Thursday, November 29, 2007

Overcoming


From the Southwest City Journal:
Erica Burrus Photo/ Alyse Gordon

By Julie Randle

When a child comes out of the closet it's never easy.

They can face threats, harassment and violence from peers. Friends may ostracize them and family may not accept them.

When Alyse Gordon declared she was a lesbian at age 15, she had an easier time than some others did, she said. However, the 18-year-old Mehlville resident still dealt with her own struggles.Gordon was able to avoid the ostracism from friends and family. She was never threatened and she was never a target for violence. But she knows others who were threatened at school, who endured sexual slurs and who were even beaten.


Alyse was one of the finalists for the Dillenkoffer Endowment scholarship, set up in memory of my beloved sister, Gayle, who passed away in April of last year from pancreatic cancer. The statement at the website of the Dillenkoffer Endowment states:

The Dillenkoffer Endowment was formed to support gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered teens with college tuition grants in Kansas and Missouri.

The members of the committee, which includes my brother-in-law, Frank, Gayle's husband and the friend who spearheaded the formation of the endowment, had difficulty in making their choice, since all of the finalists were outstanding young people. Their names are:

Ryan Wilson of Minneapolis, Kansas - four-year scholarship of $10,000 per year
Rachel Gadd-Nelson of Kansas City, Kansas - one-year scholarship of $1,000
Alyse Gordon of St. Louis, Missouri - one-year scholarship of $1,000
Jordan Timm of Marion, Kansas - one-year scholarship of $1,000


I met the finalists at the dinner and reception this past May, when the scholarships were awarded, and all were fine young people. Most teens search for acceptance amongst their peers, and GLBT teens have a much harder time finding that acceptance.

Believe it or not, as old as I am, I can still remember being a teenager, and it was not all fun and games. Sometimes it was hard. That these four young people chose to be open and honest about their sexual orientation during their high school years attests to their courage, and I'm sure they paid a price. On the other hand, they were spared the baggage of carrying around hidden secrets.

Alyse is a smart, articulate, and beautiful young woman, and although her parents and friends were supportive, she has had her share of difficulties.

That doesn't mean that Gordon had an easy time of it. As a teenager she struggled with depression, suicide and self-mutilation. She pulled out of a downward spiral when she was hospitalized.

She has overcome.

I am so proud of these young people who have succeeded in the face of enormous difficulties. I pray and wish for the best for them and that they will come through their struggles finer and stronger people and serve as examples to those who follow them.

Gayle would have loved that her memory is honored by this endowment. I know that she looks down with great satisfaction to see that those who loved her have chosen this type of memorial for her.

The plaque on the right sidebar leads to the site of the Dillenkoffer Endowment. Some of you have heard the story of the endowment in an earlier, post, but when I saw the article on Alyse, I wanted to say once again that I am proud to have met her and the other young men and woman who received the awards.

15 comments:

  1. What a fabulous tribute, Mimi. You are doing such good here!

    Kids of this age are so insecure at times (I know from my own stepkids, and the students I teach). Giving them this validation will be a great source of strength to them.

    IT

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  2. Oh Grandmere! This is amazing- I cried as I read about Alyse.

    And your sister Gayle. This caused me to reread your Confessions series.

    You amaze me.

    I just did a post about this post, the endowment and you.

    I hope you do not mind - I just think this is really important.

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  3. congrats to the finalists!

    and much praise to all of your family for doing this.

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  4. IT, I was honored to meet them, truly. I'm glad I was not on the committee, because it would have been terribly difficult to make a decision.

    Dennis, my sister's friend, a gay man, came up with this terrific idea and put up the seed money to get the project going. Our family have donated to the project, but her friend gets the major credit.

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  5. Fran, thank you! I'm delighted that you did a post about it! Truly, that means a lot.

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  6. One hoped that with the passage of time and the increase in understanding, life would get easier for young gay folk, but there's still a way to go, isn't there? How wonderful that the Dillenkoffer Endowment should have been set up in your sister's memory to help them.

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  7. This is SO heartening! A great way to start the weekend.
    Lindy

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  8. How's Diane?
    I came over here looking for news.

    Saint Laika pray for Diana that she will grow strong and healthy and have many more happy days with Grandmère and Grandpère.

    Sending love to you all.

    Lindy
    and Rowan

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  9. Lindy, Diana is coming home today. She's still on two pain medications and an antibiotic, but the vet said she can heal here at home now.

    Thanks for the love.

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  10. Would you post another scan of Diana? I know you've done so in the past, but way too far back for my patience where looking for it is concerned.

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  11. What a wonderful post, and a wonderful tribute to these kids. My partner studies LGBT teens (getting a PhD in Human Developmt and Family Studies at Penn State) and I'm sure she knows about this foundation, but I'll be sure to send her the links.

    Thank you for your good work!

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  12. Lapin, Lindy, when Diana gets home from the vet's, I will write a post giving information on her condition, and I'll put up a picture of her along with the post.

    DGuzman, welcome. I'm glad you like the post on Alyse. I could not believe how mature and strong these young people seemed to be. Their stories are amazing.

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  13. I can't think of a more wonderful legacy to leave behind than something like this. I'm so sorry for your loss, Mimi---I know there is pain in this, as well as happiness for the young people involved.

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  14. What everybody else said. The loss, the struggles, the courage, the encouragement. I am strengthened, moved, and give thanks in reading this. Blessings on all involved.

    Mimi, you been tagged, girl.

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  15. Doxy, I think it's great, too, and it's just what my sister would have wanted.

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