soak, went to get another, got distracted, and left the water running with the drain closed. When Grandpère came in from outside, the utility room and the nearby bathroom were flooded with water mixed with dirt from the flower pots. No permanent damage was done, but the clean-up was not fun.

The cabinets below the sink and counter and their contents were wet and dirty. Grandpère had to move the washer and dryer out, because water and dirt had seeped under the appliances. Some wise person said it's an ill wind that blows no good, and, in our case, the saying proved true, because, as Grandpère was mopping behind the washer, he saw that the pipe that drains the water was corroded and had a small leak, which, had he not discovered it, would very soon have become a large leak with the possibility of another flood in the utility room. We also threw away a load of wet junk that had accumulated in the cabinets, another good result.

The leaves, flowers, and stems of the two plants that were in the sink were covered with dirt, so I pitched them, and then there were five. Maybe five plants will be more manageable.

FEAST OF THE ST STEPHEN THE MARTYR

St Stephen icon by Tobias Haller

We give you thanks, O Lord of glory, for the example of the first martyr Stephen, who looked up to heaven and prayed for his persecutors to your Son Jesus Christ, who stands at your right hand: where he lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, in glory everlasting.

(Book of Common Prayer)

If the humble beginnings of Jesus, the Christ, conceived by an unwed mother and born in a cold stable, a shelter for farm animals, is not real enough for us, the feast of St Stephen the Martyr jerks us violently back into reality.

Read Tobias' "Warning For Storytellers".

Acts 7:59-8:8

While they were stoning Stephen, he prayed, ‘Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.’ Then he knelt down and cried out in a loud voice, ‘Lord, do not hold this sin against them.’ When he had said this, he died.  And Saul approved of their killing him.

That day a severe persecution began against the church in Jerusalem, and all except the apostles were scattered throughout the countryside of Judea and Samaria. Devout men buried Stephen and made loud lamentation over him. But Saul was ravaging the church by entering house after house; dragging off both men and women, he committed them to prison.

Now those who were scattered went from place to place, proclaiming the word. Philip went down to the city of Samaria and proclaimed the Messiah to them. The crowds with one accord listened eagerly to what was said by Philip, hearing and seeing the signs that he did, for unclean spirits, crying with loud shrieks, came out of many who were possessed; and many others who were paralysed or lame were cured. So there was great joy in that city.

'TWAS THE DAY BEFORE CHRISTMAS...

Yeah, That’s How It ‘Twas …

 

‘Twas the day before Christmas and all through the store

The clerktures were stocking the shelves with more more.

The shoppers were whisking their carts through the aisles

With nary a pause for the checker’s wry smiles

For the last minute frantic, seekers of sales,

Deaf to the howling of their lost children’s wails.

And Tasha and I o’er the fryers presiding,

Ignoring the new boss’s chatter and chiding,

Filled orders for chicken by the pound and the piece,

As if breading and oil (please just don’t call it grease)

Were first gifts by tradition, required with zeal,

To note the occasion, poor folk’s holiday meal.

Still, still, still, the union requires a break for us all,

left the tongs to the boys, made the dash to ladies stall

with only slight hope they’d not make a great mess

of our tidy, efficient, order process.

With ten long minutes to fill before punching back in

Snuck the bell ringer hot coffee to offset his gin,

Then wandered past cases I’d soon be re-filling

Thus thwarting the work rules that frustrate the willing.

When back from our rest what a sight we did see,

An ocean of oil from the fryers set free!

The filter valve left open in haste they did leave,

Even no-slippy shoes gave no help or reprieve

From the wading in hot slick they made on our break,

No help their limp shrugging, “it was just a mistake.”

With squeegees and towels and spill-eaze by the quart,

Set them to swabbing, a not so festive new sport,

While we re-filled the wells with fresh bubbly goo,

With orders yet pending, nothing else would do,

Despite visions of mayhem that danced in our heads

And wishing those slackers had stayed home in their beds

(a call-off less trouble than trouble created

By half-hearted work from the uncomplicated).

At the counter the customers gazed on it all

With wonder, amazement, not one wing we let fall

As we skated on tiles to meet the demand

For the fried and the baked and a spit on hand

To spin the rotisserie birds roasted whole,

See grimace as grin, let no feast turn to coal,

Their parties saved in one hundred piece lots,

no disappointing their own tiny tots

expecting fresh drumsticks with cocoa to go

as they wait for Santa in fresh falling snow.

The nameless in kitchens in stores far and wide

Will know what I mean as I set this aside,

Merry Christmas to all as you hustle away,

The store’s closed tomorrow, and yes just for a day,

If it’s chicken you want, call some elderly elf,

Or you’ll just have to make it your own sorry self.

 

(Marthe G. Walsh)

BABY JESUS IS HERE

A favorite passage from one of my favorite books is the quote below from Evelyn Waugh's Brideshead Revisited. Charles Ryder and Sebastian Flyte, two young Englishmen, meet at Oxford in the period between the two world wars. Charles is not a believer, and Sebastian is from an aristocratic Roman Catholic family. After they've been friends for a while, Sebastian brings up the subject of his faith and Catholicism. What follows is the dialogue between the two:

(Sebastian) “Oh dear, it’s very difficult being a Catholic!”

(Charles) “Does it make much difference to you?”

(Sebastian:) “Of course. All the time.”

(Charles) “Well, I can’t say I’ve noticed it. Are you struggling against temptation? You don’t seem much more virtuous than me.”

(Sebastian) “I’m very, very much wickeder,” said Sebastian indignantly.

(Charles) “… I suppose they try to make you believe an awful lot of nonsense?”

(Sebastian) “Is it nonsense? I wish it were. It sometimes sounds terribly sensible to me.”

(Charles) “But my dear Sebastian, you can’t seriously believe it all.”

(Sebastian) “Can’t I?”

(Charles) “I mean about Christmas and the star and the three kings and the ox and the ass.”

(Sebastian) “Oh yes. I believe that. It’s a lovely idea.”

(Charles) “But you can’t believe things because they’re a lovely idea.”

(Sebastian) “But I do. That’s how I believe.”

I love the passage, because Sebastian describes how I believe, too. It's very much the stories, the myths (not myths in the sense of something that's not true - myths in the sense of universal truths) that are a great part of what draw me into Christianity.

THE LIGHT OF CHRIST HAS COME INTO THE WORLD

O God, you have caused this holy night to shine with the brightness of the true Light: Grant that we, who have known the mystery of that Light on earth, may also enjoy him perfectly in heaven; where with you and the Holy Spirit he lives and reigns, one God, in glory everlasting. Amen.

(Book of Common Prayer)

The white candle in the center of the Advent wreath is the Jesus candle, which is lit on Christmas Eve and Christmas day.

COME ONE, COME ALL TO ST JOHN'S EPISCOPAL CHURCH CHRISTMAS EVE SERVICE

St John's Episcopal Church - Thibodaux, LA

St John's Episcopal Church
718 Jackson Street
Thibodaux, Louisiana

December 24 - Christmas Eve

7:30 PM Lessons and Carols
8:00 PM Holy Eucharist

I love Advent and the Christmas Eve church service with Lessons and Carols and the Eucharist following. He's coming, and He's already here. Alleluia!

BLUE CHRISTMAS

 

Many churches will offer "Longest Night" or "Blue Christmas" services. Paraphrased from Episcopal Life.

During these shortest days and longest nights of the year, many church congregations offer services meant to bring comfort to those who struggle to find the joy of the Advent and Christmas seasons.

Often called Blue Christmas or Longest Night services, many take place the evening of December 21, the night of the winter solstice, and are designed for people who are coping with loss. Those people hear the Christmas song that describes "the most wonderful time of the year with the kids jingle belling and everyone telling you 'Be of good cheer'" but instead feel they are living the lyrics of the 1957 hit "Blue Christmas" when Elvis Presley sings "I'll have a blue Christmas without you, I'll be so blue just thinking about you."

 

We hold before God:
those for whom life is very difficult;
those who have difficult decisions to make , and who honestly do not know the right thing to do.

We hold before God:
those who have difficult tasks to do and to face, and who fear they may fail in them;
those who have difficult temptations to face, and who know only too well that they may fall to them, if they try to meet them alone.

We hold before God:
those who know that they can be their own worst enemies.

We hold before God:
those who have difficult people to work with;
those who have to suffer unjust treatment, unfair criticism, unappreciated work.

We hold before God:
those who are sad because someone they loved has died;
and any who are disappointed in something for which they hoped very much.

William Barclay

From Celtic Daily Prayer.